Ration Reality

Books that Exist: Rejuvenation and Unveiled Hidden Phenix

Posted in books, books that exist, eastern philosophy, engrish, japan, wtf by The Bagel of Everything on March 8th, 2008

 

Rejuvenation and Unveiled Hidden Phenix:
Carlos Castaneda Shamanism Plus Alpha After His Death

(Yes, that’s Phenix. WTF is a phenix? Is that anything like a phoenix?)

 Hiroyuki Nishigaki is the author of four books in Japanese, including How to Attain Silent Knowledge. A female inorganic ally gave the author the ability of space travel at age of 10 and 56. His first space travel was at the age of 56.

Check out these excerpts:  (more…)

In Japan, Coffee has You!

Posted in japan, news, video, world, youtube by The Bagel of Everything on March 7th, 2008


Japanese bathe in chocolate, wine, tea, and coffee.

Related posts: Japanese are strange people - Exercise Might Save Your Life 
Urine my Way -  Programmed for love, she can be quite tender

Hey, sorry about that whole lockdown thing

Posted in college, crime, idiots, news, north carolina by Soylent Ape on March 6th, 2008

Boone, NC– An Appalachian State University student admitted that he lied about an alleged armed robbery that disrupted nearly the entire campus for the better part of a day.  Matthew Haney, a 22-year old English major, came clean about his mistruth on Tuesday, after reporting an armed burglary at his residence a day earlier.

With the hair-triggered environment surrounding most colleges after the Virginia Tech massacre last year, the report of a nearby armed gunman shut down the entire campus, sent alerts to students and flooded the grounds with law enforcement officers. The student reported that he returned to his off-campus apartment to find an armed n’er-do-well pilfering his television. He described the non-existent suspect as being a white male in a “black Pink Floyd shirt” with a dark ski mask and “small black handgun”. (more…)

Band of the Month: Where’s Moo

Posted in band of the month, california, contributors, dvnt, indie, music by rationrealitycontributor on March 5th, 2008

This month’s BotM was written for us by Deviant. Thanks, handsome.

ЯR   March’s Official Band: Where’s Moo   ЯR 

 

Band Of The Month: Where’s Moo
or
Get Those Damn Kids Off My Lawn

Maybe it was the shots of Fernet–a digestif drink popular in San Francisco–or it could have been the heavy pot billowing from my mouth, but the music playing on Michael Mangum’s computer sounded aurally pungent, like a mix of the familiar with the futuristic, the dystopian future with the familiar rocking past. I was blown away by the guitars seemingly playing power ballads in slow motion, with a lead singer who sounded like a young Michael Stipe.

“Hey…this is pretty good. Who is this?”

“It’s me,” Michael replied with a grin on his face.

Apparently the dope was great because I’d forgotten that he’d gotten up to play his music to me. I was understandably red-faced. (more…)

The Amyl KnightRider

Posted in amyl nitrite, david hasselhoff, drugs, funny photos, knightrider, nsfw by The Bagel of Everything on March 2nd, 2008

I was bored so I made this. I made this because I was bored.


Amyl Knightrider
If you huffed poppers all day, you’d talk to your car, too.

Base images: 1,2,3,4

 Related posts: Tom Corbett: Amyl Nitrite - Fucking Hoffstyle - I love the Danza -  420 in Poohville

I know why the caged commie sings

Posted in child abuse, news, russia, world by The Bagel of Everything on February 29th, 2008

A 7 year old boy has been rescued from his cage in Kirovsky, Volgograd, after being raised as a bird by his coo-coo 31 year old mother. The woman kept pet birds and fed wild ones, but that was apparently not enough. She put her son in a cage and raised him as a bird.

(The) woman neither beat him nor left him without food. She just never talked to him. It was all the birds that communicated with the boy and taught him birds’ language.  (Pravda)

(more…)

Bizarre Commercials, vol 4 - Different Drummer

Posted in advertising, britain, commercials, humor, world, youtube by Soylent Ape on February 27th, 2008

British Chocolate Bar Ad

It’s a phenomenon that started last year, when British chocolatier Cadbury plunked down over $12 million to have the Fallon ad agency create a viral video campaign for their Dairy Milk bar (that’s kind of like “milk chocolate”, only British). Well, they got what they paid for, thanks to macro lenses, clever editing and the most famous drum fill in the history of popular music. (more…)

Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Nazi, and Walt

Posted in art, disney, hitler, news, world by The Bagel of Everything on February 26th, 2008

 A Norwegian museum directer has found 4 sketches of Disney characters, signed AH. The man says the writing matches handwriting samples of Adolf Hitler; He further claims that Hitler worked for Disney. Did Hitler doodle Pinocchio?

This story sounds like a gag from the pages of The Onion, but it’s true — and the evidence that they are works of Hitler’s evil hand is compelling: (more…)

Sentenced To Love

Posted in crime, news, original art, relationships, society, west virginia by Soylent Ape on February 25th, 2008

Congratulations! You're a douche!

Wheeling, WV– For those cynics among us who say that romance is dead comes this heartwarming story of felonies, nuptials and… awkward irony.

On September 5, Mr. Kevin Felder robbed the Wheeling Island Convenience Store, an idiotic feat, especially for someone planning soon to wed. Well, the heist netted him $340, which would have been enough for a honeymoon in, say, exotic Youngstown or hire that DJ for the reception. Did I mention his bad decision was a violation of his probation? Probation resulting from a domestic violence trial involving his bride-to-be? Well, it was. Earlier this month, Felder was sentenced to 5-18 years imprisonment for his actions. But that’s not where the story ends, for there, inside the the Ohio County courthouse, love would rule the day! (more…)

It’s Foamy the motherfuckin Squirrel, bitch!

Posted in cartoons, dark humor, foamy, pop culture, youtube by The Bagel of Everything on February 23rd, 2008

Neurotically Yours is a cartoon series featuring Foamy the Squirrel. It’s the best cartoon in the world; If you don’t agree, you are wrong and should harm yourself immediately.

 
A beginner’s guide to being a bitch-hermit (more…)