Ration Reality

Books that Exist: The Shit of God

Posted in art, books, books that exist, gifts, poetry, religion, tldr, wtf by The Bagel of Everything on March 28th, 2008

The Shit of God by Diamanda Galás

The title and artwork of this book suggest possible awesome. Too bad the words inside ruin it. 

Goth poetry, TYPED MOSTLY IN CAPS.

Try this excerpt:

LISTEN, MAN
IT MAY SOON BE TIME
FOR YOU TO GUARD A DYING MAN
UNTIL THE ANGELS COME
LET’S NOT CHAT ABOUT DESPAIR
IF YOU ARE A MAN (AND NOT A COWARD)
YOU WILL GRASP THE HAND OF HIM DENTED BY MERCY
UNTIL HIS BREATH BECOMES YOUR OWN

 That kind of stupid should have a warning label.


Diamanda Galas - Double Barrel Prayer

Unrelated awesomeness: Have ya’ll seen TransArtstudio.com? Female celebs, faithfully rendered as erotic nudes…except that they have giant penises. It’s a pay site, but you can see more than you’ll likely want to from the samples (click “click to enter” at the bottom). Holy hell.


More Books That Exist:  A Hand in the Bush - The History of Shit
The Haunted Vagina - Christian Domestic Discipline

111 Responses to 'Books that Exist: The Shit of God'

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  1. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 9:29 am

    Hmmmm…..People say this when they’re at a loss of words.

    What kind of fucking exorcist was that? Very disturbing, Bagel, I don’t think I’ll be the same for a while. Very bad Karma there. It’s bad, very bad.

  2. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 9:34 am

    Diamanda Galas is the Edie Brickell of the cyber generation.

    Someone please tell her I said that.

  3. keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 9:42 am

    Has anyone seen my eyes? No? I plucked them out after witnessing god’s dump. Really, this fucking bitch should not be allowed to attempt art.

  4. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 9:58 am

    Performance Art:

    Step1: Slather your naked self with fake blood while making shrill sounds
    Step2: Blaspheme
    Step3: ????
    Step4: Profit

  5. keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 10:01 am

    Ahh, the mysterious step 3. Funny how life imitates performance art.

  6. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 10:10 am

    I don’t know, my life seems to lean towards step 1.

  7. seohack said, on March 28th, 2008 at 11:26 am

    you all ever hear any of Yoko Ono’s work from the 70’s? Where she was just beating on stuff and shrieking? I thought that was as awful as it gets, but apparently there’s no bottom to Well of Stupid Bullshit.

    OMG - I’ve only made it the 2:30 mark. Will she please turn that fucking gun on herself?

    Damn. 1988. That explains the sunglasses.

    They should play this in Guantanamo.

  8. 7 Things I Learned On The Interweb This Week « The Worst SEO Blog Ever! said, on March 28th, 2008 at 12:12 pm

    [...] Crappy goth poetry + ALL CAPS = The Shit of God? No, it’s pretty much just general everyday shit. And the video pretty much represents [...]

  9. micky said, on March 28th, 2008 at 12:12 pm

    Edie Brickel needed the 10,000 maniacs.
    This reminds me of when my sis was about a year old and would reach in her diaper and smear a turd on the wall and write strange messages in it.

  10. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    KW: Yes. Also, my inbox is disturbingly free of your nudity.

    SEO: Thanks for the link!

    micky: I bet she cherishes those home movies.

  11. keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 1:25 pm

    Bagel: Check your inbox again.

  12. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    niice…
    Tho you prolly should look up the definition of ‘naked’

    What’s the tattoo?

    Also, I promise to only show it to Kevin once.

  13. keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 1:35 pm

    Bagel: I don’t believe you. But, go check again.

  14. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    Damn.

    How you doin?

  15. LA Retail Slut said, on March 28th, 2008 at 1:58 pm

    OMFG!!..LMFAO!! That video made my day! Thanks Bagel! It was so stupidly awful that I loved it and could not stop watching and laughing (though it did run a bit long - Diamanda should have cut a few minutes, but I’m guessin Diamanda does whatever the fuck Diamanda wants to do!) Her scream-singing will haunt me for days! I’ll have to go see if she has more…being the horror fan I am…I need to consume more freaky Diamanda!

