Scientology is Serious Business
Deviant wrote this for us, while awaiting the coming of Tan.
Anonymous Attacks Scientology
or
How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love Religious Persecution
I suggest we start to get this idea of “religious persecution” as a bad thing out of our collective thoughts.
We hear all about how the pilgrims came over here because they were persecuted, but we all know deep down in our hearts that they kind of deserved it.
The pilgrims were assholes.
I think our society can afford to religiously persecute several fringe members of our society like the Mormons, the Scientologists, and ITT Tech graduates, and they should be persecuted just a tad bit. I’m not calling for mass genocide or anything barbaric like that, but the following news story of “persecution” I think is comparable to a light playful hazing:
A group of hackers calling itself “Anonymous”…claims to have knocked the Church [of Scientology's] Web site offline with a distributed denial-of-service attack, in which many computers bombard the victim’s server with requests, overwhelming it with data in the hope of ultimately knocking the system offline. (Hacker’s hit Scientology with Online Attack)
Further Reading:
Operation Clambake — called the DDOS attacks a bad idea.
“Attacking Scientology like that will just make them play the religious persecution card“
Religious persecution? Or just good old fashioned American fun! This so called “religious persecution” is really just good old boy teasing, an American institution that goes as far back as Jefferson dunking Adam’s head into the toilet.
Religious persecution? More like Religious “breaking-of-balls.” Try it sometime!
Serious-ly!
Read more of Deviant’s ЯR posts here.
Bagel’s opinion: K, kids… This Anon v. Scientology drama is all over the internets, but few people seem to know what’s really going down. I believe Scientology is a cult that breaks the law and cheats gullible innocents of their rights. They are rich and powerful enough to get away with it. My own father had over 100 copies of Dianetics when he finally fed himself a bullet.
A few groups, such as xenu.net, have tried to stop them but haven’t had enough juice. Now, millions of internet users are banding together with hacktivism group Anonymous under the name Project Chanology to show the world what Scientology really is.
You do not need an invitation to join Project Chanology. You simply need to act. February 10th is the day. Live protests will be held at Scientology centers. Find something to do.
Fuckers.
Links: WhyAreTheyDead - ChanologyBlog - XenuTV - PartyVan - /b/ - EncyclopediaDramatica - YTMND
One the one hand, Scientologists seem like simply nutcases, but then on the other hand…they’re dangerous nutcases. I mean, they’re responsible for the largest infiltration of the United States government. Definitely a group worth kicking the crap out of.
Just gotta be careful of their character-assassinating lawyers. They’re worse than the RIAA when they don’t have a legal leg to stand on. That’s not going to stop anyone determined, though.
Cody
29 Jan 08 at 2:34 pm
don’t worry, cody, I have a solution for you. Just add “In my opinion” at the beginning or end or your statements and you’re cool!
For example:
In my opinion, Scientology is chock full of pedophiles and is more dangerous to the US than Al Qaeda.
Since, we’re not in Canada or the EU, we’re allowed to voice our opinions! Now if only I can find some sort of clever work-around for all that free music I’ve “borrowed” . . . .
SEO Hack
29 Jan 08 at 3:21 pm
Cody: I have no character. They’ll have to settle for my avatar.
SEO: You could always pay them back.
The Bagel of Everything
29 Jan 08 at 3:23 pm
This has been around for a few days.
for those of you havnt seen it yet, here
http://blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com/thebigblog/archives/130160.asp
micky2
29 Jan 08 at 4:32 pm
Sweet! I love Jerry O’Connell soooo much!
He was the fat kid in Stand By Me, and the hottie scientist in Sliders.
The Bagel of Everything
29 Jan 08 at 4:35 pm
Avatar-assassination, the last resort of bad lawyers!
Cody
29 Jan 08 at 4:43 pm
“How can you trust the testimony of this woman? I mean, look at the hair on her avatar. Isn’t it just the worst thing you’ve ever seen? Get a stylist, lady! Clearly, she is not fit to judge us of anything.”
Cody
29 Jan 08 at 4:45 pm
Find Edwards hairstylist. Hes a great guy.
micky2
29 Jan 08 at 4:48 pm
SEO Hack …..”in my opinion”……hmmmmm……this will open a whole new can of kickass writing for me. Thanks!!!!
Bagel…I loved that fat kid!!!!
trailerparkbarbie
29 Jan 08 at 6:51 pm
You were not there at the beginning of the blog! You were not there! You did not hear or record all the interview!!
