The West Virginia Chronicles, Vol. 3: Coal Mining
Coal Mining. It’s hard to imagine what would make someone hunch over at the waist or even crawl on hands and knees through a hole dug into a mountain with dangerous, unwieldy machinery, all the while praying that you won’t end up getting a hand torn off by a “seam ripper”, flooded by runoff or crushed by a collapsing column of overhead rock. And, if that’s not enough to make someone up his life insurance benefit, there’s always the deadly gases that can cause violent explosions deep within a mountainside. Well, when you live in Mingo, Logan or Boone County (among others) in West Virginia, you know the answer to that. You do it because it might be the only opportunity you might have to make a living and provide well for your family. Some geographical areas of the State are sustained– economically, at least– almost exclusively by the mining industry. Sure, you might work as an X-Ray technician, railroad track supervisor or grocery clerk, but your job is still tied to to coal mining, directly or otherwise.
Statistically-speaking, coal mining is one of the most dangerous occupations in the country. (The most dangerous is that of commercial fisherman.) Still, thousands strap on their helmets and lanterns and go underground day-after-day. In fact, cottage industries have been made from the willingness of Mountaineers to risk their lives in a mine for a livelihood. Mineral-rich Australia has, in recent years, found West Virginians to have the most ideal skills and work ethics needed to work in its mines. With mines operating in every Australian state, you’d think there would be a queue of Aussies clamoring to get a mining job…
Not so.
Thus far, native Australians have not numbered high enough to adequately man the mines. In one of the more bizarre cases of international outsourcing, West Virginians have for many years been recruited by Aussie mine operators and agents thereof to work “down under” the Land Down-Under. Many a bloke has left his family to take the Day-plus-long flight from Charleston to Sydney, Perth, Melbourne or other major Australian cities to work for several months at a time. In fact, in certain counties in the southern coalfields, it is rare to find someone who doesn’t know someone who has worked in Australia. It’s no coincidence that WV-based miners are a high priority: they grew up in a mining culture and have already gotten their certification. They likely already have a great deal of underground experience, which keeps training/retraining costs low for the companies. Because of this, such opportunities usually provide exceptional compensation. It isn’t unheard of for some to make around $100,000 for 8 or 9 months’ work–an income significantly higher than the average miner in West Virginia.
So here’s a toast to the bonzer blokes of the Mountain State that do the work those looney Australian bastards are too smart to attempt themselves. Cheers, mates!
Related posts: The West Virginia Chronicles, vol. 2: Bad Rap/The Gilligan Connection
The West Virginia Chronicles, Vol. 1: Defeated by WV
please tell me these guys are going over there and working illegally . . . . that would be so fucking awesome . . . . ..
hell, with the dip in the dollar, I’m guessing a lot of American workers (well, except for the lazy ones like me) are starting to look pretty good to markets overseas.
SEO Hack
28 Jan 08 at 12:41 pm
Australians are hot. If I had to be shipped to Australia to man their mines, then strap a flashlight helmet on me and give me a parrot in a cage.
I’d want to man all their mines…and by that I mean ANAL SEX.
Kevin
28 Jan 08 at 3:17 pm
Well, at least subtlety isn’t a recurring theme here at RR. Kevin, I think we all know that just about everything you leave in the comment section refers to anal sex.
keywork.
28 Jan 08 at 3:26 pm
yeah-but its hot!
Stona Lisa
28 Jan 08 at 4:04 pm
Iron workers are 4th on the list. I did this for three years. It takes a certain kinda crazy fucked up but devoted indidvidual with a good work ethic to do these kinda jobs.
Hats off to these guys
http://conte2006.com.hosting.domaindirect.com/dangerous_jobs.htm
micky2
28 Jan 08 at 4:14 pm
mining is a little different than manufacturing, iron working (I work in a foundry and am a member of the USW. 1/2 of all manufacturing deaths would be eliminated by following OSHA’s simple guidelines regarding lockout/tagout, and fall arrest gear.
good post soylent
criminyjicket
28 Jan 08 at 5:18 pm
Keywork, sometimes its about oral sex, or defenestration.
