2007 Hipster Olympics
The Scat of Luxury
Dear Amazon.com,
Who the hell is buying these things?
Seriously,
Bagel
Product Features
- Facial Quality 2-ply Paper
- Non-Toxic Gold Ink
- Individually Shrink Wrapped
- Great Gift Idea
- Great for Housewarming Gifts
I have a new lamp
I awoke this morning to find a lamp sitting in my livingroom next to my front door.
It’s kind of a nice lamp, I guess: a white paper lantern on a tall black pole.
Where did it come from? I’ve never seen this lamp in my life. Did I steal it in my sleep? Did I buy it? I’ve not bought a new lamp in like… hell, I’ve never bought a new lamp!
Anyone missing a lamp?
Oh, and kids… The comic is late. Jesse, the artist, has been ill. Goto his page and taunt him. He won’t be able to defend himself for days!
And you thought you had a bad week
We’ve often heard the securities market likened to a wilderness and traders, brokers and such said to be predators. Well, at least one stockbroker knows that’s all bullshit, because no one’s ever died a violent death on the floor of a stock exchange. Well…outside of Pakistan, that is. (more…)
The Wooden Rose
Ever wonder who makes up those urban legends? Our friend Zach Action, that’s who!
One night a cute girl was at a club. She was dancing and having a good time when a very handsome man came up to her. “You are looking hot” he said and they danced. After a while, they started to get closer and then he said “If I don’t kiss you right now I will die.” They kissed and she thought it was the best kiss ever in her life. (more…)
Four Pillars of the Male Heterosexual Psyche
“We’ve turned the internet into an enormous international database of naked bottoms.”
This is why Coupling is my favorite cancelled britcom.
In this clip, Steve is being teased about a vhs tape Lesbian Spank Inferno, which his g/f found in his vcr.
Great googlie mooglie
It’s that time again, kids!
Our favorite incoming searches, this time linked up to the related (?!) posts…
Michael Vick’s dogs get death penalty
Yeah, Vick pulled a plea out of his ass and yeah, I plan to crucify him properly now that he has admitted his guilt and I need no longer presume him innocent. Too bad the charges to which he plead had the least “teeth”. I guess it’s true when they say that you only get the legal defense you can afford. It makes me feel even more sorry for the poor motherfuckers who get sent up because their half-assed PDs were falling asleep or drinking Maker’s Mark from a flask in court.
The upshot of it all is this: Vick admitted guilt to Federal charges of conspiracy to engage in dogfighting activities. This is not the same as saying he actually participated in the fights when they occurred. This being the case, it doesn’t carry the same satisfaction as hearing him say he was actually there drowning and electrocuting dogs that didn’t make the grade. Still, Vick’s “conspiracy” resulted in many dogs being maimed, killed and possibly stolen (many “bait” animals are taken from residences and backyards.) While Vick’s kennels are closed and his dog-fighting ring is (at least partially) broken up, Vick’s “conspiracy” is likely to be the cause of dozens more senseless doggy deaths. Fifty–three dogs seized on Vick’s property are very likely to be put down for being either “unclaimed” or believed to be too dangerous to be adopted. (more…)
The tiniest Santa
The Peepee Teepee for the Sprinkling Weewee:
Santa Hat in Laundry Bag
It’s a Santa hat for your infant’s penis. Honest. (more…)
TLDR Biographies: Thomas Edison
A contribution from the mind of ZachAction. All of RationReality is one collective screaming ZA fangirl!
Thomas Edison holds like ten million patents. BFD. Oooh, he created lightbulbs. Well guess what, GOD created light, and what credit does He get? That’s not even my point. Don’t get me started on God’s lack of props.
Anyway, Thomas Edison was A) a racist, B) a pedophile, and C) an alcoholic. I could have invented the telegraph too if I had enough sex with minors. (more…)