Soylent Ape
29 Jan 08 at 6:51 pm
Man, I wish I could take that guy serious. How come I have to smell his reality? That hardly seems right.
anonymous
29 Jan 08 at 7:45 pm
So anonymous has spoken, SO IT SHALL BE!!!
Kevin
29 Jan 08 at 9:43 pm
Yes, but WTF did anon say?
The Bagel of Everything
29 Jan 08 at 10:07 pm
Some guys shit stinks ?
micky2
29 Jan 08 at 10:10 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhOiIbzxzd0
Anonymous replies up there too.
BTW. “Smell your reality” has become my phrase of next week.
Kevin
29 Jan 08 at 10:34 pm
I love the smell of reality in the morning!
No, actually, I don’t.
Cody
30 Jan 08 at 5:09 am
The Bundesrepublik of Germany does not recognize Scientology as a religion. It treats Scientology as a “Business”. There has been, of late, a movement to ban Scientology from the whole of Germany.
Soylent Ape
30 Jan 08 at 7:33 am
About 30 years ago these fuckers used to have an office a couple blocks from my classes at the U of Hawaii. Every fucking morning the same guy would be out front trying to hawk me into going inside to listen to their fucking pitch. And every morning I told him to get fucked. “I dont like you out here asshole, you think I’m going inside “?
I have serious roots here, although some would think I’m just a white boy from the mainland.
I bought an ice cream and stood across the street one morning and watched this asshole get his ass kicked. In about 5 seconds.
From that day on they would go inside when they saw me coming.
Hare Kristnas are just as bad.
micky2
30 Jan 08 at 8:47 am
This has been something that the internet has wanted for a long time, it just didn’t have the “membership” required to act. If these protests go even semi-well, this will not end for a very long time.
In the very least, if [redacted] is going to make claims of superiority to the mainstream medical community, then they should be held to the same standards. The government should allow for those who feel they are victims of malpractice to sue for damages under medical malpractice statutes.
Also, cocks.
Jim
30 Jan 08 at 9:47 am
@ trailerparkbarbie - just remember i’m not a lawyer! I’m assuming that works, but if they haul your ass to court, I apologize. ;)
seohack
30 Jan 08 at 2:05 pm
Holy shit-this crap is serious?! i must live under a rock! both those vids were creepy…but now im informed…and scientology is for wankers…
Stona Lisa
30 Jan 08 at 2:53 pm
Kevin: Yeah, I’ve seen that. There’s been a call for ppl to stop making silly videos under the name anon. It’s making them look bad.
Soy: I’d prolly settle for treating CoS as a business.
I don’t always support anon, but I’m behind them in this.
Micky: I do love a good beat-down. What flavor was your icecream?
Jim: Exactly. And also, boobs.
SEO: Never apologize. Courts consider it an admission of guilt.
The Bagel of Everything
30 Jan 08 at 2:53 pm
Stona: Yeah, it’s for real. Go look around this site, if you’ve got time:
http://xenu.net/
The Bagel of Everything
30 Jan 08 at 3:13 pm
chunky monkey
micky2
30 Jan 08 at 3:21 pm
I imagine ‘reality’ would smell like Drakkar Noir, Dep, blood and urine. Sadly, it would sell well.
keywork.
30 Jan 08 at 3:29 pm
We could make it into a cologne. And market it under Britney Spears’ name.
Cody
30 Jan 08 at 4:04 pm
You would need to add vomit, unwashed vagina, and dirty diapers to the boquet to get the Spears tag.
keywork.
30 Jan 08 at 4:17 pm
Damn, forgot ‘fried chicken’.
keywork.
30 Jan 08 at 4:19 pm
and oreos
The Bagel of Everything
30 Jan 08 at 4:28 pm
smells like teen sprite.
keywork.
30 Jan 08 at 4:31 pm
I went to the Hare Krishna Temple of Gold in the northern panhandle of my state (WV).
Those crazy asshats are all over you like buzzards on a shit wagon.
Funny, though…..there they were wearing their whatever-they-call those robe/dresses with Nike shoes sticking out from underneath. Had me wondering if they had robbed a shoe store or what.
They send in the big guns to entice you…..harp playing women and elephant riding men. Kinda like a circus. And, who wouldn’t wanna join the circus?
Gimme some of dat reality. If I could put my reality in a bottle, it would be called “Fumes of Hellhole”.
trailerparkbarbie
30 Jan 08 at 4:38 pm
Fuck that, TPB, the circus comes with clowns. More than likely, the Krishnas made those fucking Nikes. Their temples look bad ass, though. I might model my first house after the temple near Wimberly, Tx. It looks like a big golden testicle.
keywork.
