Dew the Don’t
About a month ago, my heart began fluttering in the night. At times it felt as if it were turning itself over in my chest. While I was glad to know I actually had a heart, I was terrified. Not so terrified that I called my doctor, but terrified nonetheless.
I’m fairly young and I exercise regularly. Surely it couldn’t be a “cardiac episode”. I considered my diet. I can suck a pig through a straw, but my cholesterol levels have always been freakishly low. I rarely salt my food. I eat pretty well, for a southerner. Then it hit me: CAFFEINE.
Thanks to Diet Coke breakfasts and mainlining Thai energy drinks (shit will jack you up!), I consume more caffeine in a week than a WoW geek does throughout his whole 28 years of puberty. So I dumped the caffeine. Not being crazy about water (or, as I call it, recycled dinosaur piss… it is, you know), I hit the Harris Teeter Supermarket and loaded a cart with Caffeine Free sodas. Driven by habit, I popped in 2 12-packs of Diet Mountain Dew … the caffeine free variety.
There’s something peculiar about Caffeine Free Diet Mountain Dew. Sure, it still tastes like deer piss, but without the caffeine and diabetic coma inducing levels of corn syrup, it’s just dirty water. Who thought this was a good idea?
Oh, and I’m feeling better.
You’re not dead yet!
The 'Goose
22 Apr 08 at 9:50 am
I’m a Dew fan and I’ve had the same feeling also. For a couple seconds it feels like your heart is trying to climb up your throat.
Its a double edge sword. Too much caffiene can give you the same feeling as the withdrawls.
When you body feels that the substance is lacking in your system it automatically speeds up your heart to push whatevers left into your system.
Its the same with alcohol and drug withdrawls. The first symptom is a racing heart.
I withdrawed a thousand times (literally) and the racing heart is always a sign that you better get something to taper off with and the maniac rush to the store begins.
I drink a lot of the diet Dew but I put a slice of lime or lemon in it.
My big idea of a party today is to go and grab a couple of “Nos” or “Monsters”
micky2
22 Apr 08 at 10:36 am
I’m drinking pomegranate-cherry Life Water right now. It tastes like plastic.
Did you vote?
http://markarayner.com/blog/archives/1234
Remember: A vote for Soma is a vote for me not punching you in the neck.
The Bagel of Everything
22 Apr 08 at 10:40 am
rock star energy drink is what I would go for. Mountain dew is so teenager.
Excedrin works well for longs trips when stopping is out of the question.
capricorn1966
22 Apr 08 at 10:53 am
soda is bad for you anyway. Drink water.
capricorn1966
22 Apr 08 at 10:54 am
Water is recycled dinosaur piss.
Before I went caffeine-free, I drank these Thai energy drinks.
You know how fountain drinks are just syrup and carbonated water coming out in seperate streams? If Redbull were a fountain drink, the Thai ones would be the concentrated syrup.
Seriously, you could put it on pancakes.
The Bagel of Everything
22 Apr 08 at 10:58 am
Fish fuck in water.
micky2
22 Apr 08 at 11:02 am
O.K.
Soma is winning.
Fuck you in the neck
micky2
22 Apr 08 at 11:06 am
I also like pellegrino
capricorn1966
22 Apr 08 at 11:17 am
Soy likes that stuff.
It tastes like the baking soda solution I drink when I get a sour tummy.
Ever had Sidral Mundet? It’s apple soda from Mexico. It’s made with real apple juice.
The Bagel of Everything
22 Apr 08 at 11:20 am
Nehi
micky2
22 Apr 08 at 11:27 am
Bagel, so is Martinells, good stuff.
micky2
22 Apr 08 at 11:28 am
Frozen blended Bubble Tea
esp. lychee & green apple flavors.
The Bagel of Everything
22 Apr 08 at 11:30 am
Ah, the midnight attack of tachycardia — or as I call them, “the yips”. The only thing that gets you in touch with your own mortality faster is having a loaded assault rifle pointed in your direction.
Perhaps you should try real mountain dew, just make sure it won’t blind you.
Mark
22 Apr 08 at 11:37 am
Mark.
I think we were more along the lines of a stimulant rather than a coma.
Falling of a third flor balcony and seeing the ground 1ft. before you hit it wiil get you in touch with your mortality pretty quickly also
micky2
22 Apr 08 at 11:41 am
never heard of it. I try to eat healthy and not poison my body with bad stuff with the exception of the Ritalin I take for my ADD, the Allegra and nasonex I take for my allergies, the klonipine I take to sleep at night and the alcohol I drink on the weekends to help me forget all the bad shit I did all week.
capricorn1966
22 Apr 08 at 11:43 am
And the viagra you swill to plump up your clit
The Bagel of Everything
22 Apr 08 at 11:48 am
don’t need it.
capricorn1966
22 Apr 08 at 12:07 pm
pogo stick
micky2
22 Apr 08 at 12:17 pm
poga stick?
capricorn1966
22 Apr 08 at 12:40 pm
Bagel: Ask Cappy about her daughter’s prize-winnings, courtesy a little help from her friends. And being stuck at work with nothing better to do. That voting is mah bitch! Back later…
The 'Goose
22 Apr 08 at 1:09 pm
Oh, no! Can we only vote once? What kind of fucked-up, democratic shit is that?
The 'Goose
22 Apr 08 at 1:10 pm
America is actually a republic.
Otherwise my whole state would be run by mongeese
micky
22 Apr 08 at 1:12 pm
thanks to the goose and co. my daughter got all the votes she needed to be in the finals for home town hottie.
capricorn1966
22 Apr 08 at 1:14 pm
Thanks kids.
Oh! You shoulda told me, I’d have voted tooooooo
bagel of everything
22 Apr 08 at 1:34 pm
*huff-huff*
Looks like I got here just in time…
Can I still vote?
Pedo Bear
22 Apr 08 at 2:01 pm
I’m a Dew addict, but I can’t say that I’ve ever had that heart-fluttering bit happen. Of course, I rarely drink more than two per day. I don’t make enough money to justify a full-blown addiction.
But I cannot stand Diet Mountain Dew. It’s the most disgusting thing in existence. I accidentally bought one when I wasn’t paying attention to the label, and I almost gagged. Even soy milk tainted with watered down mosquito piss topped off with liver is preferable.
Cody
22 Apr 08 at 4:58 pm
@Bagel -Good luck kicking the habit. I manage for months, but it’s siren song always gets me in the end.
LOL Heathen
22 Apr 08 at 5:21 pm
thanks bagel, I didn’t know you back then. Well I saw your name once or twice but I know you would of contributed without a doubt as long as I showed you my boobs.
she won
capricorn1966
22 Apr 08 at 6:07 pm
Isnt there like 15 people in her home town ?
micky
22 Apr 08 at 8:45 pm
Bagel used to be the Grand Exalted Leader of the Cult of Bubble Tea.
Soylent Ape
22 Apr 08 at 9:43 pm
Until I was overthrown due to my distaste for those little black tapioca globs in the bottom.
The Bagel of Everything
23 Apr 08 at 4:56 am
LOL…”suck a pig through a straw” and “tastes like deer piss”….
It’s all gross and I stay away from it…
except Monster…love me some sugar free Monster…
Glad you are feeling better!
Freddy
23 Apr 08 at 9:15 pm