    I can’t tell if she’s trying to make it rain, pretending to be Jodi Foster in Silence of the Lambs, or summoning the mother ship.
    Truly awesome. I gotta send this to Jason.

  16. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:12 pm

    2 naked bloggers down, a million billion to go.
    Who’s next?

    LARS: Take it off for ЯR, baby.

  17. keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:14 pm

    It’s Full Frontal Friday!

  18. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:15 pm

    wait…3 bloggers.

    We got Zach Action last year.

    (9th one down)

  19. keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:23 pm

    Notice that they’re all male.

  20. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    Yes. Further notice that I’m most definatly not.

  21. keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:27 pm

    Dually noted.

  22. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:30 pm

    ‘dually’ ? Is that sposed to be some clever alliteration?

    One of them is gay, and way prettier than me. Does that count as a half check in the chick column?

    LilBit! Show us your boobs!

  23. keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:32 pm

    Maybe. No.

  24. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    they’re not all gay?

  25. keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:35 pm

    No, Cap, ‘they’ aren’t all gay.

  26. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:35 pm

    Keywork is most def not gay. I’ve seen his bathroom mirror.

    No gay man would let it come to that.

    And Zach is all about the vagina.

    Show us your boobs, cappy.

  27. keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:36 pm

    Oh, and this is a naked party. Show skin to get in.

  28. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    I don’t show my boobs to any one, although I was offered $500 yesterday to show them. swear to god.

    Maybe I missed something in that video let me backtrack.

  29. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:44 pm

    I used to show them all the time when I was drunk, got me into a lot of trouble.

  30. keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    $500? I’m in the wrong industry.

  31. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:48 pm

    swear, I would of if it wasn’t my friends husband. he laid it out on the desk. he’s a pig.

  32. keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    oh my.

  33. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:52 pm

    money..he laid the money on the desk.

  34. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:52 pm

    I’m in.

  35. Naked Keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    Um, that’s really special, Bagel.

  36. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    Don’t tell me, tell the guy who’s flikr I stole it from.
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/madfight/114809974/

  37. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    sorry buddy, changing your name doesn’t qualify you for the position.

  38. Naked Keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 2:59 pm

    Position?

  39. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:03 pm

    it doesn’t make you naked. you have to take your clothes off.

  40. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:06 pm

    go ahead.

  41. Naked Keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    Hey, I’ve already payed the entry fee, balls in your court.

  42. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:20 pm

    No, balls in my inbox.

    Actually, wait…they’re not.
    Are they between your thighs? That’s probably unsafe.

  43. Naked Keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:22 pm

    Bad angle I guess.

  44. Kevin said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:23 pm

    Keywork isn’t gay, but I bet he’d REALLY like a rimjob.

    Nice profile Key ;)

  45. micky said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:24 pm

    Cap,
    Take the 500 so you can fly here and I’ll show you my 40 lb cock.
    We all know you have multiple breasts, bitch.

  46. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    I didn’t see any proof of payment.

  47. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:26 pm

    elephantiasis much, micky?

  48. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    that’s cause i’m a bitch.

  49. Naked Keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    I got a rimjob from a stewardess once. Thanks, Kev.

  50. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    he just likes to dream.

  51. Kevin said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:28 pm

    Oh! So did I key. We have so much in common.

  52. Naked Keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:30 pm

    Here comes the rub.

  53. WDL said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:30 pm

    bagel, when did you start asking for nudes? i feel violated, and dirty.

    but I did before I logged on. I have to stop having sex behind the home depot on my lunch hour.

    but a boy does need spending cash.

    xo,
    WDL

  54. Naked Keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    Dumpster sex, WDL, dumpster sex.

  55. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    micky, WDL: Keys in the punchbowl, boys! Make with the jpegs.

