Ration Reality

Stolen Beer Suit

Posted in beer, crime, michigan, news by Soylent Ape on March 25th, 2008

 brilliant!
Michigan Police Search for Stolen Beer Costume

Detroit–Metro cops are uniting behind a heinous case the likes of which haven’t been seen in the notorious city before. Could they be investigating a septuple-homicide on the west end? A massive drug ring? A serial arsonist? Nahhh! This is Detroit we’re talking about. There aren’t enough police resources in the whole department to handle all the “serious” crimes that happen in this unfortunate city, plus the cops there know that those things usually take care of themselves, anyway.

No, the crime in question was the theft of a novelty costume. But not just any costume–a 6 ft.-tall Guinness pint glass costume. The costume, lent by a large Detroit bottling company for Halloween, was stored in the borrower’s garage since October. When the bottler asked for it back, the $3000 costume was not to be found. The costume was flown from Ireland to used for promotional purposes. It is believed that there is only 1 other such costume in the US. Police said they would closely monitor local St. Patrick’s Day parties for the suit, believing it to be the most likely time for the costume to be worn publicly.

Sources: The Associated Press - Canoe News - The Detroit News


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39 Responses to 'Stolen Beer Suit'

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  1. micky2 said, on March 25th, 2008 at 1:16 pm

    O.K. Everyone go get a 50 gallon drum and paint it like this one

  2. alabastard said, on March 25th, 2008 at 1:51 pm

    Remember when people were stealing the giant Spongebob’s from Burger Kings?

  3. micky2 said, on March 25th, 2008 at 1:58 pm

    We had a guy in Hawaii with a huge house on the beach with a 10 ft. tall Bobs big boy in his front yard for years. Everytime I would drive by I was convinced he stole the damn thing. Becasue it was before we had Bobs big boy here. So I figured he shipped it over from the mainland and no one here really knew what it was.
    Well… my sister bought the house last year and it turns out it was owned by a Bobs big boy executive who actually owned the statue.
    So far we only have one “Sonic”( in a hotel lobby) 2 ” Wendys” and no ” In n out burgers”

  4. micky2 said, on March 25th, 2008 at 1:58 pm

    We now have Bobs big boys in Hawaii

  5. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 25th, 2008 at 2:32 pm

    Micky: I love sonic & wendy’s! Never eaten at Bobs. You won’t get an In n Out cuz they refuse to build them very far from the HQ.

    Welcome to ЯR, Alabastard! I do remember that. There was a woman who got sued for putting one for sale on eBay, but she swore her manager gave it to her.

  6. keywork. said, on March 25th, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    Shit, I was just thinking I need to hire a giant beer for campaign functions.

  7. micky2 said, on March 25th, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    My friends and I made six bud cans out of 50 gal drums for halloween about 20 years ago and went as a six pack

  8. keywork. said, on March 25th, 2008 at 3:08 pm

    Who went as a six pack girl?

  9. LA Retail Slut said, on March 25th, 2008 at 3:13 pm

    That costume is worth 3 grand? Damn. They are gonna be seriously pissed at me when they find out I cut a hole in the crotch. Better go ditch it somewhere…

    and Wendy’s sounds good Bagel.. Going there now! What can I get you?:)

    Sorry, darlin. The spam catcher snatched your comment –bagel

  10. micky2 said, on March 25th, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    St Pauli

  11. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 25th, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    Key, we could get Milwaukee’s Beast in kegs, toss in a clump of clay, and paint it like a Guinness keg.

    Can I be your financial adviser?

  12. keywork. said, on March 25th, 2008 at 3:15 pm

    Nice.

  13. keywork. said, on March 25th, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    Hmm. I dunno, sounds risky.

  14. micky2 said, on March 25th, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    Typical broad. ” Can I count the money?”
    Let have all the beer she wants and at least we’ll all get a laugh

  15. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 25th, 2008 at 3:28 pm

    LA: A spicy jack with lots of mayo and no ketchup or mustard. Why do they put all 3 of those together? It looks like bloody pus.

    and the biggest diet coke they have, easy on the ice.

  16. keywork. said, on March 25th, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    Vomit. But, while you’re out, Slut, um, I’ll take a baconater with no mayonnaise. In a bag separate from Bagel’s order. Micky, I’m all for it. When she gets drunk she chases her tail. She was the most popular preschooler on the block.

