Warm fuzzies crawlin’ all over me
In a pitiful attempt to win our favor, loyal ЯR participant Keywork has written a cloying review of our beloved website. It seems he’s such a big ass-suck fan, he could do nothing but praise our groundbreaking family website. Enjoy, friends!
You Can Have My Ration.
Ration Reality. I stumbled upon this incoherent, slimy sac of anal seepage a few months ago. And I can tell you this: don’t visit this blog, Bagel has syphilis. Yes, the editor, Bagel of Everything, has syphilis. Frat boys beware. Never in my life have I ever read such horrible propaganda. Let’s look:
She’s a Racist. Really, she is. All jokes aside, she’s a horrible human being in every sense of the word. Wait, the blog. Ok, it’s easy to navigate. If you really want to cruise around this vat of cerebral vomit. I’ll save you the trouble: shit, ass, fuck, cunt, anal sex, holocaust, wong, ass cadet, desperate lesbian. That’s about it.
Soylent Ape. He’s a dirty jew. So, you don’t even have to read his posts. Again, I’ll save you the trouble: economics, penis, obscure bands, drums.
Seriously, I’m glad you both have jobs. I liked your old template better, the new one is shit. Oh, please don’t reproduce you two. And if you do, make sure your spawn aren’t allowed near a computer. No stars on this one, you guys put the ‘k’ in suck.
Tasteful, no?
Related posts: Vote Keywork in 08 - You like me, you really like me! - The final domain
he has away with words, doesn’t he?
capricorn1966
28 Apr 08 at 8:53 am
And desperate lesbians everywhere rejoiced.
keywork.
28 Apr 08 at 8:57 am
I like the bit where he says “Bagel is a satirical genius who taught me everything I know.”
You gotta look closely, it’s between the lines, but it’s there.
The Bagel of Everything
28 Apr 08 at 9:03 am
Yeah, it’s right under the paragraph I wrote about Kevin.
keywork.
28 Apr 08 at 9:06 am
The one where you admitted you want his sweet brown ass?
The Bagel of Everything
28 Apr 08 at 9:24 am
Bagel=microphone.
keywork.
28 Apr 08 at 9:28 am
Hows it feel to be so fucked up that you’re popular ?
micky2
28 Apr 08 at 9:50 am
Good, micky, it feels good.
keywork.
28 Apr 08 at 9:52 am
Like a cheerleader who forgot her panties.
so, pretty much, it feels like highschool.
The Bagel of Everything
28 Apr 08 at 9:53 am
Well, O.K
But I was talking about Bagel
micky2
28 Apr 08 at 9:54 am
Smells like Teen spurt ?
micky2
28 Apr 08 at 9:55 am
Again, the desperate lesbian is exposed.
keywork.
28 Apr 08 at 9:55 am
Micky, so was I.
keywork.
28 Apr 08 at 9:55 am
Let’s go beat up some nerds!
The Bagel of Everything
28 Apr 08 at 9:55 am
Desperate lesbian?
Horny bi-sexual.
See how much more appetizing that sounds?
The Bagel of Everything
28 Apr 08 at 9:57 am
RR: Sensationalizing the unsensational. I think I just invented two words.
keywork.
28 Apr 08 at 9:59 am
“:” and “the” ?
No, I think those were already words.
The Bagel of Everything
28 Apr 08 at 10:00 am
Oh. I had no idea.
keywork.
28 Apr 08 at 10:14 am
Key;
“Sensationalizing the unsensational. I think I just invented two words.”
That sounds like it would be a mind numbing skull fuck
micky2
28 Apr 08 at 10:43 am
Where is the link to naked male bloggers? That’s something I might be interested in.
Love Bites
28 Apr 08 at 10:43 am
It’s not a link, my lovely.
If you suck up to me enough, I might maybe just email you a few.
So far I’ve got Scott, Key, Soy, Zach, Jason, and Kevin (tho Kev prolly doesn’t remember).
The Bagel of Everything
28 Apr 08 at 11:23 am
Roofies: not just for teenage girls.
keywork.
28 Apr 08 at 11:31 am
um? where the fuck are my pictures? and I’ve sucked you on more then one occasion.
capricorn1966
28 Apr 08 at 11:35 am
You never asked.
Want?
The Bagel of Everything
28 Apr 08 at 11:44 am
Love bites.
here ya go.
http://ambermac.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/01/31/naked_male_bloggers.png
micky2
28 Apr 08 at 11:44 am
“Roofies: not just for teenage girls.”
–This message brought to you by the American Rohyphenol Council, who encourages you to buy only high-quality, American-made Roofies.
