Television Wrap-Up for 6/12: FOX’s ‘On The Lot’ and ‘House’
First off, I’d like to correct a bit of errata from yesterday’s TV Wrap-up of Big Love. It turns out that Waterworld was in fact completely irredeemable, as Jeanne Tripplehorn’s ass actually belonged to a body double. That said, however, it was still a very nice ass, and as an apology, I’d like to post a link to various other body parts of hers which were quite uncovered in Basic Instinct. When I’m wrong, I admit it, and I’ll step up to the plate and post a correction when it’s something crucial like this.
Now for the meat of the two shows. We’ll hit House first, and since it was a rerun, I’ll be quick about it.
House, Episode 54 “Son of Coma Guy.” Original airdate: 11/2006
This is a show from relatively early on in the season that just ended. It’s the first one in the whole drama about House ripping off Wilson’s prescription pad, etc. Good story arc, and Hugh Laurie does some great work in it. The real standout in this episode is the guest star, John Laroquette, playing a remarkably lively coma victim. Laroquette is really quite good at sarcastic humor, and he and Hugh Laurie play off each other very well. It’s too bad he can’t be a recurring guest … but hey, his death has a purpose in the context of the show, and it proves the old adage: ‘the quickest way to a man’s heart is straight through the ribcage.’
On The Lot, Episode 9
This show sucks. It fucking sucks. I would rather watch badly dubbed reruns of Cagney and Lacey on fucking Telemundo than watch another episode of On The Lot. God, however, will not allow me to do this, and forces me into continual mortification of the flesh as I claw at my eyes every time this show comes on.
Dirty, dirty hamster
I’m a geek. I make lolcat pics.
I’ve been sitting on a stockpile of ‘em since ICHC’s beta started up. Now that TCF Lolcat builder is open to the public, I’m going to start throwin’ some of my fantabulous creations at you…the ones that weren’t quite polite enough for ichc.
im in ur cagez - sodomizin ur brother
Share code: To share this picture with the world, copy the code in the box, paste it into blogs, forums, ect.
-bagel
Television Wrap-Up for 6/11: HBO’s Big Love Season Premiere
Tonight was the premiere episode of season two of HBO’s hit drama Big Love. They brought it back for a second season, so it couldn’t have done too badly.
For those who don’t know what it’s all about, Big Love follows the lives of a polygamist family in Utah. Bill Paxton stars as the husband, and his wives are Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloe Sevigny, and Ginnifer Goodwin. (Notable prior roles for Paxton include Aliens and Twister, Tripplehorn’s lovely bare ass was the only bright spot in Waterworld, and Goodwin played Johnny Cash’s first wife in Ring of Fire. Sevigny, of course, was dropped by her agent gained notoriety for actually no-shit swallowing a load of Vincent Gallo’s demon seed on camera in The Brown Bunny.) Harry Dean Stanton returns in his role as Roman Grant, who plays a cross between Warren Jeffs and David Koresh, with an even bigger box of crazy poured on top of it. Biggest difference: his compound isn’t quite so fortified. He’s also the father of Sevigny’s character.
One of these superfriends is lying
Can you spot the liar?
News that matters:
icanhascheezburger.com has finally released The Cheezburger Factory!!
Jesse and my Bagelicious self were proud to be part of the beta testing group.
In the words of our fearless cheezleader:
We created a little tool to submit photos directly to ICHC.We call it The Cheezburger Factory.
We had a awesome team of private beta testers (Team 42) who provided a lot of useful feedback.
The private beta is now opened up to the public.
So go make your own lolcats! More importantly, dig through the archives and vote for ours!
-bagel
Late Breaking News:
We are the top google result for Communal baths - Germany
Hey Young World - Slick Rick The Ruler
Indeed I am the one and lonely J. Eugenius Wilson. I like snakes. I’m 32. I’m a Cap. I love to love to love love…
None of that is true. Except the two in the middle. The truth is I’m evil. I’m habitually sarcastic, cynical and just plain mad.
