Dear Pulsing Wad of Anal Mucous Excretion
Advice from Discouragement Kitten
Question:
every time my friend calls me up and we sit down for a beer he gloats for two hours about how much money he makes and how amazing his life is and I go home feeling like shit. DK why do I keep seeing this person?
Answer:
Dear Pulsing Wad of Anal Mucous Excretion:
Obviously this guy is insecure and/or boring. He either desperately wants your approval and believes tales of his awesomeness will sway you to be impressed OR he simply has nothing else to chat about. Why on earth do you give a shit how much money he makes? What impact does the quality of his life have on the satisfaction you feel with your own life? He could have a fantastic life filled with money, an endless supply of (meaningful) sex, elephants to ride in his back yard, ninja friends, rocket cars, fruity pebbles, fuck – this piece of butt rot may well have the solution for unified fucking theory up his sleeve – how does that change how you feel about your life one iota? Read the rest of this entry »
Foreigners are Weird – Bizarre Commercials Vol. 1
Weird Foreign Commercials
There’s a wide, wild world out there, and we are but a part of it. The cultural applications and nuances of some societies are often different and difficult for outsiders to grasp. This is a given.
When we visit a foreign land, we expect to see foreign things–things we won’t try to understand. Then there are the things we wish to Heaven that we did understand, because the strange imagery we’ve seen will cause us to question our very existence unless we can get an explanation. With that in mind, here are some seriously fucked-up commercials from all over the world. Watch at your own risk. Read the rest of this entry »
My shit’s on random
Lots of my arts that never quite made it into posts.
I lol’d Ghandi, because I’m a bad person. Read the rest of this entry »
What do I need to do to get you to buy this Vacuum
A Twin Falls, Idaho man got more than a vacuum cleaner when a door-to-door Kirby vacuum cleaner salesman came calling six months ago. Likewise, when Jamie Howard arrived at Mr. Sucher’s abode to heavy-hand a new upright upon the resident, he didn’t realize what he was getting himself into.
In the course of the (likely) high-pressure sales pitch Sucher said he couldn’t afford a new vac. (At this point, I imagine that Howard probably said something like, “When you can have a high-performance, high-quality upright like this at just $60 a month, how can you afford not to have one?”)
Sucher informed Howard that he couldn’t afford the vacuum because he was waiting for a kidney transplant. Apparently, Sucher didn’t need any more high-pressure in his life because his own high blood pressure had caused his kidneys to fail in 2004. Read the rest of this entry »
Halloween Freebies…for pedophiles only
For the second year in a row, Baltimore, MD. parole officers are handing out festive orange door signs to signify the holiday.
Want one? Just go rape yourself a baby!
That’s right, class. Baltimore loves Halloween so much, even the pedophiles get treats! Read the rest of this entry »
This Vogue will Fuck you Up
I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind? Or on my knees?
I am a slut. Please hold me down. I’ll be your noise. This shit will fuck you up.
-This Shit Will Fuck You Up by CombiChrist
I love industrial music almost as much as I hate industrial dance. Read the rest of this entry »
The Boss Hoss: Welcome to Trashville
ЯR Oktober’s Official Band: The Boss Hoss ЯR
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After 15 years of playing and recording in rock ‘n’ roll bands, and another 3 writing about rock ‘n’ roll bands, it’s tempting to say that I’ve pretty much seen all the weirdness you could ascribe to rock ‘n’ roll bands, but then I saw The BossHoss…
The Boss Hoss plays a raucous, countrified style of punk-a-billy rock. Nothing new there. Cow-punk had its day 20 years ago with X and Lone Justice. Fair enough. What about the fact that most of their repertoire consists of bizarre hick-rock covers of popular songs like Nelly’s “Hot in Heere”, Ministry’s “Jesus Built my Hotrod” and Cameo’s “Word Up”. To make it still more intriguing, they somehow convinced one of the world’s biggest record labels to get on board with them. Oh, and they’re not from Nashville or Bakersfield–they’re from Germany!
Ja. Dieser band kommt aus Deutschland, y’all.
Looking at it all on paper, this could either be total fucking win or the absolute worst band ever to disgrace a stage. Read the rest of this entry »