Miners are totally gay btw. Real men are drillers.
Kevin
28 Jan 08 at 7:43 pm
@ SEO: It would be quite ironic, wouldn’t it. Unfortunately, the labor laws in Australia are very stringent. Imagine that!
@ Kevin: I agree; Australians are hot. I had the opportunity to go out with a cute Aussie sheila, but I was already married. She said “S’olroight– ‘ave a goodna’, mate!” Then she smiled her squinty smile and hopped away!
@ Mickey: Thanks. Iron working is undoubtedly a rough job I could never do it because I’m a huge klutz. I have a good friend in that line of work who shattered his hand . It was broken in dozens of places. Doctors couldn’t get the bones to heal and he’s fucked, jobwise. Given all the horrifying ways to get injured in a foundary/on a site, he got off lucky.
@ Criminy: I had a boss who was once a union steward at a U. S. Steel plant outside Pittsburgh. He’d write up 20 + grievances a day. When a rule resulted from someone’s death, they used to say it was “written in blood”. Keep it safe, friend!
Soylent Ape
28 Jan 08 at 9:38 pm
SEO: My cousin went a few years ago. What I hear is the aussies are scared to go down in the hole, but WV miners have done it for so many generations (often they immigrated from mining families in Ireland) that it’s second nature.
Kevin: I’m glad to see you’re doing what you can to beat the stereotype of the vacuous, sex-obsessed gay man. Good job!
Key: Who you callin unsubtle, you raccoonman?!
Stona: Very much so!
Micky, CJ: Upstate WV has out of work metallurgists. I wonder if they’re getting the call as well?
Soy: o rly? Do tell…
The Bagel of Everything
28 Jan 08 at 10:09 pm
Bagel: you, you spawn of said raccoonman.
Kevin: seriously, you talk about ass more than a straight man. wait, I sense a moment of irony followed by a quick comment from bagel….
keywork.
28 Jan 08 at 10:26 pm
Quick! It’s a rorschach…
What do you see in this picture?
The Bagel of Everything
28 Jan 08 at 10:39 pm
Houston. Or a really hairy vagina.
keywork.
28 Jan 08 at 11:00 pm
Mobile clusterfuck trying to outrun a gremlin
micky2
28 Jan 08 at 11:29 pm
Looks like Chinatown in Riyadh.
Soylent Ape
29 Jan 08 at 6:17 am
Did anyone notice the tower in the left background that looks as if its gonna come down ?
micky2
29 Jan 08 at 10:03 am
So noone else sees a giant buttfucking orgy train?
The Bagel of Everything
29 Jan 08 at 1:35 pm
Bagel: No, you are the only one that sees that. F is for failure.
keywork.
29 Jan 08 at 1:47 pm
I said clusterfuck
micky2
29 Jan 08 at 1:54 pm
Also, Bagel, Micky and Cappy have devised a rather interesting idea for a campaign poster involving a roasted terrorist. Go check the comments on ‘Staffing’ and let me know if you have the skills to um, well, make something of it.
keywork.
29 Jan 08 at 2:14 pm
Name your terrorist and I’m on it
The Bagel of Everything
29 Jan 08 at 2:23 pm
Al Gore
micky2
29 Jan 08 at 3:35 pm
You’re just as self-obsessed and vacuous than I am, moreso even!
I’m going to a Superbowl Party this weekend too btw :)
Kevin
29 Jan 08 at 4:28 pm
I am not vacuous! I’m just cold and dead inside. There’s a difference, I think.
The Bagel of Everything
30 Jan 08 at 5:22 pm
Aww, cold and dead inside, just like your father. If I was capable of shedding tears, I think this is one of those times where I might.
keywork.
