Bizarre Foreign Commercials Vol III
British Car Commercial
The scene is set. A shiny, cramped-looking car parked in an unassuming neighborhood beguiles a poor kitty-cat with its open sunroof. The cat’s natural curiosity compels it to stick its head inside when the glass closes on the cat’s neck, ultimately decapitating him. This gruesome ad tells me: “Buy a Sportka…if you want to find a cat’s head in your front seat one day!” I’m surprised the British Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals hasn’t waylayed this killer car off of the market. Seriously, they say serial killers start first with animals. Get this psychotic car off of Britain’s motorways!
British Tire–I mean, Tyre Commercial
Continuing with the “cat” theme, this ad features a thrill-junkie set on the ultimate adrenaline rush: passing through an automatic car wash. In a car full of cats. With the windows rolled down. Long may you run, insane cat man; long may you run. This ad tells me that Nokian tyres will turn me into some desperate adrenaline addict looking for the most extreme and dangerous thrills I can imagine. Trust me, I can’t imagine a more extreme and dangerous thrill than driving on my Firestone Wilderness AT light truck radials. Beats a round of Russian Roulette any day.
Japanese Television Network Promo
I can’t begin to tell you how horrifying this promo is. It seems the folks who brought us used underwear vending machines, the capsule hotel and some seriously fucked-up psychoses have taken interactive TV to its ultimate conclusion. I can only imagine if Jerry Seinfeld were to catch me trying to turn his sitcom off. He’d be chasing me down the street saying stuff like, “You want more Jew jokes?” and “Don’t forget to buy Bee Move on DVD!”
Canadian Digital Music Site Commercial
Finally, no “Bizarre Commercial” installment is complete without a visit to those wacko Canucks. When it comes to general wrong-in-the-head-edness in broadcast ads, Canada is king! What’s with Canadians and their bizarro sense of reality? Obviously, this ad has nothing to do with downloading Celine Dion and Triumph songs. However, you can’t argue with the success the record label/e-store called Zunior has had over the last few years partially as a result of its ads. You can expect to see more of them here at RR.
You might recognize cast and crew from WTF film alumnus Once a Year, including Nathan Fielder as the ambushed homeowner and Levi MacDougall as the warped Zunior salesman.
Related posts:
Foreigners are Weird - Bizarre Commercials Vol. 1 - Bizarre Foreign Commercials, Vol. 2
If the sportka can focus on killing squirrels, I’m ordering three of them.
keywork.
16 Jan 08 at 11:11 am
cats kill squirrels
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 11:12 am
I think you have to get the Vauxhall Astra for that, Key.
Soylent Ape
16 Jan 08 at 11:14 am
Damn, I knew the salesman was lying.
keywork.
16 Jan 08 at 11:15 am
Key, your new post is awesome. That’s why you get to be the president.
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 1:19 pm
Thanks, Bagel. Now I just need to figure out how to appeal to rich white folk.
keywork.
16 Jan 08 at 1:23 pm
You could prolly start by not sleeping with their wives. They don’t like that.
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 1:24 pm
Yeah, what a bunch of fucking prudes. I mean, what a lovely bunch of upstanding taxpayers. Wait, no, what a lovely bunch of upstanding capitalists. Fuck it, not like I really need their votes anyway. Just their money. Give me your money, bitches. Thank you.
keywork.
16 Jan 08 at 1:27 pm
The Sportka commercial seriously disturbed me the first time I saw it. Hell, all those commercials disturbed me.
Cody
16 Jan 08 at 2:33 pm
The Japanese one disturbed me in that I’ve never wanted to lick someone’s face so badly.
I wonder if lankyshaggyhairedjapaneseboywatchingtvnexttohismessybed.com is taken? I think I have that fetish now.
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 2:36 pm
British advertisements seem to be so racey..
I hope no animal was injured during the making of this commercial..hahahha
Terrible Lie
16 Jan 08 at 4:32 pm
I like that the Sportka didn’t get blood on it. I need some of that wax.
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 5:15 pm
I like that the cat didn’t have any blood in it. We need to get some of those.
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 5:44 pm
@ Terrible Lie: Welcome! British ads have a tradition of being either very surreal or erudite. The Sportka ad is just a bad concept. Perhaps they did some focus testing and found that a lot of Brits openly despise cats and want them dead. If that was their intent, they should consider using this campaign in Australia.
