Jesus Gave My Pee Pee a Mouth Hug
If Discouragement Kitten wasn’t a girl, and also a kitten, I’d make sweet sweet snowballs with him/her/it. If you folks aren’t reading DK’s blog, I don’t think I like you anymore.
Question:
i have a recuring fantasy where I am being raped by jesus while mohammad is holding my legs apart. Vishnu and Buddha are taking pictures for their sick site dirtybitch.com. I feel useless and spent after it is over but at the same time scarily aroused by the fact all these gods (or their prophets) want my man bits.
am i gay/wrong for this?
Answer:
Dear Wrong Gayman:
I don’t know if you’re gay, but you’re definitely wrong – and not for the reasons you think. Really, this fantasy is all screwed up and lacks basic elements of creativity, surprise and logic. You have the characters in roles they don’t belong in – everything – from the top down is just a gayfuckingmess.
First of all, lets discuss the positions you’ve slotted your prophets into.
Jesus – Rapist
Mohammed – Accomplice to rape – forcefully holding your legs apart
Vishnu/Buddha – Pornographic photographers
Jesus was a turn the other ass cheek kinda guy. Mohammed is more action oriented – you could swing it around having Jesus hold your legs (this is a more passive aggressive action – I think much more inline with the psychology of Jesus. I mean really – the turn the other cheek mentality really is just a mechanism for making the person that’s committed an injustice towards you feel bad.) Mohammed would probably be more inclined towards penetration in this fantasy – he could impregnate you with Islam if you will. Read the rest of this entry »
Real Life Superheroes: Superhero’s Podcast, featuring Jesse
Ok, first off, here’s the link.
The topic of the show was citizen’s arrests, etc. The show was only scheduled to run for 15 minutes, but we ran a bit over. It should all be in the podcast. There’s a lot of … well, I suppose it’s good information if you care about citizen’s arrests, etc. The fun stuff starts about 12-13 minutes in, when Master Legend calls in. You can find out why he is legally barred from contact with tortoises!
Superhero is a pretty interesting guy to talk to. I encourage all y’all to listen to his show. It’s interesting, articulate, and occasionally it’s even funny.
It’s really just like a chocolate craving
As our faithful readers know, we at RR are moderatly entertained by incomming searches. I often google the more interesting ones myself. I suppose it’s ego-surfing for bloggers. When a search came in for “crack reality”, I had to check it out. Alas, we were not the number one google result. Something much better was.
CrackReality.com’s list of Things Crackheads Say!
A little find/replace action and we’ve got:
RationReality.com’s list of Things Bloggers Say!
- “I am using cocaine to wean myself off the blog!! You just do not understand!”
- “When you say blog it sounds so bad, that’s why I call it coke”.
- “That’s all in the past now; I realized I could either have you or blogs, and I love you too much to lose you”
- “You know, I don’t say anything about that Paxil you take. It’s the same thing. Your addicted to Paxil.”
- “I am the king”
- “There is someone in the bushes again”
- “Get this straight: I am a blog addict. But I am not a blog head. Believe it or not, there is a difference.”
- “I don’t have sex with the women. We just blog together.”
- “It’s really just like a chocolate craving”
- “It’s not a physical addiction.”
- “I just have to go there one more time, just to say good-bye to my friends.” Read the rest of this entry »
Flying High Again
That’s Twelve Small Steps for a Man, One Giant Embarrassment for NASA!
For those who always believed that astronauts had the coolest jobs in the world, here’s more fodder for you: The online edition of the journal Aviation Week & Space Technology reported incidents where astronauts flew while intoxicated. Read the rest of this entry »
The Fantastic Voyage of Billy The Bullet
One free internet to anyone who’ll transcribe this for me.
I think it’s supposed to be anti-gun, but it just makes me want to shoot people, so my bullets can play.
Soy says it needs more funny. Jesse just got pissed off. I lol’d!
What do you think?
Update: The public has spoken!
Dear fucking God! I love this guy!
Kill your TV! Watch JohnnyTV!
-bagel
Ration Reality Word of the Week: CILF
What’s a CILF? This is a CILF:
Her name is Laura. She’s a pretty girl, isn’t she?
Charity Orgy at the Aids Factory: Film at 10
Big Gay Pride Orgy, tonight 10pm.
Admission is $20, but if you’re hott I imagine you can get your STDs for free. All profits go to charity, naturally.
Check out this email I got from an equally disgusted anonymous source, who also informs me that the building is known to locals as “The Aids Factory”, inspired by its lovely graffiti.
Pedophilia: funny, or just plain wrong?
Discouragement Kitten made this. Her lolcats are always so much more offensive than mine. I love DK. If you use myspace, go make friends with her, and leave her a comment. She will send you her lolcats.
While you’re on myspace, go add RationReality too!
But first: READ THIS! Our good buddy Deviant has written an article that might just be too offensive to post on RationReality. I never thought that day would come. I would sooo touch him where he pees.
-bagel
