Ration Reality

Ya’ll remember the photochop challenge in the It’s 420 in Poohville post?
I’ll be damned if we don’t just got ourselves a winner!

Tigger’s Tiggerific Methlab by Frontier Former Editor
Props to Keywork for the inspiration.

DELUXE JESUS ACTION FIGURE
Won’t He be pleased! (more…)

 Everyone’s favorite dirty, dirty monkey, Deviant, has written a !WORD! so
satirically beautiful, Johnathan Swift has surely creamed in his coffin.

The word for this week is blepharoplasty, or as I like to refer to it: correcting nature’s mistakes.

Asian-Blepharoplasty is a form of cosmetic surgery that is taking the yellow continent of Asia by storm. It is the most sophisticated answer for sufferers of Epicanthal Folds.

As defined by Wikipedia:

…the presence of the epicanthal fold can be a symptom of fetal alcohol syndrome, chromosomal disorders such as Down syndrome (Trisomy 21) Cri du Chat syndrome, or pre-term birth…or simply being Chinese.

…my buddy’s head had rolled clean off his shoulder like a watermelon rolling off a market perch…the naked gook woman emerged violently from the wet jungle. I reached for my rifle, but she was too quick. In one alarming move the girl threw herself at me, sobbing and covered in blood, as if the weight of the musky morning had trampled on her…

Oh! I’m sorry, that was just a ‘Nam flashback!

I know what you’re thinking, “but its simply not fair Kevin. As a non-retarded Asian person, what can I do to correct my hideous God-awful eyes?” (more…)

I awoke this morning looking old.

I’m not one of those 30 year old women who are always saying they look old.
If anything, I complain too often that I look like a child.

But damn!

Always the thinker, I have a plan: (more…)

You can’t swing a chain without hitting a lawyer in the United States of America today. Yet, the nation’s Law Schools keep cranking them out. Consequently, in order to create a healthy career for themselves, lawyers are being forced to get creative. (more…)

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Advice from Discouragement Kitten

Question:
Dear Discouragement Kitten:

I have a MySpace etiquette question I would like to ask you. If your “friend” has a profile song that you really really like, is it rude to put the same song on your own profile? And if so, is there a statute of limitation, with when passing, said act would no longer be considered rude or “biting”?

Sincerely,

Manners confused

Answer:
Dear Manners confused:

What the fuck ever gave you the idea that I’d be a good source for proper fucking etiquette?  Is my blog titled Dear Fucking Manners Kitten?  No, it’s Schadenfreude - (more…)

…and reduce crime.

That’s the punchline Philadelphia Police Commissioner Sylvester Johnson is hoping for.

“It’s time for African-American men to stand up,” Johnson told PhillyDailyNews. “We have an obligation to protect our women, our children and our elderly. We’re going to put men on the street.”

A key architect of the strategy is Dennis Muhammad, chief of security for Nation of Islam Minister Louis Farrakhan, because everyone feels safer around muslim activists. (more…)

 Dear Chrysler,

On Wednesday, September 12, 2007, I was checking the MySpace page I maintain for this website, when a Google AdSense advertisement caught my eye. It seems we can learn more about the genocide in Darfur, and perhaps even help save the lives of children by buying a new Chrysler. (more…)