    Also, Cappy: Key’s in the punchbowl again…See if you can’t get some coffee in him, maybe splash some water on his face.

  56. Naked Keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:40 pm

    I’m having flashbacks. My ex and I attended a key party. Well, we didn’t know we were at one. Then my friend’s wife got really naked. That was different, strange, probably not the best decision we ever made.

  57. micky said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:44 pm

    We ?
    Please elaborate.

  58. Naked Keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    Oh, well, my friends wife made a comment about fucking me, noone protested, so, the sex happened. Next thing I know, there’s my friend, and my ex. Having the sex next to the sex already in progress.

  59. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    Sex is like yawning.

    Except you’re not sposed to do it in a room full of children.

  60. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    swingers?

  61. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 3:55 pm

    Sex is like candy

    you want as much of it as you possibly can get.

  62. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 4:03 pm

    and it rots your teeth.

  63. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 4:06 pm

    not if you floss.

  64. Naked Keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    I prefer ’swingerish’ or ‘open to fucking other people’.

  65. micky said, on March 28th, 2008 at 4:08 pm

    My buddy and I screwed a chick in a van in a Dennys parking lot. After I saw him stick that worm in her I was glad I was first.

  66. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    monkey see, monkey do your wife.

  67. micky said, on March 28th, 2008 at 4:20 pm

    And your father is a fucking Racoon

  68. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 4:27 pm

    “My buddy and I screwed a chick in a van in a Dennys parking lot”

    who hasn’t

  69. Naked Keywork. said, on March 28th, 2008 at 4:30 pm

    I was receiving a blowjob from a pregnant girl in my truck in the Denny’s parking lot. Some girl walked right up to my window, which was rolled down, and asked me for some directions. I kept the pregnant girls head down and proceeded to tell the other girl how to get back to the freeway.

  70. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 4:36 pm

    I was pregnant and gave a blowjob in the denny’s parking lot. no one ask for directions though.

  71. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 4:38 pm

    I ate at a Denny’s once. It tasted like abortion.

    Yo micky: I got your back over at Jenice’s place

  72. capricorn1966 said, on March 28th, 2008 at 4:41 pm

    you’re right bagel the only thing denny’s was good for was doing drugs in the bathroom.

  73. Naked Keywork said, on March 28th, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    Cap, a few of my exes would say the same about me.

  74. micky said, on March 28th, 2008 at 5:19 pm

    Cap, go to dennys alot ?

  75. micky said, on March 28th, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    Its heartwarming Bagel and gang, thanks.

  76. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    It popped up on my dashboard under “my comments”

    I saw him picking on your spelling… at least I think that’s what he was doing; I don’t have the attention span to decode his run-on sentences.

    I hate hypocrites.

  77. Jenice said, on March 28th, 2008 at 5:44 pm

    Why do I all of a sudden want to don a black mini dress, stilettos, red lipstick, a white electric guitar and slick back my hair?

  78. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    Because you’re a trollop.

  79. Jenice said, on March 28th, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    Oh yea. And I have to give Bagel props for being a stand up lady. She’s killing that dumb ass over atmy blog. So is my favorite ‘coon. He he.

  80. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    That’s racist. I’m offended.

    I’m going to tell the black person I met once.

  81. Jenice said, on March 28th, 2008 at 5:48 pm

    In that case, you would only be telling me and I’m the one who said it.

  82. Naked Keywork said, on March 28th, 2008 at 5:48 pm

    Yeah! Jenice said coon!

  83. micky said, on March 28th, 2008 at 5:53 pm

    I’m gonna buy a blonde afro.

  84. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 28th, 2008 at 5:56 pm

    We missed you around here, Jen.

  85. Soylent Ape said, on March 28th, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    I started listening to Diamanda Galas when I was in college. She’s definitely not Cheap Trick or Nelly Furtado. Most people can’t listen to her just any time. Some of her early work is too blasphemous for me to listen to, even.

    Still, there are times when her shrieks and bellows can be quite cathartic.