30 Jan 08 at 5:29 pm
“Kevin: seriously, you talk about ass more than a straight man.”
This is what gay men do!
“I’m going to a Superbowl Party this weekend too btw :)”
I’m not sure I want to know if that implies something else.
Stiletto
31 Jan 08 at 1:22 pm
See, and I always thought they all just talked about my ass. Thanks for clearing that up, apparently I’m a conceited prick. Also, Stiletto, I think he is referring to something none of us really need to hear about.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 1:25 pm
Al Gore is not a terrorist! By the way, he did not “invent” the internet, he “created” it. Get it right!
“During my service in the United States Congress I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country’s economic growth and environmental protection, improvements in our educational system”
By the way, if you truly believe Gore is a terrorist, then you have to concede that Bush is too.
But I know you were not being serious! :)
Stiletto
31 Jan 08 at 1:25 pm
And, if you want to go down that road, our entire military is nothing but a large, well funded terrorist group.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 1:27 pm
My last two SuperBowl invites were a disaster.
Last year I got to follow the boyfriend and his wife around in Vegas. Yippee.
A few years before a prospective suitor asked if I would allow myself to be tied up in the bedroom while he and his buddies took turns during commercial breaks and half time. During SuperBowl, of course.
Needless to say, I figured out right then and there he wasn’t good dating material…
Stiletto
31 Jan 08 at 1:28 pm
We could also say our founding fathers were terrorists, no?
But I don’t believe that.
Stiletto
31 Jan 08 at 1:30 pm
Well, at least you know he’s a team player.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 1:30 pm
Stil, by definition, yes, they were. You say ‘terrorist’ like it’s a bad thing.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 1:30 pm
I’m still not so sure about that.
Stiletto
31 Jan 08 at 1:31 pm
Team player or not, I could see a shovel and a ditch in my future that night…
Stiletto
31 Jan 08 at 1:32 pm
Bag of lime or body of water? Probably a good call on your part. Still not sure, Stil? Wiki that shit. Being a terrorist isn’t all suicide bombings and radicals. Just a group of people willing to fight and die for their beliefs. Oh, the stigma.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 1:35 pm
Lime is always the way to go, Key. Not that I would know that. I’ll shut up now.
sportypenny
31 Jan 08 at 1:51 pm
I will think upon it some more. In the meantime, my interest has been captured by this new Heath Ledger drug video. See ya!
Stiletto
31 Jan 08 at 1:52 pm
Why lime? Do tell.
Stiletto
31 Jan 08 at 1:52 pm
It’s a shame because aforementioned crazy guy and I had an incredible night of passion. Why does hot feverish sex only happen with the loons?
Stiletto
31 Jan 08 at 1:54 pm
Correct me if I’m wrong, sportyspice, but I believe the lime aids in the decomposition of the dead. Could be wrong, but I think it actually accelerates said decomposition. Also, sexual deviance (back off, Kevin) is usually the only redeeming aspect of being mildly insane. Wouldn’t know, I’m just guessing here. Ok, I would know.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 2:00 pm
“Why does hot feverish sex only happen with the loons?”
Good question. I hoping to break that theory here pretty quick. I’ll let you know if it actually works!
As for the lime. Lets just say it will never be found. Ever.
sportypenny
31 Jan 08 at 2:00 pm
Key, you are correct to a point. There are other benifits to it as well.
sportypenny
31 Jan 08 at 2:01 pm
Yeah, I know it tends to cover the odor of decay.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 2:03 pm
Your getting there. Who let you out of your box today?
sportypenny
31 Jan 08 at 2:08 pm
Micky, blame him.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 2:08 pm
I would if I could find him. He would get me out of this mess.
sportypenny
31 Jan 08 at 2:17 pm
If America employed the same tactics that terrorist do. The shitheads would probably be extinct right now. Unfortunatly our hands are tied by stupid fucking ROE and geneva conventions and international laws and a bunch of pansy ass bullshit hoops we must jump through just keep up an image. When it doesnt really matter what the fuck we do we get chastised for everything anyway.
