Ration Reality

This post was written to focus the power of horny American wankers on a specific humanitarian need: the eradication of world hunger. To date, more than 12 visitors have given in excess of than 300 cups of seminal fluid.

The seminal fluid donated by wanks at Ration Reality is distributed to those in need by The Boxing Bishops and Chicken Chokers’ Network. 100% of spume collected goes to hungry women and children across the globe.

All of us here at RR are also deeply moved by the humanitarian efforts by the Japanese adult film industry.

Hunger: Do you know the facts? (more…)

It starts a little slow, but stay with it for the WTFness.

This is based on a short story, which can be read here: Mark Twain - The Mysterious Stranger

Cody Logan are make fun of us for posting youtubes. :( 

My favorite urban legend: 

One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DeLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain.

It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. (more…)

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I offered Deviant  an assignment. Can’t believe he actually did it.
      Jesse & Soy, you boys better step up!     -bagel

With modern men and women increasingly branching out into alternate mating lifestyle choices, many women I’ve encountered ((coughBagelcough)) have asked me what it takes for a woman to bed a gay man.

I can’t say I blame women. Gay men clean their asses, work-out, have bigger penises, and have an extra bone in our skulls that make us adept at Language and tongue-action.

I know some of you watched that this scene from The Opposite of Sex

But sadly this isn’t going to happen. You can’t get the hunky gay guy…..hell I can’t even get the hunky gay guy!! Nobody gets him except other hunky gay guys, and they usually get him with Crystal Meth at some gay orgy.

So I begrudgingly will relate to you my tips on how a woman can bed a gay man.

1) Know your gays. (more…)

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 Advice from Discouragement Kitten

Question:
Dear DK,

I have a secret job as an English tutor (Shhh, don’t tell the government!) and I recently started tutoring a guy whose preferred nickname translates badly… he wants me to call him Horse (his real name is something complicated in Korean), but his last name is Hwang. Now, sure I don’t call him “Horse Hwang” every time I talk to him, but the whole phrase sort of hangs in my head whenever I meet up with him and it really makes me want to giggle. Should I mention to him that the nickname sounds dirty in English before he starts using it all over the place or just ignore it and learn to stop snickering to myself about it?

Thanks,
Perturbed by Inoperative Penile Metaphors

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Anyone who’d ever ridden a subway late at night has probably seen that station out in the suburbs where there’s no passengers, no vendors and almost no noise apart from the screeching and rumbling of the trains. Eerie. If you’ve ever had to get off at one of these still, creepy stations, you know the walk to the surface can be an uneasy one. Any creak or clang, every flicker and flash of the dim platform lights bringing us to full alert; readying us for fight or flight. (more…)

People have asked me why I chose WordPress to host our site.
I love WP’s stability!

That’s right folks, in the year 2045, there will be a 30 minute window where I won’t be able to access my account. Short notice indeed!   (more…)

Another exclusive from Deviant!

According to Mollygood, Cindy Crawford’s son was born of the “collective thought-power of every pedophile with a glistening, verboten dream.

If what they say is true, then this would make little Presley a sort of Jesus for Nambla, seeing as how–again according to Mollygood– “Unlike his sister, Kaia, who was born of Cindy’s gilded womb,” Presley was the product of a virgin pedophile birth.

Practically speaking, Presley’s birth is the pedophile equivalent of Anakin Skywalker’s birth, who was born via the sheer will of the Jedi Midi-chlorian glistening verboten dream, with one major caveat, which is that the Jedi’s presumably don’t wish to all simultaneously rape young Anakin.

Someone really should be arrested for all this, but I don’t know who and on what charges.

Related posts:

• Word of the Week: Fursecution
• Pedophilia: funny, or just plain wrong?
• Charity Orgy at the Aids Factory: Film at 10

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