The Erotic Clipart Alphabet
I love weird clip art almost as much as I love erotic art. I’m quite fond of the alphabet, as well. Win+Win+Win!
Sex, Drugs, and Stupid Lyrics
All of BuckCherry’s songs sound the same, are about the same thing, and the lyrics are retarded. I love them, and so do you. We can’t help it. We love sex, drugs, and hepatitis infested frontmen. But this song, Porno Star, just takes the stupid lyrics prize. Read the rest of this entry »
The West Virginia Chronicles, vol. 2: Bad Rap/The Gilligan Connection
West Virginia is the butt of many a redneck joke. Personally, I don’t see it. Those stereotypes are based on dispatches to newspapers in New York, Philadelphia and Cleveland a century ago when field reporters were covering labor skirmishes and family feuds for sensational headlines. Besides, for my money, people in Maine and Upstate New York know a whole hell of a lot more about being redneck than Mountaineers do.
Still, West Virginia’s reputation for being weird is not fully unwarranted. Astronomically fucked-up things happen there regularly–things that sound like Onion stories that were somehow picked up by legitimate news agencies that weren’t paying attention. For instance, Gilligan used to live in WV–or, Bob Denver, the guy we know as Gilligan, anyway. Yes, after the wild success of Gilligan’s Island and Dobie Gillis, he settled near Princeton and started a computer business and radio station.
Now here’s where the weirdness comes in. A few years back, Gilligan went sideways of the law. Read the rest of this entry »
The Great Kat: Worship or Die
ЯR November’s Official Artist: The Great Kat ЯR
She came on like a tale told by an idiot; full of sound and fury, signifying…well, personality disorder, maybe? Born in Swindon, UK, Katherine Thomas was raised in a military family on Long Island. Showing an obvious musical aptitude, Kat began playing classical violin at age 9 and later, believing classical music was “dead”, she strapped on a Jackson ‘Flying V’ electric guitar and flipped the scrip’. Read the rest of this entry »
Dog Toy or Sex Toy
Let’s play a game, shall we?
I’ve gathered some photos of toys available for purchase around the web. You guess which are dog toys and which are sex toys. Read the rest of this entry »
RIP-IA: Jeanne Tripplehorn
Rest in Peace(in advance) |
As I am writing this, the ever lovely Jeanne Tripplehorn, that hot naked chick from Waterworld and Basic Instinct, has not died. To the best of my knowledge, she isn’t ill or injured. However, we beings of this mortal coil will each have our last day.
One of my greatest fears, the elephant on my chest when I’m trying to sleep, is that she will pass on a day when I’m simply too busy, stoned, or sleepy to write a proper sendoff for such a kind, generous, well-endowed lady. So, Jeanne, I’m writing this in advance of your eventual passing. May it be many years from now. Read the rest of this entry »
Welcome to the Neighborhood
Before we get into Soy’s post, go vote for our good friend Laurie Kendrick at weblogawards. There is no signup, just a click and you’re done. -bagel
I wrote this a few months before I joined Ration Reality. The events happenned on a warm, spring day, rather than a chilly autumn one. I hope you enjoy this little slice of my existence.
Though I’m in my third decade on this earth, I basically live the same way that I did in college. I don’t say this as a point of pride–more like a resignation to the fact that my home is pretty messy, I tend to eat my meals off of napkins with plastic utensils hijacked from fast food eateries and view sleep as an enemy, using all available resources to cheat it. Last night, when any normal person would have been slumbering, I was up chatting with a good friend, playing my bass guitar, annoying my wife, grooming my cat and laughing my ass off to some obscure British television program – largely at the same time! Do I realize that it’s abnormal? Of course. “Abnormal” pretty much describes my life as a whole, I suppose.
To complicate things (so to speak), I’ve lived in a big, beige suburban “planned community” for about 6 years now. When I got married, my wife moved here with me. For the sake of my family’s privacy, I won’t reveal the pretentious name of my subdivision. Instead, I will substitute my own, more appropriate name. How about “Aryan Acres” or “Flight Path Estates”? Whatever the name, one need only look at the big, honkin’ SUVs and shiny German sedans parked in front of the townhomes here to see that my neighbors are living the suburban lifestyle to which they aspire. To their great credit, they’ve put up with our 10 year-old, cosmetically-challenged vehicles, loudmouthed (if loveable) mutt of a dog and overall bohemian lifestyle. These days, most neighbors don’t even give a second glance when they see me sporting a dog chain collar and green hair while wheeling out a massive guitar cabinet to my truck. As long as I don’t actually play through that cabinet in my home, they don’t mind. God bless them.
Well, for one new arrival, the welcome to our cozy suburban existence was a bit more jarring than my own. Read the rest of this entry »
Word up! It’s Cameo!!
I was saving this for the right time, and after much prodding from Bagel, it appears this is the right time. The following chronicles a night I shant soon forget; a night of funk, formality, awkwardness, PVC, alcohol and codpieces. Enjoy!
I remember the moment well. It happened midway through my workday on a slow, spring Friday. My colleague, Mike, caught me in the office and greeted me with a boisterous, “you know your boys are playing at the Millennium Center tonight!” I thought “You mean Steely Dan are going to be playing here today?”, but I (thankfully) didn’t say it. Read the rest of this entry »
