Ration Reality

 Since 6th grade, my boyfriends have been wanting to stick it in my pooper. I’ll be the first to admit: I was a slutty adolescent. However, I reached no impossible level of sluttitude that my 13 year old pussy shouldn’t have been adequate, even for the most pencil dicked quarterback. (more…)

 So yesterday, I’m making my daily visits to our blogroll (you people DO actually visit your blogroll links, right?), and I’m commenting and laughing with my bloggy friends. Until I got to P.

Pants and Fire

 I almost fucking died.

I missed half of this video because I was laughing like Michael Vick at a dogfight.

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We love Discouragement Kitten!

Thanks for another blog loan!                                                                    -bagel

Discouragement Kitten

Question:
Advice, Huh? well finaly, someone I can ask!
So, I didn’t technicly have sex with him, cause like that Clinton guy says oral ain’t sex, but I met this guy in a liquor store a few weeks ago, and one thing led to another and I ended up in the back of his van giving him a BJ.

He was almost handsom, sort of, and he hadn’t hit me so he seemed like a nice guy. when he blew his slipery kids a minute later I felt kinda bad about it, and wasn’t sure wether to spit or swallow, so I was just sorta holding it in my mouth trying to decide. Thats when he leand down and kissed me hard. I realy had no other option than to snowball him. he didn’t seem to mind though. Kinda creepy, but kinda hot too.

So anywayz, he returns the favor right after I snowballed him, hiking my skirt up and gnawing on me with enthusiasm. Damn that was hot. I was done a couple times before he quit. Then he handed me $50 and threw me out of the van.

Now I’m not a whore, and never done sex for cash.. not directly anyway. But he seemed to think I was, and it was a free $50 so I didn’t argue with him. besides, it was Hot!

So now to my problem, its been 2 weeks, and I ain’t gotten none since then what didn’t run on batteries, but I didn’t start bleeding on time, and now I’m craving Anchovie Icecream and Chedder cheese on my cheerios.Could he have gotten me pregnate by goind down on me after I snowballed him? I’d sure hate to blow that $50 on paying Miguel Sanchez to scrape out some pre-rug rat out of my coochie.

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Maybe the best thing EVER!

http://thebricktestament.com       <– Update again: It’s back up now! YAY!

Bible stories, illustrated with Lego blocks.

Here are some of my favorite photos, taken delightfully out of context:

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Michael Jackson’s Thriller, as performed by inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center in the Philippines. Including one shemale with male pattern baldness.

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Washington, D. C. police and an extremely cordial family are perplexed by an event that took place just blocks from the seat of American government, wherein an intruder came for the home invasion but stayed for the lo-o-o-ove. 

On June 16, an armed adult male came upon a group of friends eating on the patio of an upscale D. C. residence in the Capital Hill neighborhood.  The intruder ever-so-swifly put a gun to the temple of a 14 year-old girl and announced, “Give me your money, or I’ll start shooting.”  It was about that time that one of the guests replied, “We were just finishing dinner.  Why don’t you have a glass of wine with us.” 

The would-be hostage-taker took a glass of Château Malescot St. Exupery and complimented, “Damn, that’s good wine!” (Which, I believe was the exact comment the Bourdeux Wine Official Classifications board used when they classified it as a Second Growth label.) 

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All our original comics are filed here.

Alright kids. We got us a contribution from a real live gay person! Don’t be afraid, my friends. In many ways, teh gheys are much like real people. Except for that whole sodomizing our children thing.

I read Deviant’s highly offensive blog several times a week.  This entry had me laying on the floor gasping for air. LOTFGFA?! There’s an acronym that’ll never catch on…

You did hear about the Isaiah Washington controversy, right?

-bagel

Deviant

Y hello der! This be am Isaiah Washington, ex-star of Grey’s Anatomy…

Now now now lookee here. I knows I frightens you with my big black booming black voice, but do nots be afraids, I nots gonna kill you!

I was a victim! I be bamboozled!

I’s here to shoot some brief shit with youse, seeings as how Deviant be too lazy to write now, on account o’ his too busy sucking them cock, faggot!

Oh noes, I didn’t mean to call him a faggot cuz he gay! I meant faggots meaning happy!

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A joke tampon commercial by Gwar. You don’t need warned that it’s disgusting, right?

-bagel loves GWAR!!

And I’m not telling!

[/gloat mode]

Only thing I’ll say about it is this: Rowling said that two characters died that she’d expected to live, and one lived that she’d expected to die. I won’t say who dies, but I will say this much: most people seem to be thinking that only two major characters die. Y’all might want to re-read her statements. Nowhere does she restrict herself to only killing off two of her characters …

But wow. Hot damn. It was a good book.

*************** EDIT: 13 AUGUST 2007 ****************

Ok, the book’s been out for a few weeks now.  If you don’t know the ending yet, well, I’m going to spoil it.  HARRY LIVES.  Fred Weasley, Mad-Eye Moody, Hedwig, Lupin, Tonks, Crabbe, and Colin Creevey die.

Quit searching for things that are no longer relevant.  Get a life.

We now return to our previously-written content.

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