Soylent Ape
My name is Soylent Ape and I’m the voice of unattractive, lower-class underacheivers everywhere. I’m a cynical bastard, not ulike a Slightly Semitic Andy Rooney–only younger, marginally cooler and less likely to be beaten down by me. I walk a fine line between upright citizenship and drooling, writhing insanity. Ration Reality provides me with an outlet for my rantings.
“!!Soylent Ape is made of…people?”
Soylatte Apron
June 12, 2007 at 10:59 pm
[...] animation, movies, humor, art — The Bagel of Everything @ 3:48 pm Sunday, I went with Soylent Ape to his parents’ [...]
Stuff in my car theatre « Ration Reality
July 2, 2007 at 6:06 pm
mmm…delicious primate crackers
bagel of everything
July 10, 2007 at 8:05 pm
You got the “cracker” part right!
Soylent Ape
July 11, 2007 at 6:29 am
[...] and return to the nest report in hand. I was given a 10 gallon water jug filled with Bagel and Ape’s loose change from the last 5 years (how was it not spent on crack? Ah, sweet, sweet crack…) [...]
Prostitution Solution « Ration Reality
August 4, 2007 at 5:07 pm
[...] More articles by Soylent Ape: [...]
You Can’t Handle the Tooth « Ration Reality
September 20, 2007 at 9:18 am
You know Ape, I sent Missy an de-mail asking for you two to respond to my query about writing. I figured either she forgot or blew me off but I still have a part two to write next and would still LOVE to include you or Missy or hoth in my post. I consider you two some of the smartest most erudite people in the blogosphere.
Thanks for the head’s up. I know the print world pretty well. I’ve dabbled in it from time to time as I played radio and TV over the years. Asshoels exist everywhere. The one thing I hate are the “print purists” who think no other form of Journalism exists. They might be right, but they’re always such dicks about it.
Please write me a few paragraphs on writig. Bagel should have the original e-mail I sent her. If I could have that by Monday night, that would work!!
Thanks Ape!!.
Laurie Kendrick
October 10, 2007 at 7:57 am
Sorry Laurie! I didn’t blow you off! I’ve just been swamped!
We’ll get somethin to you ASAP.
bagel of everything
October 10, 2007 at 12:29 pm
Laurie: Thank you ever so! From you that is a high complement. I will get you a quick overview soon.
Soylent Ape
October 10, 2007 at 4:36 pm
[...] of Everything on December 11th, 2007 It appears that way, items before you throw them away. – Soylent Ape (in his [...]
Anti-anti-consumerism « Ration Reality
December 11, 2007 at 7:30 am
Hi Soylent,
Thanks for the awesome ‘ganked from credit’ on my global eyeball.
Cheers,
Franke
franke james
December 11, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Well, if its not another percussionist ! If you play like you write, I wanna hear !
Just bought my boy a begginer set. He started with ZZ Top. Hes now attempting Primus.
God help us all.
micky2
December 11, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Soy: “Thank you ever so!” <– Please don’t talk like that ever again, ok?
Franke: Thanks for not suing. Your art is excellent.
Micky: Soy is an awesome drummer. He plays guitar, bass, and piano as well.
bagel of everything
December 11, 2007 at 12:56 pm
We bought my son the set right before he started middle school with the intention of him playing percussion in band.
They gave him a fucking trombone instead ! Pubic schools . Dont you just lovem ?
I have a parent teacher confrenece coming up next week. Might be good idea to video tape it. Submit it to “Parents gone wild”
micky2
December 11, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
Andrew W.K., pwnt by birthday balloons.
bagel of everything
January 6, 2008 at 5:14 am
[...] indulgence, pokemon, video, youtube by The Bagel of Everything on January 6th, 2008 In honor of Soylent Ape’s birthday, I’m posting his new favorite [...]
Bitches Love Soylent Ape « Ration Reality
January 6, 2008 at 6:11 am
This Bitch loves her some Soylent Ape! Happy Birthday man…hope Bagel does some UNholy things for you today!
Amanda
Stona Lisa
January 6, 2008 at 8:53 am
@ Stona: Thanks for the kind birthday wishes. Spark one in my honor!
@ Bagel: Knowing how much you despise Andrew WK, I appreciate all the AWK videos you had to endure to find this one. Thanks for your sacrifice.
Soylent ape
January 6, 2008 at 10:37 am
Stona;
I hope Soy does find something hole-e. ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL Night long !
Happy birthday dude. Its been a sincere pleasure to meet you.
micky2
January 6, 2008 at 10:50 am
Thanks, Micky! Same here, man.
Soylent ape
January 6, 2008 at 11:54 am
Happy Birthday!
LOL Heathen
January 6, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Thanks, LOL Heathen! Thanks for selecting my entry as winner of the Christmas contest. It’s a honor and I’ll wear my shirt proudly.
Soylent ape
January 7, 2008 at 2:38 am
Happy Late Birthday, Ape. I was too busy screwing with the Christians to get a card out. I really should have spent an extra day creating FedEx. BTW, instead I spent that extra day creating things like fire ants and premature ejaculation. See, I do have a sense of humor.
God
January 7, 2008 at 11:52 am
[...] come along to celebrate the females with a little more to love! (Nearly 2/3 of Americans, including yours truly, are overweight– a clear majority. It’s about time the popular culture–if [...]
Band of the Month: The Chubby Chasers « Ration Reality
January 8, 2008 at 12:57 pm
[...] Gif’s Soylent Ape has fapped [...]
The 12 most useless lists of all time « Ration Reality
April 11, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Yo Soy,
Does this remind you of anyone? (scroll down)
The Bagel of Everything
May 7, 2008 at 10:26 pm
[...] of film I’ve just had developed. If you zoom really tight on the first window you can see Soylent Ape’s reflection. Nice tie, [...]
A true entertainment superstore « Ration Reality
May 22, 2008 at 4:39 am
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December 6, 2008 at 4:44 pm