In deepest sympathy (Die soon)
We’ve got a shiny new multiple-choice greeting card available for you to not buy because you’re a cheap bastard.
Outside: (Flames) In deepest sympathy
Inside:
I’ve just heard that you’re
going the hell for being
□gay. □jewish. □a furry.
□ugly. □an asshole. □dead.
□Good luck with that.
□Stay away from me.
□Die soon.
□Wanna go out sometime?
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I’m assuming I will be finding something like this in my mailbox very soon, Bagel.
keywork.
13 Dec 07 at 9:33 am
Dear Keywork,
I’ve just heard that you’re going to hell for being a furry.
Good luck with that,
Bagel
bagel of everything
13 Dec 07 at 9:38 am
Dear Bagel,
I’ve just heard that you’re going to hell for editing this blog.
Go fuck yourself,
Keywork.
or….
Dear Bagel,
I’ve just heard that you’re going to hell for being a child no one will claim.
Maybe Allah will adopt you,
Keywork.
keywork.
13 Dec 07 at 9:44 am
Sorry, those are not options. You fail.
Also, where the hell were you when I was making this? I coulda used those.
bagel of everything
13 Dec 07 at 9:49 am
Well, if you want my input, you can always ask.
Dear Bagel,
I’ve just heard that you’re going to hell for being ugly.
Die soon,
Keywork.
keywork.
13 Dec 07 at 9:55 am
I love it, That rocks. I’ll totally not buy your greeting cards if you not buy ours, deal?
LOL Heathen
13 Dec 07 at 2:30 pm
Kw: Gee, you’re a great dad
LH: I dunno, you’re merch is tempting. I love the God loves U, but stuff!
bagel of everything
13 Dec 07 at 2:36 pm
Hey, I said greeting cards. T-Shirts are fair game.
LOL Heathen
13 Dec 07 at 2:50 pm
@ Bagel; Dont you know ? Keywork almost killed his son feeding him skanky fish sticks.
micky2
13 Dec 07 at 2:59 pm
Micky: At least he’s feeding the damned brat
bagel of everything
13 Dec 07 at 3:25 pm
Dung beetles feed their young also.
micky2
13 Dec 07 at 3:43 pm
C’mon, you know there are people you want to send this card to!*
(*DIsclaimer: RationReality cannot be held responsible for your indictment on hate crimes charges.)
Soylent Ape
13 Dec 07 at 9:04 pm
I don’t know… A furry going to hell…
Sent back from whence it was spawned for Primemas, how nice for them.
Jim
13 Dec 07 at 9:29 pm
4 people have bought these so far! One person even bought 2!
If you bought one, lemme know how much you love it.
Remember, cafepress has a great return policy, so if it sucks, you’ve got options.
bagel of everything
15 Dec 07 at 2:42 pm
Its the thought that counts
micky2
15 Dec 07 at 3:51 pm
No, no it isn’t.
bagel of everything
15 Dec 07 at 7:17 pm
Thats what you think.
And thats what counts.
micky2
15 Dec 07 at 10:24 pm
Can I have one as the prize you said I won for coining the “Haitian wanna be” phrase ?
micky2
15 Dec 07 at 10:28 pm
I would if they didn’t cost us almost as much they cost other ppl. Our markup isn’t much on our swag.
Email me your address and I’ll send you some stickers.
bagel of everything
16 Dec 07 at 9:52 am
Steekers ? We dont need no steenking steekers !
Actually I was expecting some smart ass remark telling me to go fuck myself.
It will actually be the only thing I’ve gotten out my 11 months of blogging besides the payments on my computer and the elrctricity bill.
And since deep down I really like you guys ,(in a paternal fatherly way) in exchange I will send you something from the islands.
micky2
16 Dec 07 at 10:32 am
Sorry to disappoint.
GET A JOB AND BUY YOUR OWN, LOSER!
is that better?
bagel of everything
16 Dec 07 at 10:34 am
I dont do “jobs” anymore. I employe 6 people. I have one position available.
Would you like it ?
It involves putting your ankles behind your head.
micky2
16 Dec 07 at 11:49 am
They’ve been stuck that way since 1993.
I’m entirely too intelligent to work for a living.
bagel of everything
16 Dec 07 at 12:30 pm
I’ll bet you have calouses on your cheeks just from trying to get around. Or do you use one of those little push dollys like Eddie Murphy did in Trading Places ?
micky2
16 Dec 07 at 1:14 pm
Trying to get around?
Fuck that, I’m carried on a litter by nude, well-hung servants.
The Bagel of Everything
1 Feb 08 at 8:25 pm