@ Cody: if you look closely, you can see its little kitty-cat head drop from the sunroof…
@ Bagel: Your obsession with Asian jailbait needs to be examined before it gets you in serious trouble Mrs. Robinson.
@ Keywork: I think it was a cybernetic cat.
Soylent ape
16 Jan 08 at 8:05 pm
Soy, I doubt he’s jailbait. He’s prolly like 40. That’s the beauty of the orient!
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 8:11 pm
@ Bagel? How do explain Hirohito? Or Mr. Miagi? They probably weren’t even 60 yet.
Soylent ape
16 Jan 08 at 8:29 pm
Sorry, Soy…I only have answers to questions I care about.
Important questions, like “What do we get for ten dollars?”
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 9:42 pm
Snopes says the decapitation is computer generated. That’s some damn realistic-looking animation.
Of course, that’s obvious. Who would lop off a cat’s head for a commercial (other than crazy dog people)? But the Snopes article has some other interesting info on the ad, so it was worth a link.
Cody
17 Jan 08 at 12:41 am
@ Cody: I’m certain that if a real cat had been a real one, Ford Anglia would no longer exist. I happen to agree with the theory that Ford is using plausible deniability and making the ad agency the fall guy.
Soylent ape
17 Jan 08 at 7:29 am
Wolf.
Wolf?
Wolf. Wolf. Wolf-wolf-wolf-wolf….
Soylent Ape
17 Jan 08 at 10:42 pm
Anything coming out of the TV, super creeps me out…
Terrible Lie
18 Jan 08 at 1:22 am
Terrible Lie: For me, it’s when ppls heads move unnaturally fast. Especially when they’re shaking them sidetoside and it gets all blurry.
No takers on “What do we get for ten dollars?” C’mon kids, I know you’ve all seen the movie!
bagel of everything
18 Jan 08 at 4:59 am
That Canadian commercial sucked.. That’s just my opinion.. But Canadains still efin rox!
Shummamuclaydo?
Terrible Lie
19 Jan 08 at 2:11 pm
Canadians are definitely cool people. They are gracious, civic and intelligent people who gave us awesome things like ice beer, Rush and the Wonderbra. !Viva Canada!
Soylent Ape
20 Jan 08 at 7:36 pm
And Adam Sandler …
Terrible Lie
21 Jan 08 at 7:08 am
@ Terrible Lie: I thought he was from New Hampshire. I could be wrong. Nevertheless, Canada gave us the King of Zany, Attention-Deficit, Falsetto, Jewish Comedians: Howie Mandel.
Soylent Ape
21 Jan 08 at 7:18 am
hahahahhahahaa Canada gave us the jolly jumper, the snow blower, the zipper, Jim Carey ect.. Your right About Adam Sandler..One of his parents are Canadian but he is not from Canada.. BOO!!!
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE ONTARIAN :
1. “Vacation” means going South past London for the weekend.
2.You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
without flinching.
6. You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
8. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction.
9. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
10. Down South to you means London.
11. Your 1st. of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
12. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
13. You find 0 degrees “a little chilly.”
Terrible Lie
21 Jan 08 at 10:45 pm
Wow, Terrible Lie! That was scarily accurate. May I just add the following:
14. You plan your vacation around black fly season.
15. You have 5 or 6 cinderblocks in your trunk for the whole of winter.
16. Any directions you give start with, “Okay, so you get on the Q.E.W….”
17. Your town’s junior hockey team has its own orthodontist on staff.
18. You constantly see your home/school/office building on American films and TV shows.
19. You’re ’bout to get up in sum shiznit an’ blas’ sum joker like “wha’tcha wan’, bee-yotch”. (Burlington/Ajax only)
20.You use the phrase “fucking-A” with no sense of irony, whatsoever.
Soylent Ape
21 Jan 08 at 11:25 pm
2, 3, and 9 sound like sweet home West Virginia to me :)
bagel of everything
22 Jan 08 at 8:58 am
Who the hell is King of Zany..??
Terrible Lie
24 Jan 08 at 12:11 am
I said: “‘King of Zany, Attention-Deficit, Falsetto, Jewish Comedians: Howie Mandel.”
Soylent ape
24 Jan 08 at 4:47 am
ic ic
Terrible Lie
26 Jan 08 at 11:06 am
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