  17. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 25th, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    …until that game of ‘ill show you mine if you show me yours’

    Seems I wasn’t sposed to have one of those

  18. keywork. said, on March 25th, 2008 at 3:40 pm

    Amazing how cruel human children can be. Had it been attached to your body, I think they may have been a little more understanding about the whole situation. Daddy did some hard time for that incident.

  19. micky2 said, on March 25th, 2008 at 6:13 pm

    Hmmm…
    Loose tail.

  20. micky2 said, on March 25th, 2008 at 9:19 pm

    After my next colonoscopy I’ll have to try a baconater.
    Yea bagel , I’ve heard the St. Pauli story before, but your father asked

  21. Soylent Ape said, on March 25th, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    Sometimes, I’ll drive to Charlotte just to get a Jumbo Jack, taco and rings from Jack in the Box! Manna from Heaven, I say. Wendy’s is decent enough. The Baconator is fucking scary, though.

    @ Bagel: You’ve eaten at a Shoney’s; it’s pretty much the same thing as a Bob’s Big Boy. In fact, Mr. Schoenbaum’s Shoney’s chain were once all Big Boys.

    @ Micky: St. Pauli Girl is brewed in Germany, but not sold there under that name. A friend of mine from Hamburg saw a sixer of it in a store in WV and laughed his ass off. He said that St. Pauli was the red light district of Hamburg, and “St. Pauli Girl” was synonymous with “hooker” or, possibly “stripper”.

    @ Key: Don’t fall for that “financial advisor” bit. Trust me.

    @ Alabastard: Y’all come back now, y’hear!

  22. micky2 said, on March 25th, 2008 at 11:19 pm

    Sorry Soy, mistook you for bagel.
    How did your comment end up under mine when I was replying to your St. Pauli , baconater comment?

  23. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 25th, 2008 at 11:22 pm

    He had commented from my account. Had to delete it and do it under his…editing the name only would have left my avatar.

    Didin’t realize you’d replied already, sorry.

  24. micky2 said, on March 26th, 2008 at 12:10 am

    Fucking idiots

  25. Soylent Ape said, on March 26th, 2008 at 6:00 am

    Idiots fucking.

  26. micky2 said, on March 26th, 2008 at 11:39 am

    Oh ! I get it !
    You fuckung in front of the computer and accidentaly went in om Bagels account ?
    Are you guys actually sitting next to each other and blogging on the same computer ?
    Are you texting your words right on to the monitor instead of just turning your head to one direction and speaking normally to each other?

  27. Soylent Ape said, on March 26th, 2008 at 5:17 pm

    It works; we don’t question it.

  28. micky2 said, on March 26th, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    Its kind of touching really.

  29. Soylent Ape said, on March 26th, 2008 at 7:39 pm

    Yeah. We’re going to be on Oprah next month.

  30. micky2 said, on March 26th, 2008 at 8:02 pm

    I gotta see this.
    Tell her we all want new computers

  31. Soylent Ape said, on March 26th, 2008 at 9:24 pm

    “You get a computer!” “You get a computer…”

  32. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 27th, 2008 at 6:00 am

    micky: at least we didn’t leave the webcam on…
    this time

  33. Soylent Ape said, on March 27th, 2008 at 6:25 am

    Uh, yeah. Sorry about that.

  34. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 27th, 2008 at 6:49 am

    s’k…my grandma has since tripled my birthday money.

    The muffin basket was kinda creepy, tho.

  35. micky2 said, on March 27th, 2008 at 11:09 am

    Bagel:
    Can we see when you did ?
    Should I hide my kid ?

  36. The Bagel of Everything said, on March 27th, 2008 at 11:14 am

    Sure….
    let the kid watch.

  37. micky2 said, on March 27th, 2008 at 3:59 pm

    eew.
    That was meth piss.

  38. Stiletto said, on April 1st, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    That’s amazing! You’re telling me Michiganers have actually heard of Guinness?

  39. Stiletto said, on April 1st, 2008 at 2:08 pm

    “We had a guy in Hawaii with a huge house on the beach with a 10 ft. tall Bobs big boy in his front yard for years. Everytime I would drive by I was convinced he stole the damn thing. Becasue it was before we had Bobs big boy here. So I figured he shipped it over from the mainland and no one here really knew what it was.”

    Yeah, well I’m sure your neighbor clued in to the stolen McDonald’s sign your wife placed high above the bed. You know, “Billions and billions served.”

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