Fuck that shit ! Who ever heard of fighting for your life with rules attached ?
Screw that Lime shit. A meat grinder and a Flock of seagulls leaves less residue.
The evidence flys away.
micky2
31 Jan 08 at 2:22 pm
And here I thought Flock of Seagulls just made horrible music. You’ll have to give me their business card. Oh, and the media has done everything in its power to limit our efficiency as terrorists. Re-damn-diculous.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 2:31 pm
Ok, I can’t believe I wasted so much time on the net today. I was supposed to be playing video games. My God, I haven’t even showered. Like almost for a day and a half. I’m not looking forward to taking a whiff of whatever is going on down there.
Stiletto
31 Jan 08 at 2:45 pm
“And here I thought Flock of Seagulls just made horrible music”
Ditto!
Stiletto
31 Jan 08 at 2:46 pm
” And I ran so far away” hmmm…
Good for tortue, put that on a loop and tie the bitch down.
“Itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini” was always good too.
Yea, fucking tag along reporters. Thats just stoooooooooooooopid
micky2
31 Jan 08 at 2:48 pm
Stil, if you can smell ‘down there’ you either A. Really need to overhaul your hygiene practices or B. Are extrememly ‘bendy’ and should be photographed more frequently. I’m thinking it’s A. Please shower, Stiletto, it’s good for you and those around you.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 2:54 pm
Or just stop fucking the baker.
micky2
31 Jan 08 at 3:07 pm
Excuse me but if you worked out and sweated and didn’t take a shower for a day and a half, your hygiene would be suspect, too.
Stiletto
31 Jan 08 at 3:12 pm
That’s why you shower RIGHT AFTER your workout. Jesus, my ex does the same thing.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 3:18 pm
Where are you living ? In fucking shelter ?
Or did meatwad put a camera in the gym shower ?
micky2
31 Jan 08 at 3:21 pm
Sweaty men are hot. Women, not so much. Showers are good. Best ones seem to be first thing in the morning.
sportypenny
31 Jan 08 at 3:28 pm
Yeah, first thing in the morning. Bagel, where ares you?
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 3:31 pm
I usually do but I didn’t have time! What the hell was I doing? I’ve no idea.
In fact, I shower about two to three times a day. However, there’s something humbling about grunging out.
Stiletto
31 Jan 08 at 3:45 pm
I went almost two months without a shower once. I shower every fucking day because I remember that smell. Not good. Not good at all.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 3:51 pm
Unless you want privacy
micky2
31 Jan 08 at 4:00 pm
Thank you key. Please keep up the showers. I really think we all have enough to handle with your current oder.
sportypenny
31 Jan 08 at 4:03 pm
Maybe it was my piss-poor public education, but I don’t recall our founding fathers beheading civilians or anyone else and hanging the heads from bridges and stuff. I thought they were rebels, but not terrorists . . . .
seohack
31 Jan 08 at 4:23 pm
Ok, hack, look. You are grouping all ‘terrorists’ together. If you read what I wrote, you would notice that I made mention of such radicals. Not all terrorism involves decapitation and bridge hangings. Terrorism simply implies violence or the threat of violence. You wouldn’t say that every cup of coffee is going to cause burns just because it’s hot, would you? When I say terrorist, everyone automatically thinks ‘Al Qaeda’. They aren’t the only terrorist organization out there. But they are certainly notorious. I’m not comparing our founding fathers to Al Qaeda. I, having served as a Marine in the Invasion of Iraq in 2003 and again in Fallujah in 2005 am very much not the person to be putting down my country. Your piss-poor public education has done you a disservice in not teaching you to look before you jump, research before you report, etc…
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 4:31 pm
Yea !
micky2
31 Jan 08 at 4:40 pm
If anyone needs an explanation about the coffee referrence in the above comment, I will be more than happy to draw one out.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 4:42 pm
No thanks, seen enough burnt pussy already
micky2
31 Jan 08 at 5:02 pm
Wow, I spend a half day offline and I’m totally lost in this thread!