30 Jan 08 at 4:48 pm
You could make a pee-pee instead of a tee-pee.
Their temple is run down and looks like a ghetto with chipping bling now.
Their royal hineyass or whatever you call him got thrown in the pokey for infringement rights. The idiots were mass producing hats and stuff that were copyrighted.
Turns out, he was then charged with conspiracy to commit murder. Makes me think of Charlie Manson in a dress and a dreamy look on his face.
trailerparkbarbie
30 Jan 08 at 5:05 pm
this is what happens when science fiction conventions spawn religions. Robert Heinlein tells the story of how scientology started in one of his forwards. If the part of my brain that affects memory ever recovers I’ll find it so you folks can read it. The gist of it is scientology was a stupid bet gone horribly wrong
criminyjicket
30 Jan 08 at 6:15 pm
I’d heard that Hubbard created it as a fictional religion for one of his books, and Heinlein bet him $10 that he couldn’t get people to join it. I thought it was urban legand tho. I’d like to see Heinlein’s writing on it. I love Heinie, even if he was a pedo. I’m also rather fond of Hubbard’s sci-fi. The book Battlefield Earth was exactly was awesome as the movie wasn’t.
Even if it is true, about the bet, Hubbard sure seems to have embraced his newfound importance.
The Bagel of Everything
30 Jan 08 at 6:19 pm
Hare Krishna in Waikiki kept trying to put a flower behind my ole ladys ear.
You know, then they ask for a donation. She had lost her hair cuz of bad medicine and the fucker knocked her wig off in front of hundreds of people on the street.
I stood on his rat tail and kick him in the balls. His Hare buddys just stood there and watched.
Fucking organized religion.
micky2
30 Jan 08 at 6:35 pm
I thought Hare Krishnas went out with the ’80s. Last time I saw one was when I last watched Airplane…
Cody
30 Jan 08 at 7:02 pm
@ Cody: If you’ll remember, Lloyd Bridges punched a Scientologist in the gut while walking through the terminal.
@ Bagel: Sounds like your father could have used some psychological. help. But, then, I “don’t know the history of psychology. I’m glib”.
Soylent Ape
30 Jan 08 at 7:07 pm
I wish we could all punch a Scientologist in the gut. On a daily basis. I’m gonna make that a law once I’m elected. Yep.
keywork.
30 Jan 08 at 8:50 pm
I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
Kevin
30 Jan 08 at 8:55 pm
At least you have the self control to pick when to stop.
keywork.
30 Jan 08 at 9:03 pm
Key, Bagel,
Actually there was no “chunky monkey” when the Dianetics bitch got his ass kicked.
I think it was peppermint. That was in like 1978. I dont think Ben and Jerry were even born yet. But this asshole tried to pitch a 450 lb. Samoan friend of mine. His head hit the sidewalk before anything. I gave him an ice cream too when he sat up.
The Hare Kristna thing was on the main drag in Wakiki around 78 or 79. They would bring there stupid Pier 1 instruments made in China with them and sing and dance all over the sidewalk. Fucking pests would steal the flowers they used to get donations from peoples yards.
micky2
30 Jan 08 at 9:43 pm
Keywork: looks like someone never saw Airplane! :)
Kevin
30 Jan 08 at 10:44 pm
We had ATMs before anyone in the world here. And no, the girls are not running around topless living in grass shacks. Because of where I live I do more flying than the average guy. Its the best way to go interisland cuz the fucking moonbats are protesting the only ferry we have
micky2
30 Jan 08 at 10:47 pm
as i recall Bagel, and this is spotty because i finished reading all of heinleins books years ago, there were several writers there, and L. Ron stated that anyone with the creativity to write decent fiction could start a religion. The others gave him the ol razzberry so he bet them. I have all the boooks in a box somewhere, and when i find the time to beat my kids into finding the heinleins I’ll get you the answer.
Battle field earth was as spectacular a book as mission earth was an atrocious though entertaining series of satire…if you ever feel like wating a couple of weeks reading thirteen volumes of L.Ron check out the series.
criminyjicket
30 Jan 08 at 11:26 pm
There is never a right time to stop sniffing glue, Kevin.
Micky: I have a thing for big Samoans
CJ: Damn, you’ve read them all? Shit! I’ve been reading Heinlein since I was 10 and I’m not even 1/3 way through his biblio.
Tell your kids about Stranger in a Strange Land, and promise to let them read it — they’ll have that box found in no time!
