The worst thing on youtube
The Doggie-Style Diet
Blogging every day has decimated my creativity. While I await the return of last year’s burning inspiration, I’ve hotwired the wayback machine, in search of things I wrote before RationReality.
In ’02, I began playing on HalfBakery.com – a site where you present your ideas that could almost (but not quite) solve important problems — under the name Skyloo. You might also recognize the nick from pre-y2k Undernet. I mostly lurked on HB, but I did write a few things. This was my fave: (more…)
25cents: a big handfull
I love it when stickers talk dirty to me.
VendingLabels.com is the most unintentionally awesome site I’ve seen in a while. The site looks like a pre-Web2.0 attempt at professionalism (except that it plays music at you — I hate that.) You gotta love those pretentious Yahoo Domains templates.
They sell stickers for vending machines, but I think just maybe they’re missing a whole demographic. People like stickers. (more…)
Belfast pizzaria sues food critic
Irish Pizzaria’s Libel Award Against Food Critic Overturned.
Belfast–The proprietor of an Irish restaurant who won a libel suit against a newspaper has seen his award overturned by The Court of Appeal in Northern Ireland. Lord Chief Justice Sir Brian Kerr overturned the lower court’s ruling, which had become a landmark case among the UK press.
More than 7 years ago, restaurant critic Caroline Workman reviewed Goodfellas restaurant for The Irish News. Her commentary on the Goodfellas dining experience was less-than-flattering, referring to the eatery as “joyless” and “smoky”. Scathing! Some others of Workman’s assertaions: “The staff have no more time to be involved with their customers than those in a motorway cafe” and “Our main courses arrived in as much time as it took the chef in view to rip open three blue industrial-size bags of processed cheese.” (more…)
You sank my Ball Buster
… for adults, it’s exciting!
(thx, lolheathen)
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Exhibitionism with Tom Corbett
The South(ern Suburb) Rises Again
Military Relics Dealers are the New Meth Labs
Nearly 150 years after it ended, the American Civil War has most likely claimed its final casually. In mid-February, a loud blast echoed through the city of Chester, VA. Following the concussion, police found Samuel H. White, aged 53, dead in his backyard. Later, they learned that White was a Civil War relic dealer whose inventory included various munitions, including high caliber bullets, cannonballs and even artillery shells. Mr. White was apparently attempting to disarm a Civil War-era shell when it went off. White’s website (currently offline, but archives are available here), stated White had disabled some 500 Civil War rounds for sale “and (I) still have all my fingers (I must be doing something right, knock on wood)!” (more…)
Real cities in China, that I just made up
Dear China,
You have a few odd names for cities (Likwang, Hangzhou, Fuxin, Fuku), but mostly they’re stupid, boring, and hard to pronounce. You’re missing out on a huge tourist demographic: smart-assed Americans.
We Americans love making fun of China. We love cities with fucked up names. We have endless wealth. Our tourism can make or break your country. Just look what we’ve done for Bangkok! Do you think Thailand would have such an enviable industry of child sex slaves and black-market DVDs if Americans didn’t love saying ‘Bangkok’? Hell no!
To help you find popularity with our superior western culture, Deviant and I have come up with a list of new names for your favorite tourist-ready cities. (more…)
Tax Hike for Jim Jones
County Assessor Hikes Resident’s Tax Value.
Property Owner Alleges Selective Retaliation.
Morgantown, WV– A property owner claims his recent assessment and property tax hike is unfair. Well, most of us would be prone to think that. However, this particular tax increased from $300 to nearly $4,700, or over 1,500%. Also, it happened shortly after Monongalia county Chief Deputy Assessor Bill Perry allegedly offered to buy the property and was turned down. (more…)
Baseball Team Looks to Fat Guys to Save Franchise
MLB Team Thinks Fat Male Cheerleaders will Bring in the Fans!
Miami– So, you have a team with a championship history, a growing home city with several major sports franchises with which to compete and the lowest attendance in the league. If you were part of the management braintrust charged with turning the team around, what would you do? Angle to trade for a “big name” player? Involve your players in various high-profile community activitities? Well, if you’re calling the shots for the Florida Marlins, you already have the answer!
The Marlins have put out the call for a highly-skilled, military drill-precision company of portly guys to act as cheerleaders. Ba-da Bing! Why didn’t I think of this when I was GM of the Pirates? (The Blanton Middle School Pirates, that is.) I always say, “Nothing puts butts in $85 seats on blisteringly-hot, stiflingly humid days like sweaty guys with beer guts doing a coordinated dance number to “Who Let the Dogs Out”! (more…)
