Ration Reality

Recently, I came across the MySpace of Black Metal Comics. Having not been a fan of either Black Metal or comic books for some time now, I don’t know what made me stick around to look at them. I’m glad, though, because it was well-drawn, well-written and well-presented. Oh, and it’s spot-fucking-on in its portrayal of being a metalhead in today’s society–especially one that wears corpse paint!

My Space allowed Black Metal’s co-creators Rick Spears and Chuck BB to do a featured guest Blog. The subject: their Personal Top 5 Most Metal Moments. This inspired a quick trip through my own sordid history of metallic mayhem.

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Ok, first off, here’s the link.

The topic of the show was citizen’s arrests, etc.  The show was only scheduled to run for 15 minutes, but we ran a bit over.  It should all be in the podcast.   There’s a lot of … well, I suppose it’s good information if you care about citizen’s arrests, etc.  The fun stuff starts about 12-13 minutes in, when Master Legend calls in.  You can find out why he is legally barred from contact with tortoises!

Superhero is a pretty interesting guy to talk to.  I encourage all y’all to listen to his show.  It’s interesting, articulate, and occasionally it’s even funny.

As our faithful readers know, we at RR are moderatly entertained by incomming searches. I often google the more interesting ones myself. I suppose it’s ego-surfing for bloggers.  When a search came in for “crack reality”, I had to check it out. Alas, we were not the number one google result. Something much better was.

CrackReality.com’s list of Things Crackheads Say!

A little find/replace action and we’ve got:

RationReality.com’s list of Things Bloggers Say!

• “I am using cocaine to wean myself off the blog!! You just do not understand!”
• “When you say blog it sounds so bad, that’s why I call it coke”.
• “That’s all in the past now; I realized I could either have you or blogs, and I love you too much to lose you”
• “You know, I don’t say anything about that Paxil you take.  It’s the same thing. Your addicted to Paxil.”
• “I am the king”
• “There is someone in the bushes again”
• “Get this straight: I am a blog addict.  But I am not a blog head. Believe it or not, there is a difference.”
• “I don’t have sex with the women.  We just blog together.”
• “It’s really just like a chocolate craving”
• “It’s not a physical addiction.”
• “I just have to go there one more time, just to say good-bye to my friends.” (more…)

You people have been slacking.

Submit your work

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That’s Twelve Small Steps for a Man, One Giant Embarrassment for NASA!

For those who always believed that astronauts had the coolest jobs in the world, here’s more fodder for you:  The online edition of the journal Aviation Week & Space Technology reported incidents where astronauts flew while intoxicated. (more…)

One free internet to anyone who’ll transcribe this for me.

I think it’s supposed to be anti-gun, but it just makes me want to shoot people, so my bullets can play.

Soy says it needs more funny. Jesse just got pissed off. I lol’d!

What do you think?

Update: The public has spoken! 

Dear fucking God! I love this guy!

Kill your TV! Watch JohnnyTV!

-bagel

What’s a CILF? This is a CILF:

Her name is Laura. She’s a pretty girl, isn’t she?

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Big Gay Pride Orgy, tonight 10pm.

Admission is $20, but if you’re hott I imagine you can get your STDs for free. All profits go to charity, naturally.

Check out this email I got from an equally disgusted anonymous source, who also informs me that the building is known to locals as “The Aids Factory”, inspired by its lovely graffiti.

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Discouragement Kitten made this. Her lolcats are always so much more offensive than mine. I love DK. If you use myspace, go make friends with her, and leave her a comment. She will send you her lolcats.

While you’re on myspace, go add RationReality too!

But first: READ THIS!  Our good buddy Deviant has written an article that might just be too offensive to post on RationReality. I never thought that day would come. I would sooo touch him where he pees.

-bagel

 Fire Controlman 2nd Class Petty Officer Russell Tavares was sentenced to 7 years imprisonment for taking shit entirely too seriously. 

According to the AP, Tavares drove from Virginia to Texas, to burn down the trailer-home of someone who called him a nerd over the nets.

I’m thinking, he simply misunderstood the term “flame war”.

The victim, John G. Anderson, A.K.A. “crazy ass haunted house guy,” incited Russel’s wrath by posting  ”a digitally altered photo making Tavares look like a skinny boy in high-water pants, holding a gun and a laptop under a Revenge of the Nerds sign“

“Before this happened, the rule was: Nobody messes with the haunted house guy,” Anderson said.

Yeah, dude totally had it commin’. (more…)