Welcome, Sportpenny :)
You come to help me keep key in line?
The Bagel of Everything
31 Jan 08 at 5:51 pm
That’s what you get for being an absentee daughter.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 5:53 pm
Does it have anything to do with coffee enemas? I’ve heard of burnt asses, but never of burnt pussy.
Stiletto
31 Jan 08 at 6:35 pm
holy shit who pissed in your cheerios, keywork! I don’t even know how you read my comment as some sort of knock against your service to our nation or your patriotism. Didn’t even know you served. But whatever. At any rate, thank you.
I read your comment as anyone who ever picked up a rifle, knife or stick for whatever reason was some sort of terrorist. so now all of a sudden some dumbfuck sitting across the room and giving me the stink eye is a “terrorist” because “[t]errorism simply implies violence or the threat of violence.” Fuck no! He’s an asshole. Take you for example - are you a terrorist? Fuck no! You’re a Marine. Every fucking quasi-socialist college kid wearing a fucking Che t-shirt is always saying stupid shit like that that they heard from their Sociology professor. It’s an ignorant and lazy connection made by people with a fucking agenda.
seohack
31 Jan 08 at 6:35 pm
“B. Are extrememly ‘bendy’ and should be photographed more frequently.”
How dare you underestimate my flexibility! But you are right. Try as I might, I could never self fellate.
Stiletto
31 Jan 08 at 6:36 pm
Still.
The McDonalds law suit ?
micky2
31 Jan 08 at 6:39 pm
My wife is a terrorist, and the pug.
micky2
31 Jan 08 at 6:42 pm
hack, it just got under my skin a little. By definition, Marines are in fact terrorists. No doubt about it. Read the definition. To America, I am a Marine. True. That’s a title. But to anyone opposing me, I am a most resourceful terrorist in every sense of the word.
Sti: sorry to hear that.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 6:49 pm
Aww what ? No boy fight ?
micky2
31 Jan 08 at 6:51 pm
Fight?
Fight Fight Fight!!!!
He said you’re stupid and wrong.
Discuss.
The Bagel of Everything
31 Jan 08 at 6:56 pm
Hack, that’s not what I was getting at. I know what you’re saying about the college kids/professors, different deal. I guess people have a hard time seeing ‘The Few, The Proud’ as terrorists because of the UCMJ. We aren’t allowed to fight as dirty as we should but maybe that is a good thing. I don’t know, I can tell you that there were certainly some times that Geneva and the ‘ROE’ got in the way of successful mission accomplishment. Our media keeps us in check also. But, even Al Qaeda operate under some loose set of rules/regulations.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 6:58 pm
Bagel, thanks.
I am not sure if anyone can keep Key in line. I will do my best!
sportypenny
31 Jan 08 at 7:04 pm
keywork, I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree. =) I want our military to be the most feared motherfuckers on this planet and on others. At the same time, I think the difference between our Marines and other military forces and Al Qaeda, the IRA, MS-13 the KKK or what have you is the target. Targeting people going to work on a bus or train or cutting loose at a disco? Intimidating little old ladies and children in neighborhoods? Parking moving vans filled to the gills with fert in front of a building? Those seem to be more along the lines of terrorism than a readily identifiable uniformed soldier going door to door looking for rebels and enemy combatants or what have you.
seohack
31 Jan 08 at 7:43 pm
The uniform is a control. Know that the boys in special forces most certainly look more like Al Qaeda than your typical grunt.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 7:51 pm
what are their targets?
seohack
31 Jan 08 at 8:00 pm
thats a secret
micky2
31 Jan 08 at 8:02 pm
We can dilute the word “terrorist” to the point where it might lose its meaning. It seems like our modern, culturally-specific definition is different from what it originally meant. Marines (indeed, all US military personnel) are subject to the Uniform Code… and expected to adhere to the Geneva Convention. Furthermore they operate under sanction of a legitimate, widely-recognized government. Al-Quaeda’s conduct is not limited by such guidelines. Furthermore, “Al Quaeda” is not a state, nor was the IRA, the SLA, Islamic Jihad or most other such entities. (You better fucking believe that Iran is a big-time exception–they are a state and a group of terrorists. Have been for nearly 40 years.)
