Ration Reality

Fun with Charles Manson quotes! 

The wacky words of Charles Manson, taken to literal extremes with really poor photo manipulation.

I’m the pope. I’m ten times the pope. I’m sixty times the pope.
But I’m the pope in the hills and in the mountains. (more…)

No, I’m not talking about the unspeakably-talented Canadian prog rock trio passing plates for the teary-eyed Arka-nois Yorker. I’m talking about someone far less probable than that! Earlier this week, the man known as the Godfather of Conservative Talk Radio upset the natural order of the universe by hinting he may raise funds for the very un-conservative Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. Quick! Someone seance Douglas Adams, because I think someone has finally perfected the Infinite Improbability Drive. How else could we arrive at the moment when Rush Limbaugh would be willing to toss Hillary’s financial salad without the use of blunt-force cranial trauma or drug-induced hypnosis? (more…)

“I give handjobs for money, but I’d do it for free”

“I married a black woman to prove I’m not racist”

“I’m sleeping with my son’s wife” 

Admit it, you love PostSecret. You read it everyday. You wish you had a dirty little secret to share. Most people just aren’t that interesting. For many of us, that’s our biggest secret.

“I’m normal”

Good luck getting that on the front page. Fear not, my boring friends. We here at RationReality believe you are just as worthy of voyeurism as those filthy sin-mongers. To that end, we present: Lame Secrets.

I had soup today. (thx, anonymous contributor) (more…)

ЯR   February’s Official Band: Six String Sonics, The   ЯR  

One day, guitarist/producer Gil Kuno woke up, looked at a guitar and thought to himself, “This instrument is far too conventional” and set himself to change it.

Ultimately, he arrived at the solution: instead of one player with a six-string guitar, he’d arrange to have six players, each with his/her own single-string guitar, tuned in the same configuration as a standard electric guitar. This results in weird, disjointed tunes that are much less chord-driven and packed with odd, layered melodic runs. Now, most musical revolutionaries would be satisfied with creating music quirky enough to make Kraftwerk say, “Damn, dude!”. However, this wasn’t enough for Gil Kuno. In order to make the project even more bizarre, he’d grab members of some of Japan’s biggest alternative/avant garde bands to play the instruments (which include the 6 1-string guitars, electronic drums and a two-story electric bass which requires 2 people to play). Not weird enough for you yet? Well, it wasn’t for Kuno, either… (more…)

Our homeboy Frontier Former Editor wrote this for us.

Programmed for love, she can be quite tender…

God love the Japanese–at least it’s not tentacle sex.

One Japanese company is striving to meet the future demand for sex dolls that don’t require air pumps or inhuman lung capacity. (more…)

Dear Cat,

My bedroom doesn’t smell badly enough. I’d really like it if you could find time to defecate next to my bed more often. Also, please be sure to scratch in the litter real loud while I’m sleeping, if you’d be so kind. To facilitate this, I’ve bought you a lovely nightstand-cum-litterbox.

Your loyal servant,

Bagel (more…)

Frustrating as they may be, there are some questions that every human being struggles with. We struggle to find satisfactory answers to queries like: “Who am I?”, “Why are we here?” and “Why do Caucasian office workers in business attire seem so funny to people when they act gangsta?” (more…)

Our beloved incoming searches.

time travel mongoloid <- Ok, that’s the title of my next book.
womens forced hair cutt
How to get your wife to screw a girl <- stuff her with peanut butter. No, wait…that’s for a dog.
safe for work porn
learn me fisting
origination of the clap terminology for <- Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!
rick is the ruler of the world
how rapists feel <- with their penises, I think
when we want your opinion we’ll give it <- There’s a character limit on our stats. I figure it ends with “in the ass”
pics animals sucking on womens breasts <- someone has an orphaned litter of pups to feed.
pete doherty bitch nigga (more…)

Charles Dickens’ Day, I thought you would never arrive.

For years, my family and I have celebrated CDD together. February 7, 2008 will mark the first CDD without them, as my parents both passed in an unfortunate car accident last July. My sister and I have looked forward to CDD since the funeral, as it gives us a chance to celebrate what made our family different from most and to carry on the traditions our parents taught us.

We would always start the day with scrambled eggs, and the process of procuring the eggs from the carton was what made it special. As a nod to Sydney Carton, as each egg was taken from the carton of eggs, we would say, “It is a far, far better egg that I scramble, than I have ever scrambled; it is a far, far better breakfast that I make, than I have ever made.” (more…)

Pardonnez-moi, monsieur. Je ne l’ai pas fait exprès.
(Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose.)
Last words of Marie Antoinette

I made this a few months ago. It’s wrong and I’m sorry. (more…)