Ration Reality

Soylent Ape

Posted by The Bagel of Everything on June 9th, 2007

My name is Soylent Ape and I’m the voice of unattractive, lower-class underacheivers everywhere. I’m a cynical bastard, not ulike a Slightly Semitic Andy Rooney–only younger, marginally cooler and less likely to be beaten down by me. I walk a fine line between upright citizenship and drooling, writhing insanity. Ration Reality provides me with an outlet for my rantings.

 

26 Responses to 'Soylent Ape'

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  1. Soylatte Apron said, on June 12th, 2007 at 10:59 pm

    “!!Soylent Ape is made of…people?”

  2. Stuff in my car theatre « Ration Reality said, on July 2nd, 2007 at 6:06 pm

    [...] animation, movies, humor, art — The Bagel of Everything @ 3:48 pm Sunday, I went with Soylent Ape to his parents’ [...]

  3. bagel of everything said, on July 10th, 2007 at 8:05 pm

    mmm…delicious primate crackers

  4. Soylent Ape said, on July 11th, 2007 at 6:29 am

    You got the “cracker” part right!

  5. Prostitution Solution « Ration Reality said, on August 4th, 2007 at 5:07 pm

    [...] and return to the nest report in hand. I was given a 10 gallon water jug filled with Bagel and Ape’s loose change from the last 5 years (how was it not spent on crack? Ah, sweet, sweet crack…) [...]

  6. You Can’t Handle the Tooth « Ration Reality said, on September 20th, 2007 at 9:18 am

    [...] More articles by Soylent Ape: [...]

  7. Laurie Kendrick said, on October 10th, 2007 at 7:57 am

    You know Ape, I sent Missy an de-mail asking for you two to respond to my query about writing. I figured either she forgot or blew me off but I still have a part two to write next and would still LOVE to include you or Missy or hoth in my post. I consider you two some of the smartest most erudite people in the blogosphere.

    Thanks for the head’s up. I know the print world pretty well. I’ve dabbled in it from time to time as I played radio and TV over the years. Asshoels exist everywhere. The one thing I hate are the “print purists” who think no other form of Journalism exists. They might be right, but they’re always such dicks about it.

    Please write me a few paragraphs on writig. Bagel should have the original e-mail I sent her. If I could have that by Monday night, that would work!!

    Thanks Ape!!.

  8. bagel of everything said, on October 10th, 2007 at 12:29 pm

    Sorry Laurie! I didn’t blow you off! I’ve just been swamped!
    We’ll get somethin to you ASAP.

  9. Soylent Ape said, on October 10th, 2007 at 4:36 pm

    Laurie: Thank you ever so! From you that is a high complement. I will get you a quick overview soon.

  10. Anti-anti-consumerism « Ration Reality said, on December 11th, 2007 at 7:30 am

    [...] of Everything on December 11th, 2007 It appears that way, items before you throw them away. - Soylent Ape (in his [...]

  11. franke james said, on December 11th, 2007 at 12:13 pm

    Hi Soylent,

    Thanks for the awesome ‘ganked from credit’ on my global eyeball.

    Cheers,

    Franke

  12. micky2 said, on December 11th, 2007 at 12:50 pm

    Well, if its not another percussionist ! If you play like you write, I wanna hear !
    Just bought my boy a begginer set. He started with ZZ Top. Hes now attempting Primus.
    God help us all.

  13. bagel of everything said, on December 11th, 2007 at 12:56 pm

    Soy: “Thank you ever so!” <– Please don’t talk like that ever again, ok?

    Franke: Thanks for not suing. Your art is excellent.

    Micky: Soy is an awesome drummer. He plays guitar, bass, and piano as well.

  14. micky2 said, on December 11th, 2007 at 1:15 pm

    We bought my son the set right before he started middle school with the intention of him playing percussion in band.
    They gave him a fucking trombone instead ! Pubic schools . Dont you just lovem ?
    I have a parent teacher confrenece coming up next week. Might be good idea to video tape it. Submit it to “Parents gone wild”

  15. bagel of everything said, on January 6th, 2008 at 5:14 am

    Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!

    Andrew W.K., pwnt by birthday balloons.

  16. Bitches Love Soylent Ape « Ration Reality said, on January 6th, 2008 at 6:11 am

    [...] indulgence, pokemon, video, youtube by The Bagel of Everything on January 6th, 2008 In honor of Soylent Ape’s birthday, I’m posting his new favorite [...]

  17. Stona Lisa said, on January 6th, 2008 at 8:53 am

    This Bitch loves her some Soylent Ape! Happy Birthday man…hope Bagel does some UNholy things for you today!
    Amanda

  18. Soylent ape said, on January 6th, 2008 at 10:37 am

    @ Stona: Thanks for the kind birthday wishes. Spark one in my honor!

    @ Bagel: Knowing how much you despise Andrew WK, I appreciate all the AWK videos you had to endure to find this one. Thanks for your sacrifice.

  19. micky2 said, on January 6th, 2008 at 10:50 am

    Stona;
    I hope Soy does find something hole-e. ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL Night long !
    Happy birthday dude. Its been a sincere pleasure to meet you.

  20. Soylent ape said, on January 6th, 2008 at 11:54 am

    Thanks, Micky! Same here, man.

  21. LOL Heathen said, on January 6th, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    Happy Birthday!

  22. Soylent ape said, on January 7th, 2008 at 2:38 am

    Thanks, LOL Heathen! Thanks for selecting my entry as winner of the Christmas contest. It’s a honor and I’ll wear my shirt proudly.

  23. God said, on January 7th, 2008 at 11:52 am

    Happy Late Birthday, Ape. I was too busy screwing with the Christians to get a card out. I really should have spent an extra day creating FedEx. BTW, instead I spent that extra day creating things like fire ants and premature ejaculation. See, I do have a sense of humor.

  24. Band of the Month: The Chubby Chasers « Ration Reality said, on January 8th, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    [...] come along to celebrate the females with a little more to love! (Nearly 2/3 of Americans, including yours truly, are overweight– a clear majority. It’s about time the popular culture–if [...]

  25. The 12 most useless lists of all time « Ration Reality said, on April 11th, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    [...] Gif’s Soylent Ape has fapped [...]

  26. The Bagel of Everything said, on May 7th, 2008 at 10:26 pm

    Yo Soy,

    Does this remind you of anyone? (scroll down)

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