“Terrorist” certainly has a negative connotation. I can understand SEO’s reluctance to liken Marines to such. However, members of the Corps are trained to have a ruthless, brutal and resourceful attitude toward combat–moreso than any other branch of the Armed Forces, so Key was sort of stating the obvious. I can definitely see both sides here. It’s kind of like a bumper sticker I saw once that said: “It’s not terrorism when /we/ do it!”
BTW, if I haven’t done so before, I want to thank Key and any other RR visitor who has served to protect me and those I hold dear. Sincerely, thanks.
Soylent Ape
31 Jan 08 at 10:08 pm
Exactly, Soy, you get it! Thank you. Oh, and believe me, there were moments during my deployments that the pleasure was all mine. Also, I did get paid to do it.
keywork.
31 Jan 08 at 10:40 pm
“Oh, and believe me, there were moments during my deployments that the pleasure was all mine”
To ask..not to ask…to ask…
Stiletto
1 Feb 08 at 12:04 pm
careful, you may get answers.
keywork.
1 Feb 08 at 12:10 pm
Answers are good.
sportypenny
1 Feb 08 at 12:36 pm
only if you have a strong stomach.
keywork.
1 Feb 08 at 12:43 pm
I think I can hold my own. Try me.
sportypenny
1 Feb 08 at 12:46 pm
So could Rod Stewart
micky2
1 Feb 08 at 12:51 pm
Thanks for that, Micky. Needed to picture that.
sportypenny
1 Feb 08 at 12:52 pm
I saw a lady get her head run over by a bus, popped like a grape and shot up all over the bench at the bustop. Some little kid got splatterded too.
Saw a chick jump off a building in San Diego. She hit a wall on the 2nd floor and it cut her in half. The top half landed about 20 ft. away from me. Some dog came over and started licking her wounds
micky2
1 Feb 08 at 1:18 pm
Nice. Had a little girl crawling at me with her hand and her leg torn off. Dad had half his face gone. Had to take mom out so she would not pick the girl up. Baby under the bumper torn in two I could have done with out. Guys head in the middle of the road after he played chicken and lost with a semi was nice. Blood really tends to make quite the mess.
sportypenny
1 Feb 08 at 1:23 pm
if you know what you’re doing, clean-up isn’t much of a chore.
keywork.
1 Feb 08 at 1:37 pm
I’m gonna go eat breakfast now
micky2
1 Feb 08 at 1:48 pm
It wasn’t the blood that was the issue. Finding the rest of the body parts was the harder part.
sportypenny
1 Feb 08 at 2:39 pm
Lime, anyone?
Stiletto
1 Feb 08 at 5:06 pm
I think I’ll take the blender route on this one. We have lots of gulls around here.
sportypenny
1 Feb 08 at 8:00 pm
Meat grinder Shorty.
micky2
1 Feb 08 at 8:56 pm
The parts are small. Blender is fine. They took my meat grinder a while back. Reason to be left unspoken.
sportypenny
1 Feb 08 at 9:15 pm
Seagulls were never good at drinking soup.
Why do you think every Mafioso has his own pig farm ? We are all part of a food chain that has always been open to supply and demand.
micky2
1 Feb 08 at 11:30 pm
Kind of a satire of Russion history.
sportypenny
1 Feb 08 at 11:47 pm
“Seagulls were never good at drinking soup.”
I want that on a shirt.
The Bagel of Everything
12 Feb 08 at 8:47 am