Ration Reality

hyperbolic excellence

A Bagel New World

with 19 comments

This ad is old. I hate old ads. I want all new ads.

Mark over at The Skwib has challenged me to create a vintage-style ad for a fictional future product, taken from a literary source. After much grueling masturbation, I went with the first thing that popped into my head: Soma, from Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World. As everyone with a crappy spam collector knows, Soma already exists; I think I should get bonus points for cheating.

vintage ad

You can play, too. There are prizes! 
Base image from here. All text taken from the novel via this site.

Written by The Bagel of Everything

April 7, 2008 at 12:24 am

19 Responses to 'A Bagel New World'

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  1. I feel bad that no one has commented on this post so I’m gonna go for 4 grammes and hope for the best.

    Have a masturbating day.

    capricorn1966

    7 Apr 08 at 3:13 pm

  2. I, too, am Spartacus. Hello, post! You are a good one.

    The 'Goose

    7 Apr 08 at 3:25 pm

  3. Love it!

    (I must have been picking up your thoughts, because I was thinking of soma and you masturbating.)

    Mark

    7 Apr 08 at 3:52 pm

  4. well mark, you’ve come to the right place cause that’s what we seem to do best around here.

    capricorn1966

    7 Apr 08 at 4:04 pm

  5. ya know, take soma’s

    capricorn1966

    7 Apr 08 at 5:13 pm

  6. Hate to see what would happen if you took some real drugs

    micky2

    7 Apr 08 at 6:11 pm

  7. I would probably have some real sex and wouldn’t need to masturbate.

    capricorn1966

    7 Apr 08 at 6:53 pm

  8. Ya mean you dont know yet ?

    micky2

    7 Apr 08 at 7:34 pm

  9. no mick, tell me.

    capricorn1966

    7 Apr 08 at 7:38 pm

  10. My best sex was in my crank/speed/meth days.
    It kills your system but if you can find a willing partner its a fucking blast.
    Sex and drugs just seem to go so well together. Especially when its understood between the two of you that you’re not in love.
    Everyone should do the 2/3 day sex marathon at least once in their life.
    Its hard to admitt to some of the things you’ll do while high on the shit, but looking back it was all in good fun. And anyone else who was high and participating cant get all self righteous with you
    Talk about burning the mattress ?

    micky2

    7 Apr 08 at 8:14 pm

  11. Yeah! Lets burn some mattresses!

    Love your Soma ad Bagel :)…three for a dark eternity on the moon!..oh yes!

    Hope everyone is masturbating!

    Freddy

    7 Apr 08 at 8:23 pm

  12. Cappy, Goose: I love pity comments as much as I love pithy comments.

    Mark: Yeah, I know. I washed my hands.

    Micky, Freddy: My mattress is too old to burn. The smell of smoldering jew hair would be overwhelming.

  13. Omg…bagel….thanks for my laugh of the day…

    Freddy

    7 Apr 08 at 11:10 pm

  14. Smoldering Jew Hair? That’s a good one, bagel! We might as well burn the socks you take off in the night and get trapped between the bed and the wall, too.

  15. Micky2,

    In all regards, I can sure you sex and superpowers just seem to go so *FANTASTIC* together, plus the combo doesn’t kill you. (wink).

    E.

    Entomo

    8 Apr 08 at 8:33 am

  16. Freddy: You love me, don’t you?

    Soy: My socks are single use.

    Entomo: I’ve been denied all the best ultra sex

    Key: See what I did there?

  17. [...] Bagel recreated this Brave New World ad about soma: [...]

  18. Rock the vote!
    The 10 finalists are chosen.
    http://markarayner.com/blog/archives/1234

    Remember: A vote for Soma is a vote for me not punching you in the neck.

  19. Won 3rd place, out of 30 some entries.

    http://markarayner.com/blog/archives/1241

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