Soylent Ape
28 Apr 08 at 11:45 am
I want. you?
capricorn1966
28 Apr 08 at 11:46 am
Damn you micky! Damn you all to hell!
The Bagel of Everything
28 Apr 08 at 11:50 am
I should just fire myself pre-emptively before work gets a chance to.
“RR: Slipping Ur Mickyz.”
The 'Goose
28 Apr 08 at 11:51 am
Cappy: Ok, but we’re starting you out slowly. Enjoy.
Goose: Surely you didnt click a link that ends in “naked_male_bloggers.jpg” or titled “damn you all the hell”, right?
The Bagel of Everything
28 Apr 08 at 11:54 am
I took an oath yesterday to be more Sybilized
micky2
28 Apr 08 at 12:23 pm
Holy hell, my eyes.
That was just awful. What would sucking up entail?
Love Bites
28 Apr 08 at 12:44 pm
Cappy, wanna take this one?
Oh, and kids… meet Love Bites. She rocks and her site rocks. And I hear she’s totally stacked.
Show her around, will you?
The Bagel of Everything
28 Apr 08 at 12:49 pm
Love Bites: read the post on Jenkem. Sucking up starts there, I’m pretty sure. Or, being the desperate lesbian that she is, Bagel may just be looking for free cunnilingus.
keywork.
28 Apr 08 at 12:50 pm
Key only says I’m a lesbian because after he showed me his cock, I didn’t come running to whatever freaky square-shaped state he lives in.
That, and I like boobs. But really, who doesn’t?
(shuddup, wdl)
The Bagel of Everything
28 Apr 08 at 12:53 pm
Well I didn’t earn the title ambassawhore for nothing. Obviously you didn’t show your tits yet and when you do if you would send a short video of you masturbating that would be a big plus. If Bagel likes it she will respond by licking your pants and celebrating with a big ole cup of creamy frothy substance.
good luck.
capricorn1966
28 Apr 08 at 1:03 pm
Let the record show that my ass is not BROWN. It is the color of butterscotch pie.
Kevin
28 Apr 08 at 1:04 pm
Bagel: whatevs. You don’t have to lie to kick it.
keywork.
28 Apr 08 at 1:09 pm
“Goose: Surely you didnt click a link that ends in “naked_male_bloggers.jpg” or titled “damn you all the hell”, right?”
Well, duh. What else am I gonna do? Work?
The 'Goose
28 Apr 08 at 1:29 pm
I am more than happy to forward gratuitous titty shots to Bagel.
I have to agree…boobs are cool.
Love Bites
28 Apr 08 at 2:12 pm
You can forward them to me, too. Thanks.
capricorn1966
28 Apr 08 at 2:20 pm
No. Mine.
We’re movin up in the world, kiddies!
Remember when we were #5 google result for awesome porn?
We’re now #4
Suck me, awesomeporn.com!
The Bagel of Everything
28 Apr 08 at 3:20 pm
I’m feeling all kinds of porn for you now, Bagel. you turn me on.
capricorn1966
28 Apr 08 at 3:33 pm
hottt….
capricorn1966
28 Apr 08 at 3:36 pm
Can I just say thanks for saying that I rock, and the site rocks? because that means a fucking lot coming from you, the person who made me spew at least 3 times last week. And I mean that in all seriousness.
Love Bites
28 Apr 08 at 4:02 pm
Kev;
“It is the color of butterscotch pie.”
Babyshit?
micky2
28 Apr 08 at 4:26 pm
Bagel is a manipualtive little bitch.
Shes knows that if we google awesome porn we’ll actually end up with our dicks in our hands.
Like I did.
micky2
28 Apr 08 at 4:48 pm
mick your dick is always in your hand.
capricorn1966
28 Apr 08 at 4:51 pm
And I get away with it too.
micky2
28 Apr 08 at 5:58 pm
More power to ya. If I could walk around with my hand in my pussy, I probably would.
capricorn1966
28 Apr 08 at 6:03 pm
No, not probably.
micky2
28 Apr 08 at 7:28 pm
I give him credit, I’m still trying to figure out exactly what this website is.
LOL Heathen
28 Apr 08 at 8:44 pm
“that means a fucking lot coming from you, the person who made me spew at least 3 times last week.”
Alright, ladies. You’ve earned a tasty treat.
I give to you Scott in his red undies.
(He’s 6′4″)
The Bagel of Everything
28 Apr 08 at 8:49 pm
I don’t know which is worse, the posts or the comments. But every time I come around here I feel the urge to run to the nearest priest and blow him so I can connect to God.
Stiletto
28 Apr 08 at 10:14 pm
Still.
