Reason #18 Why I’m Going to Hell
The Earth is suffocating… Swear to make them cut me open, so that I won’t be buried alive.
– Last words of Frederic Chopin
My mother and I have always had a difficult relationship. Mostly because we’re both evil, controlling bitches. When I was 13, I “came out” to her, just to make her cry. She didn’t. She said something like “so I guess you won’t be needing your birth control refilled.”
I don’t know if she was calling my bluff, or really didn’t give a fuck. I’m straight, btw. Well, mostly. C’mon ladies — either stop being so hot or grow the right equipment. The store-bought ones just don’t do it for me.
I find it funny, and sad at the same time. So many teens who actually are gay are afraid to come out to their parents, and I faked it just to be cruel. It was fun tho — you should totally try it.
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My mother is a rip roaring liberal. She would probably say it was the right thing for me to do. And then go out and buy me a Johnny Mathis collection and some gay sex manuels.
micky2
16 Dec 07 at 12:00 pm
With a manual.
micky2
16 Dec 07 at 12:02 pm
manually
bagel of everything
16 Dec 07 at 12:29 pm
…with Manuel.
Soylent Ape
17 Dec 07 at 7:13 am
Ith so nyth when we all agree.
Thilly girl
micky2
17 Dec 07 at 10:04 am
Wait, I forgot what we were talking about.
Are you faking a lisp now? That’s offensive to me. ;b
The Bagel of Everything
31 Jan 08 at 10:28 pm
Bagel, thats good shit. My dads an ass and I did the same thing when I was 15. He lost it though. It was funny as hell. And, no, store bought is just not the same!
sportypenny
31 Jan 08 at 11:10 pm
What lithsp ?
micky2
1 Feb 08 at 10:44 am
Thith one.
keywork.
1 Feb 08 at 11:03 am
Fuck you bitsth
micky2
1 Feb 08 at 11:09 am
Isth Kevin pissthed now ?
micky2
1 Feb 08 at 11:10 am
Sportpenny: It’s fun to be an asshole, isn’t it?
Micky: Don’t restart the drama, plz.
The Bagel of Everything
1 Feb 08 at 11:20 am
Ith all good. Ith innothent humor
micky2
1 Feb 08 at 11:44 am
Bagel: Sure is. My boyfriend is getting used to it, I think. If not, oh well. Not my problem!
sportypenny
1 Feb 08 at 12:38 pm
Welcome to ЯR, SportPenny.
I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you the following friendly questions:
1) Are you now, or have you ever been, a blogger?
2) Do you find dead baby jokes to be:
- a) disgusting
- b) offensive
- c) hilarious
- d) all of the above
3) When did you receive your first serious head injury?
4) What are your thoughts on mudkip?
5) Who’ll stop the rain?
The Bagel of Everything
1 Feb 08 at 8:20 pm
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