I’m a Musico, as they say in Mejico. I’m double jointed. I’m a DJ. I’m DJ Double Jointed. I do Bat Mitzvahs. Exclusively.
I live in the greatly over-rated northwest. Don’t come here. It smells funny. Like burnt oatmeal cookies.
I’m under exclusive contract to Ration Reality.
We’re like Foreigner. But way less sucky. Despite what your hipster fuck friends might say…
I love you all like every good Jewish boy loves his mother… angrily.
-Jody Eugenius Wilson
Sopranos Series Finale - Update
Fuck you, David Chase.
For eight years you’ve dragged us along on this story. Eight years. Eight fucking years. Eight years covered me being in college, my military service, two fucking marriages, and this show lasted longer than all of that. And it was a good time, I loved it. Watched it religiously.
The series finale was great. I loved seeing Leotardo get his head smushed. The prick that projectile vomited, that was brilliant. Loved how the FBI agent finally came over to the dark side.
But still, the ending. Fuck you, David Chase.
After eight fucking years, you end it like this? (more…)
How to be a failure
How to: Be a failure!
You’ve probably seen them: the miserable wage slaves, the crushed non-starters, the people whom we can tell have abandoned any vestige of hope. Indeed, failures are all around us! You’ve probably even asked yourself “how can I become so miserably put-upon, myself?” Well, your days of asking are over, because becoming a failure can be done in just four simple steps
Step 1. Get off to a good start by setting your expectations (and the expectations of those around you) very high! (After all, failure cannot exist without the potential for success.) Get good grades. Excel in extracurricular activities. Provide every reason to believe that you have the intelligence and determination to be a huge success in any endeavor you may choose to undertake.
Mr. Fluff Must Die!
Our first comic. Be nice, or Bagel will hurt me.
Also, check us out at The WebComic List, and make sure to click the link back to us! Help us climb the ratings ladder!
-random- -comic- -submit- -technorati- -del.icio.us- -digg it!-
RationReality: The final domain
I am now a we and we have a new domain!
The former url bagelofeverything.wordpress.com will still get you here, but updating your bookmarks and links to the new url will help us tons and tons. I promise we probably won’t move again.
We’ll be changing everything around over the weekend, so expect an extra bit of weirdness.
Why the change?
If anyone cared, that’s what I’d expect them to ask.
I, your all encompassing bread product, have teamed up with three of the most intelligent, funniest, weirdest men I know.
Soylent Ape, a smooth-talkin, pimp-walkin rock critic with a stack of business degrees.
Jesse Custer, space-opera writin’, cyberart outlaw.
Jody Eugenius Wilson, a kosher, recording scientist who is not allowed, by law, to own a gun.
We now have our very own comic!
The first strips are nearly ready and will be posted soon.
So our humor sweatshop is now fully staffed, and will soon begin cranking out its low quality comedy knockoffs for export up your interwebs.
- the bagel of everything
You like me, you really like me!
I’m now certain that wordpress is out to get me.
My format was lovely when I typed it all up in notepad.
Yesterday, technofuckme alerted me to new link-love for my little corner of wordpress. I don’t normally care about that sort of thing, because I’m a huge filthy liar. :)
So I clicked, and read, and commented, like a good little whore. Here’s what was written about little ol me:
OH! and here’s a blog I think everyone should be reading… It’s called “the Bagel of Everything” and this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read!
Yesterday, my friend Roger crashed his motorcycle.
Everyone is upset about it, sending flowers and casseroles to his family and such.
I don’t get what the big deal is. It wasn’t a very nice motorcycle.HAHAH! That’s hilarious! (she was kidding, by the way). Go check out her blog!
– pants-and-fire.livejournal.com
Dude, I’m honored and all, but “the funniest thing I’ve ever read!” ??
Um, did you just learn to read?As much as I enjoy (require) such accolades, I feel it is my duty to open your mind to the funny. Let’s start with baby steps, shall we? (more…)