Are you Catholic ?
micky2
28 Apr 08 at 10:18 pm
Bagel.
Do Scotts underwear come in a Jordache tube ?
micky2
28 Apr 08 at 10:19 pm
Do they still make Jordache?
Soylent-Ape
28 Apr 08 at 11:07 pm
Jordache? Pft. Calvin Klein all the way.
Noble
29 Apr 08 at 12:36 am
Fuck underwear.
micky2
29 Apr 08 at 1:17 am
BAGEL with CREAM-CHeESE all OVER HER.
WHAT UP? ….. WOW!!!!! There is alot of PUSSY-DRAMA going on here.
You better have my ‘NIPPLE and NATURE TRAIL hanging in your livingroom above the fireplace. …..I still want ROYALITIES from this!
We “IN HELL” our doing GREAT! I support your InSaNiTy!!!!!!!!!!!!
By the way, these DICKSICLES here need to get LAID! …….masterbating to HBO and Showtime don’t count! Waiting for your REPLIES to STROKE IT is pathetic! Sounds like they are a bunch of AFC’s…..(Average Frustrated Chumps!) ….They have NO GAME!
P.s. …..Post a picture of your VaJAYJAY on your site so they can LICK their SCREEN!
JaSoN
29 Apr 08 at 1:55 am
is blogdicking allowed? & if so-would it be called blogcunting bc im a chick? lol…j/k…just popping in to say hey cuz my puters’ been broke for a few weeks now…im actually using the wii to type this! anyways…hope everyone is good!
love ya all…
amanda
Stonalisa
29 Apr 08 at 7:53 am
Stiletto: That’s why you fit in so well.
Micky: I’m thinking um no.
Jason: Your meds need you.
Stona: We don’t have a feature for replying directly to previous comments. If we ever get that, blogdick away. We miss you! Sorry your ‘puter be broken! Last time I was at the Goodwill, I saw some pretty damn awesome deals, like completely refurbished 1ghz Dells with monitor, keys, mouse for $99.
The Bagel of Everything
29 Apr 08 at 8:48 am
Isn’t nice to have such great friends who support you and write such wonderful compliments to lift your creative spirits.
Freddy
29 Apr 08 at 11:24 am
Mos def, Freddy.
I’m having tuna salad on toast with tomatoes and melted muenster. I used to call it The Skank in Heat, but I was out of eggs, so now it’s Cappy’s Menopausal Delight.
The Bagel of Everything
30 Apr 08 at 12:52 pm
that gives me the warm fuzzies crawlin’ all over me.
capricorn1966
30 Apr 08 at 1:58 pm
I just hadda run to the shitter
micky2
30 Apr 08 at 2:00 pm
Thanks for the update, micky.
Don’t click this.
The Bagel of Everything
30 Apr 08 at 2:01 pm
So now I know what Kevin looks like.
No more updates if you dont tell me what you’re eating
micky2
30 Apr 08 at 2:26 pm
Was sharing recipes with my lady friend, like a good little house frau.
The Bagel of Everything
30 Apr 08 at 2:29 pm
Bagel,
I’m hurt, I thought that was “our” special little thing
micky2
30 Apr 08 at 7:31 pm
What do you need my recipies for, Mr. Professional Chef?
The Bagel of Everything
30 Apr 08 at 8:34 pm
I’ll share with you only if you dont share with me.
micky2
30 Apr 08 at 10:37 pm
How come I think of Bagel everytime I see this ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoKMDFNOF9s&feature=related
micky2
30 Apr 08 at 11:57 pm
Because you’re not a nice person?
The Bagel of Everything
30 Apr 08 at 11:59 pm
Well, it varies.
When I saw Uma Thurman dancing in Pulp fiction I thought of you also.
micky2
1 May 08 at 12:32 am
well, if i wasnt still involved with the bastard i have now-a goodwill boyfriend might work…however-the current bastard’s still holding over 3000 of my most prized songs, and hundreds & hundreds of pics-and vids! im unwilling to stalk another until this situation is resolved! im a fighter-not a lover!
stonalisa
1 May 08 at 9:15 am
Stona: It’s not difficult to hook up the old drive to a new computer. I don’t think I could walk you through it online, but you could prolly get some trade school kid to do it for $20.
The Bagel of Everything
1 May 08 at 6:30 pm
Unfortunately, my mother is. Why she’s so fucked up.
Stiletto
1 May 08 at 10:51 pm
Um.
What?
The Bagel of Everything
2 May 08 at 10:49 pm
Thats what I was gonna say yesterday. I just thought it was some secret code
Shes probably fuckin wasted
micky2
3 May 08 at 12:16 am