  86. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 29th, 2008 at 3:11 am

    You’ve actually heard of this oozing orifice? You’re much weirder than I give you credit for.

  87. Soylent Ape said, on March 29th, 2008 at 4:50 am

    Believe it or not, she’s classically trained in vocals and piano. She used to perform with the San Diego Symphony Orchestra when she was a teenager.

  88. micky said, on March 29th, 2008 at 11:45 am

    I’d fuck her.

  89. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 29th, 2008 at 12:00 pm

    Thought you didn’t like white wymmin?

  90. micky said, on March 29th, 2008 at 12:41 pm

    Not the wonder bread bologna & mayo type.
    besides that isnt she like Armenian, Italian and Greek or something?

  91. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 29th, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    Stoppit! You’re makin me hungered.

  92. Stiletto said, on April 1st, 2008 at 2:00 pm

    ““My buddy and I screwed a chick in a van in a Dennys parking lot”

    who hasn’t”

    Excuse me but some of us have WAY more class than THAT. I had a threesome in a car parked right in front of a French restaurant.

  93. The Bagel of Everything said, on April 1st, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    I did it in a camero behind a liqueur sto’ that used to be a Dennys.

    Gotta get my creme de menthe money somehow.

  94. Stiletto said, on April 1st, 2008 at 2:17 pm

    Jesus Christ, creme de menthe? A net search shows the current price for a 750ml bottle.

    You sold your ass for around $10? Hate to know what your blowjobs cost!

  95. Stiletto said, on April 1st, 2008 at 2:17 pm

    At least tell me you owned the Camaro.

  96. micky2 said, on April 1st, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    “Excuse me but some of us have WAY more class than THAT. I had a threesome in a car parked right in front of a French restaurant.”

    Jaque`in the box

  97. The Bagel of Everything said, on April 1st, 2008 at 2:27 pm

    I’ve never owned a Camaro in my life! I’m not that trashy!

    Creme de Menthe tastes like green nyquil. It’s … unpleasant.

  98. micky2 said, on April 1st, 2008 at 3:08 pm

    I dont know what the fuck you two are talking about.
    You can anything in thios car look good.
    http://homepage.mac.com/atomicshark/08-CAMARO-ATOMICSHARK.jpg

  99. micky2 said, on April 1st, 2008 at 3:09 pm

    But it wont improve your spelling

  100. Stiletto said, on April 1st, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    “Creme de Menthe tastes like green nyquil. It’s … unpleasant.”

    Does it taste as bad as a Dirty Sanchez, Bagel?

  101. Stiletto said, on April 1st, 2008 at 6:07 pm

    I see all kinds of illegal things happening inside that car, Micks.

  102. micky2 said, on April 1st, 2008 at 6:30 pm

    I would dry hump the hood

  103. Stiletto said, on April 1st, 2008 at 7:28 pm

    Would this be before or after you sat your ass and spun on the gear shift?

  104. micky2 said, on April 1st, 2008 at 7:57 pm

    Fuck you, at least it would be my gear shift.
    Beats the hell outta screwing two guys in front of a jack in the box in a Hugo

  105. Stiletto said, on April 1st, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    No, fuck you very much. It was a guy and a girl. Get your info correct, gear shift boy!

  106. micky2 said, on April 1st, 2008 at 8:47 pm

    So it was in a hugo in front of a jack in the box !

    Lets make a jack sandwich, oooh.

  107. Stiletto said, on April 2nd, 2008 at 1:22 am

    I think Bagel disappeared to go make love. There was a lot of hot sex talk today.

  108. Stiletto said, on April 2nd, 2008 at 1:23 am

    As long as there’s no “cheesy melt” to melt the world with you. That commercial is absolutely disgusting!

  109. micky2 said, on April 2nd, 2008 at 1:42 am

    does it remind you of all the latex stuck in your teeth ?

  110. Stiletto said, on April 2nd, 2008 at 12:47 pm

    It reminds me of all the shit dripping from your dick.

  111. micky2 said, on April 2nd, 2008 at 1:10 pm

    If you stopped chewing on the condoms that wouldnt happen

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