Ration Reality

Homosexuality. Obesity. Online Dating. A hairy guy with a gold chain and weird red patches inside his thighs.  Nothing wrong with any of those things. Yet when you put them together, the result is…. odious.  

GayChubbyDating.com. Go there. Refresh the page a few times to cycle the images.
Masturbate and/or vomit, as nessesary.

Previous !Word!s: Mondegreen - Blepharoplasty - Cordyceps - Jenkem - CILF - Fursecution  

“An epidemic of Dominicans contaminating everything.” (Through the Glass by Stone Sour)
“I am imagining a dark lit place with your place or my face.” (Paralyzer by Finger11)
“Mirror yourself if you can even try. Gaze deep into God’s peepee eye” (October Thorns by Flotsam & Jetsam)
“We built this city on the wrong damn road” (We Built This City by Starship)

What do these lyrics have in common? They all prove that I’m stupid and usually high. Also, they’re mondegreens. (more…)

 Everyone’s favorite dirty, dirty monkey, Deviant, has written a !WORD! so
satirically beautiful, Johnathan Swift has surely creamed in his coffin.

The word for this week is blepharoplasty, or as I like to refer to it: correcting nature’s mistakes.

Asian-Blepharoplasty is a form of cosmetic surgery that is taking the yellow continent of Asia by storm. It is the most sophisticated answer for sufferers of Epicanthal Folds.

As defined by Wikipedia:

…the presence of the epicanthal fold can be a symptom of fetal alcohol syndrome, chromosomal disorders such as Down syndrome (Trisomy 21) Cri du Chat syndrome, or pre-term birth…or simply being Chinese.

…my buddy’s head had rolled clean off his shoulder like a watermelon rolling off a market perch…the naked gook woman emerged violently from the wet jungle. I reached for my rifle, but she was too quick. In one alarming move the girl threw herself at me, sobbing and covered in blood, as if the weight of the musky morning had trampled on her…

Oh! I’m sorry, that was just a ‘Nam flashback!

I know what you’re thinking, “but its simply not fair Kevin. As a non-retarded Asian person, what can I do to correct my hideous God-awful eyes?” (more…)

As an artist, I regularly medibate for creative inspiration. Sometimes I medibate to gain clarity on a specific question or issue in my life. Other times, I simply go into a Zen state, really paying attention to the sensations moving through me. With medibation, I can reach the most peaceful states I have ever known.
-Annie Sprinkle Ph.D. (more…)

 
Cordyceps: Killer Dicks

Cordyceps Sinensis are fungi used for centuries in Chinese medicine.  The ingredient has been showing up in the U.S. as a health suppliment, and even in mass market energy drinks recently. The phallic appearance is defiantly a plus, but that’s not enough to earn their place as this week’s !WORD!. (more…)

This shit will fuck you up

We first heard about jenkem in 1999, when the BBC News reported on the growing fad amongst Zambian street children, which has quickly spread throughout Sub-Saharan Africa. Nobody cared — until some white, middle class, all-American fucktard claimed to have tried it.

So what is jenkem? (more…)

What’s a CILF? This is a CILF:

Her name is Laura. She’s a pretty girl, isn’t she?

(more…)

WARNING: IT SHOULD BE ASSUMED IN ADVANCE THAT EVERY SINGLE FUCKING LINK IN THIS POST IS COMPLETELY, TOTALLY, ABSOLUTELY, AND UTTERLY NOT SAFE FOR FUCKING WORK. NOT ONLY THAT, BUT IT’S ALSO NOT SAFE FOR FUCKING HUMANITY. YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL IS IN DANGER HERE.

IF YOU CLICK ON ANYTHING HERE AND IT GETS YOU FIRED OR DAMNED TO ETERNAL HELLFIRE, YOU WERE FUCKING WARNED. DON’T COME BITCHING TO ME.

(more…)