Fuckin’ charming
Three Christmases ago, I got my first charm bracelet. It’s a sweet little silver thing with a kitty cat charm. I’ve never cared for jewelry, but I adored my bracelet. I expected I’d get more charms for it on future holidays, but I didn’t. The charms on a charm bracelet are supposed to represent the interests of the wearer. A bracelet with only one charm doesn’t say alot of good about my personality. A single kitty cat charm SCREAMS “crazy cat lady!”
So I powered up the internet machine, in search of mass-produced charms more fitting a unique individual like myself. Wow…
A winged penis charm from eBay
Backhoe, also available in solid gold
This classy charm is Takin Care of Business
It’s a coffin charm. No, really.
I know I am, but what are you?
And here, I thought charm bracelets were all about flowers and baby animals.
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where are the devil horns? You can have mine when I become a saint.
capricorn1966
23 Apr 08 at 11:50 am
Today Jo Ann and I went to Bertucci’s for lunch. I held the door for this little old couple who could barely walk. They couldn’t thank me enough. I was over joyed with the good deed that I had done.
As they waddled through the door at a very slow pace Jo Ann and I followed them in, in the same exact manner.
Maybe I’d better hold onto my horns for a while.
capricorn1966
23 Apr 08 at 11:58 am
When I was about 30 my mother gave me her charm bracelet that was jamm packed with charms she had collected over the past 30 years in her travels.
The next day I traded it for a bag of dope.
Ah, there.
I feel better now.
micky2
23 Apr 08 at 12:30 pm
and shouldn’t that be Miss Bitch?
capricorn1966
23 Apr 08 at 12:39 pm
? ? ? There are some bizarre charms shown in this post. Who buys an aspirin charm or a backhoe charm? I think one might as easily sell a Prozac prescription charm, a jury summons charm or a vineagar and water douche charm.
That being said, if Blackie Lawlesshad a charm bracelet, the rotary saw blade would definitely be on it!
Soylent Ape
23 Apr 08 at 12:47 pm
The backhoe charm is just a sheild for what it really means…hoe
capricorn1966
23 Apr 08 at 12:54 pm
Maybe it’s a typo and they forgot the L
The Bagel of Everything
23 Apr 08 at 1:16 pm
meaning?
capricorn1966
23 Apr 08 at 1:18 pm
Blackhoe
The Bagel of Everything
23 Apr 08 at 1:23 pm
hahhahahahha…that made me laugh out loud.
capricorn1966
23 Apr 08 at 1:24 pm
i would have to say the shotgun is my favorite, but who doesnt need a winged penis charm?
ellen
23 Apr 08 at 1:25 pm
ELLEN!
WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?
The Bagel of Everything
23 Apr 08 at 1:28 pm
The winged penis charm disturbs me. From the eBay listing: “You are admiring a sterling silver[925] solid 3d flying penis.this fine artistic piece can be worn as a pendant,charm,earring dropper on a sleeper type earring or on a keyring.A definate conversation piece.”
Apparently, this lady’s husband makes them. Why? Nobody knows… Oddly enough, most of the description is about the lost wax method of metal casting. As if potential buyers need to be well-versed in how the silver flying penis was made before buying it.
Unsurprisingly, there are no bids, though it does have four days left.
Cody
23 Apr 08 at 2:45 pm
I kinda want the penis one. I might buy it. $8 seems high for shipping, even from the UK, but maybe..
I’d imagine she uses the same description for all the items.
The Bagel of Everything
23 Apr 08 at 2:58 pm
Complete with poor spelling and no spaces after the punctuation!
It’s a definite conversation piece, Bagel. Imagine the conversations you could have about it:
“What’s that?”
“Oh, a flying penis.”
“…”
Cody
23 Apr 08 at 3:37 pm
OMG I didn’t even see the back view!
http://i3.ebayimg.com/07/i/000/a3/6a/eb5b_1.JPG
The Bagel of Everything
23 Apr 08 at 3:38 pm
Those are some shiny balls. Too bad they aren’t Schweddy balls, though…
Cody
23 Apr 08 at 3:51 pm
I’d definitely wear that…to a family dinner. They worry about me as it is, now they’ll have a reason.
capricorn1966
23 Apr 08 at 4:43 pm
If I rub those shiny balls do I get three wishes?
capricorn1966
23 Apr 08 at 4:44 pm
Yes, but you wouldn’t like them.
I wonder if they’ve got a tarnish-proof coating?
Wax on, wax off!
The Bagel of Everything
23 Apr 08 at 4:49 pm
who cares the thought of having a dick dangle between my breasts all time sounds like heaven. just like having your clit pierced.
Bagel do you want to wax on, wax off my boobs?
capricorn1966
23 Apr 08 at 4:56 pm
They must be some hairy tits
micky2
23 Apr 08 at 5:31 pm
When it comes to titties, the Miyagi method works very well.
Soylent-San
23 Apr 08 at 5:43 pm
didn’t you see the movie? wax on, wax off has nothing to do with hair removal.
buff and shine, buff and shine.
capricorn1966
23 Apr 08 at 6:05 pm
Micky had the movie, but he traded it for a nickel of hash before he could watch it.
Soylent Ape
23 Apr 08 at 7:07 pm
Cap, I only know of one thing women use wax for. And it aint candles next to the Jaquzzi.
Soy, a nickel went a long way in those days
micky2
23 Apr 08 at 7:48 pm
Fuck, Soy, it was worth more then that. maybe he got his dick sucked and a miller light to boot
capricorn1966
23 Apr 08 at 7:53 pm
I think you need them all, but my favorite is the winged dick with the boobs on the backside….with the circular saw and the shotgun (with a scope?), people would not fuck with you then and call you a crazy cat lady.
You have tell us which ones you ordered..or did you order them all?
Freddy
23 Apr 08 at 9:12 pm
I dont do Ralph Machio.
I spent 7 years studiying Chinese kempo Karate and ” wax on wax off’ was an insult to the art.
Original Okinawan senseis did not have automobiles
micky2
23 Apr 08 at 10:17 pm
“Sensei” is a cool word. It kinda sounds like what it describes: forceful, noble, ancient.
@ Micky: How about “paint a fence”? Truth be told, the dudes responsible for writing and producing that film knew nothing of the martial arts. Even the late Pat Morita (Mr. Miyagi) acknowledges that he never studied karate and most of his “karate” scenes were done by a stunt double. That’s Hollywood, for you.
Soylent-San
23 Apr 08 at 11:11 pm
Well, they’ve had fences for quite a while, but I was sure the wax job had little to do with traditional “katas” or exercises.
I use to improvise my own workouts in some strange ways when I had no equipment.
I use to hang from the ceiling by one ankle in a noose to get my spread and got too high once and let go of the other end and a knot in the rope got caught on the ceiling beam. Good thing my ole lady came home in about ten minutes or I would be using my nuts for feet today.
micky2
23 Apr 08 at 11:40 pm
Nooo… Pat didn’t do his own karate scence? Shit. Fuck. Damn.
capricorn1966
24 Apr 08 at 6:12 am