Ration Reality

Weird Foreign Commercials

There’s a wide, wild world out there, and we are but a part of it. The cultural applications and nuances of some societies are often different and difficult for outsiders to grasp. This is a given.

When we visit a foreign land, we expect to see foreign things–things we won’t try to understand. Then there are the things we wish to Heaven that we did understand, because the strange imagery we’ve seen will cause us to question our very existence unless we can get an explanation. With that in mind, here are some seriously fucked-up commercials from all over the world. Watch at your own risk. (more…)

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Lots of my arts that never quite made it into posts.

I lol’d Ghandi, because I’m a bad person. (more…)

A Twin Falls, Idaho man got more than a vacuum cleaner when a door-to-door Kirby vacuum cleaner salesman came calling six months ago. Likewise, when Jamie Howard arrived at Mr. Sucher’s abode to heavy-hand a new upright upon the resident, he didn’t realize what he was getting himself into.

In the course of the (likely) high-pressure sales pitch Sucher said he couldn’t afford a new vac. (At this point, I imagine that Howard probably said something like, “When you can have a high-performance, high-quality upright like this at just $60 a month, how can you afford not to have one?”)

Sucher informed Howard that he couldn’t afford the vacuum because he was waiting for a kidney transplant. Apparently, Sucher didn’t need any more high-pressure in his life because his own high blood pressure had caused his kidneys to fail in 2004. (more…)

For the second year in a row, Baltimore, MD. parole officers are handing out festive orange door signs to signify the holiday.
Want one? Just go rape yourself a baby!

That’s right, class. Baltimore loves Halloween so much, even the pedophiles get treats! (more…)

I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind? Or on my knees?
I am a slut. Please hold me down. I’ll be your noise. This shit will fuck you up.
-This Shit Will Fuck You Up by CombiChrist

I love industrial music almost as much as I hate industrial dance. (more…)

ЯR             Oktober’s Official Band: The Boss Hoss             ЯR

After 15 years of playing and recording in rock ‘n’ roll bands, and another 3 writing about rock ‘n’ roll bands, it’s tempting to say that I’ve pretty much seen all the weirdness you could ascribe to rock ‘n’ roll bands, but then I saw The BossHoss…

The Boss Hoss plays a raucous, countrified style of punk-a-billy rock. Nothing new there. Cow-punk had its day 20 years ago with X and Lone Justice. Fair enough. What about the fact that most of their repertoire consists of bizarre hick-rock covers of popular songs like Nelly’s “Hot in Heere”, Ministry’s “Jesus Built my Hotrod” and Cameo’s “Word Up”. To make it still more intriguing, they somehow convinced one of the world’s biggest record labels to get on board with them. Oh, and they’re not from Nashville or Bakersfield–they’re from Germany!

Ja. Dieser band kommt aus Deutschland, y’all.

Looking at it all on paper, this could either be total fucking win or the absolute worst band ever to disgrace a stage. (more…)

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DeerBusters Wolf Urine: A lure worse than the disease

Amazon.com Sales Rank: #250,402 in Kitchen & Dining (<– WTF?)

Amazon Product Description
Use our 100 percent urine lures to create the illusion predators are present in the area you wish. Great for photographers, gardeners, hunters and wildlife enthusiasts.

It seems this product is intended to keep vicious, vegetation-sucking deer away from your campsite or garden, using the pheromone-rich urine of a she-wolf in heat. Deer apparently don’t care to be around horny she-wolves. Know what animal does seek out the pheromonal goodness of horny she-wolves?

Yeah, this product is a good idea.

More Worst Gift Ever nominees:

• What’s an integrity?
• The Scat of Luxury
• The tiniest Santa
• Books that exist
• Welcome to Hymen Drive