The Bagel of Everything
31 Jan 08 at 12:43 am
I’m thinking that, if your religion was started on a bet, maybe you should look into another one.
Soylent Ape
31 Jan 08 at 9:54 am
Soy,
Not if you stand to make some money.
micky2
31 Jan 08 at 10:34 am
I’ve always noticed how Tom Cruise is always on the Scientology thing making himself look like some kind of Simon Bar Sinister. While John Travolta seems to still look like a half reasonable and likeable guy.
Maybe Travolta has pulled from some of the better aspects of Scientology and applies it to his life in rational terms. This would make sense for someone who is either agnostic or athiest.
But Tom? I think hes just a fucking nut.
micky2
31 Jan 08 at 10:45 am
I have a theory about John Travolta and Battlefield Earth and Church of Scientology. Wanna hear it? Here it goes!
It’s said that CoS pumps celebs for private info, kinda like confession, then uses that info to blackmail the celeb into doing what they want. They can’t leave the church, can’t denounce it publicly or all their own closet-skeletons will be made public.
L. Ron’s novel Battlefield Earth was such an awesome book, it had to take real skill and cunning to make it into the horrible film that it was.
I think John Travolta (a noted member of CoS) intentionally made it a bad film and made sure the Scientology name was strongly associated with it, to make the church look foolish. Excellent passive-aggressiveness.
The Bagel of Everything
31 Jan 08 at 6:07 pm
not so…John did all he could to save the movie. He had to..they were going to squeal on him about the Horschak felching incident.
I liked Heinlein, but in retrospect his books were just a little fluffy. His obvious hatred for all things adult male (read number of the beast) turned him into a bit of a surface dweller. So many of his books scratched the surface of a real emotional and intellectual depth. I’m wondering how much self loathing went on there.
criminyjicket
31 Jan 08 at 7:25 pm
Number of the Beast was an odd book. Everything he wrote after his heartattack was just masturbatory solipsism.
His early, juvenile fiction really holds my interest. Tunnel in the Sky is one of my fave stories ever.
I made this banner last fall…you might get a giggle.
The Bagel of Everything
31 Jan 08 at 7:33 pm
Bagel: L. Ron’s novel Battlefield Earth was such an awesome book, it had to take real skill and cunning to make it into the horrible film that it was.
John Travolta neither has that skill nor that cunning, so there goes your theory.
Kevin
31 Jan 08 at 10:32 pm
chuckle…you’re right….I did enjoy the banner. I’ll take your word on the masturbatory solipsism, ans I have neither the time nor the inclination to look up masturbatory.
Real quick, didn’t the cat who walked through walls make you wish Heinlein had died sooner?
criminyjicket
31 Jan 08 at 10:36 pm
I liked it! Much better than those Lilian Jackson Braun books! It’s for a hardcore fan tho…someone who’d recognise all the characters. I think he knew he was dying, wanted to close all the loose ends.
The Bagel of Everything
31 Jan 08 at 10:39 pm
maybe that was my issue…too many loose ends tied up in to light a book.
Damn Bagel, had I known you read books I would of beem way more impressed with you than I used to be. *S*
criminyjicket
31 Jan 08 at 10:57 pm
I do read. I even went to collidge!
The Bagel of Everything
31 Jan 08 at 10:58 pm
sure…I objectify one woman on the planet and it turns out she has a brain….way to fuck it up for me bags
criminyjicket
1 Feb 08 at 10:16 pm
I’m starting a new religion based on costumes, superpowers AND sex. It will be called ‘Entomology’. No wait…
Jokes apart, ‘Scientology’ is the most ridiculous thing human beings have ever created. Do Americans really believe in that?
E.
Entomo
2 Feb 08 at 11:47 am
CJ: Objectify away, big boy.
Entomo: They’re in Italy, as well. Will you join the protest on Feb. 10? This link will help you find a center:
http://locator.scientology.org/scn/
The Bagel of Everything
2 Feb 08 at 3:07 pm
E: I think there are a few Americans that do. Can not tell you why, nor do I really want to try to figure that one out.
Bagel: Protest? Nice. That would be funny. Id be afraid they would start pointing out objects and chanting to try to bring me to sobriety. Although, I heard they can not get angry or strike a drunk so I think I will be safe. I’ll remember to bring the booze.
sportypenny
2 Feb 08 at 3:48 pm
I thought ‘protest’ was code for ‘lets get drunk in front of a church.’
The Bagel of Everything
2 Feb 08 at 4:05 pm
I see we are on the same page! Nice Bagel.
sportypenny
2 Feb 08 at 4:11 pm
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