Ration Reality

Reason #18 Why I’m Going to Hell

Posted in Homosexuality, confessions, evil, ignorance, nostalgia, pride, sexuality by The Bagel of Everything on December 16th, 2007

The Earth is suffocating… Swear to make them cut me open, so that I won’t be buried alive.
– Last words of Frederic Chopin

My mother and I have always had a difficult relationship. Mostly because we’re both evil, controlling bitches.  When I was 13, I “came out” to her, just to make her cry. She didn’t.  She said something like “so I guess you won’t be needing your birth control refilled.”

I don’t know if she was calling my bluff, or really didn’t give a fuck. I’m straight, btw. Well, mostly.  C’mon ladies — either stop being so hot or grow the right equipment. The store-bought ones just don’t do it for me.

I find it funny, and sad at the same time. So many teens who actually are gay are afraid to come out to their parents, and I faked it just to be cruel. It was fun tho — you should totally try it.

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16 Responses to 'Reason #18 Why I’m Going to Hell'

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  1. micky2 said, on December 16th, 2007 at 12:00 pm

    My mother is a rip roaring liberal. She would probably say it was the right thing for me to do. And then go out and buy me a Johnny Mathis collection and some gay sex manuels.

  2. micky2 said, on December 16th, 2007 at 12:02 pm

    With a manual.

  3. bagel of everything said, on December 16th, 2007 at 12:29 pm

    manually

  4. Soylent Ape said, on December 17th, 2007 at 7:13 am

    …with Manuel.

  5. micky2 said, on December 17th, 2007 at 10:04 am

    Ith so nyth when we all agree.
    Thilly girl

  6. The Bagel of Everything said, on January 31st, 2008 at 10:28 pm

    Wait, I forgot what we were talking about.

    Are you faking a lisp now? That’s offensive to me. ;b

  7. sportypenny said, on January 31st, 2008 at 11:10 pm

    Bagel, thats good shit. My dads an ass and I did the same thing when I was 15. He lost it though. It was funny as hell. And, no, store bought is just not the same!

  8. micky2 said, on February 1st, 2008 at 10:44 am

    What lithsp ?

  9. keywork. said, on February 1st, 2008 at 11:03 am

    Thith one.

  10. micky2 said, on February 1st, 2008 at 11:09 am

    Fuck you bitsth

  11. micky2 said, on February 1st, 2008 at 11:10 am

    Isth Kevin pissthed now ?

  12. The Bagel of Everything said, on February 1st, 2008 at 11:20 am

    Sportpenny: It’s fun to be an asshole, isn’t it?

    Micky: Don’t restart the drama, plz.

  13. micky2 said, on February 1st, 2008 at 11:44 am

    Ith all good. Ith innothent humor

  14. sportypenny said, on February 1st, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    Bagel: Sure is. My boyfriend is getting used to it, I think. If not, oh well. Not my problem!

  15. The Bagel of Everything said, on February 1st, 2008 at 8:20 pm

    Welcome to ЯR, SportPenny.
    I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you the following friendly questions:

    1) Are you now, or have you ever been, a blogger?
    2) Do you find dead baby jokes to be:
    - a) disgusting
    - b) offensive
    - c) hilarious
    - d) all of the above
    3) When did you receive your first serious head injury?
    4) What are your thoughts on mudkip?
    5) Who’ll stop the rain?

  16. Reason #19 why I’m going to hell « Ration Reality said, on February 6th, 2008 at 4:52 am

    [...] posts:  That’s just wong! - Reason #18 Why I’m Going to Hell - My shit’s on random LolKill: Like LolCats, but deader  - LOLTheist: Blasphemy is [...]

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