Ration Reality

hyperbolic excellence

Happy Hanuchihuahua!

with 31 comments

happy hanuchihuahua
It’s Hanukkah, and I’m here to say:
You killed my Lord, but that’s ok!

Happy Hanukkah to you!
May the Hanuchihuahua bring you the best basket of stupid chocolate coins and lame wooden toys ever!

Now, go read this: Save the world, pitch your menorah!

At times such as these, is it really that wise to think that we could save the world through FEWER prayers? Apparently some environmentalists think so, as they are encouraging Jews to light one less candle for Hanukkah.

Also, it talks about saving the world via unhygienic sex.

Written by The Bagel of Everything

December 4, 2007 at 4:50 pm

31 Responses to 'Happy Hanuchihuahua!'

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  1. I have a chihuahua. He lives with my parents. I wonder if he could convert?

    keywork.

    4 Dec 07 at 5:19 pm

  2. You’d better love this, KW. Drawing that JDL yarmulke on him took for fucking ever.

  3. I do certainly fucking love this. Believe that, Bagel.

    keywork.

    4 Dec 07 at 5:49 pm

  4. I have a male pug(flea) and a great dane bitch (ruby). He stands on his hind legs and sniffs her pussy while humping her leg.
    I’m serious.
    And when hes done he gets down and starts chewing,really fast, a quick repetitious nibble like he has a little rubber booger or something.

    micky2

    4 Dec 07 at 6:58 pm

  5. Thanks for sharing that heartwarming holiday story, Micky.
    You’re going to fit in around here just fine.

  6. My mission is to follow Keywork everywhere and fuck with him as much as possible untill he tells me what happened to or what he did with the Antisocialist
    Thats where I met him. Upon his intial arrival, shortly there after the sight was closed. And the Anti was never heard from again.
    There were rumors and talk of a book deal. I think Anti took the bait.
    Keywork offerd to fly me to an unknown place for a book signing, for a book that has not even been written yet. After Antis disappearance I found this proposition to be even more suspicious.
    Be careful Bagel of everything, be very careful.

    micky2

    4 Dec 07 at 7:48 pm

  7. @Micky: I’m sure there’s a rabbi in Vegas who’d convert him in 15 minutes for $49.95.
    I, too, miss the Anti-Socialist: a great debator who always challenged me. G-D be with him.

    @ Keywork: Ditto. I think the JDL logo on the yarmulke is a great touch! Chihuahuas are nothing if not militant.

    @ Bagel: Great job!

    Soylent Ape

    4 Dec 07 at 9:02 pm

  8. He just may be with God( I can spell it, its cool )

    micky2

    4 Dec 07 at 10:09 pm

  9. Soylent,
    Would the rabbi reference be in regards to my pug or keywork ?
    Convert them too what ? Hermaphrodites ? So they can both go fuck themselves ?

    micky2

    4 Dec 07 at 10:58 pm

  10. I am the man behind the mask, micky.

    keywork.

    5 Dec 07 at 12:19 am

  11. oh, and I’m not talking.

    keywork.

    5 Dec 07 at 12:20 am

  12. Awe! Our friends at LolTheist.com have joined us on the Hanuchihuahua campaign! Soon, all the little jewish children will have a secular, gift-giving myth to worship on their sacred days, just like a real religion!

    Go tell them how proud you are of them, won’t you?
    http://loltheist.com/2007/12/05/errr-happy-ummm-hanuchihuahua/
    Edit:Weird, the hanuchihuahua page is gone now. No worries, I was surprised they posted it, as it’s not really their style. It’s worth a click anyway — their 404 error is cute.

    Do you like to lol-itize things? Loltheist needs your submissions!!!

  13. It was supposed to be up at 7:00 AM. It was up for about an hour before i realized it.

    LOL Heathen

    6 Dec 07 at 10:14 am

  14. Uh, ok, its scheduled for friday at 1:00pm. *yawn* Yes its morning.

    LOL Heathen

    6 Dec 07 at 10:18 am

  15. I ♥ U

  16. Living in Hawaii and trying to make this shit work with all the time zones is a pain in the ass.

    micky2

    6 Dec 07 at 10:36 am

  17. I’m all about the GMT, baby!
    It’s the wave of the future!

    I think loltheist is on EST (GMT-5)

  18. Fuck London and its Green witchs. I’m surprised those moonbat idiots havnt tried to legislate anti discrimination laws into our time zones by suggesting we put a stop to the earths rotation.

    micky2

    6 Dec 07 at 12:18 pm

  19. I run the site and presumably can set the timezone and >I< dont know what it is.

    I do believe its PST, that is the attempt at least, and I’m pretty sure thats how it works.

    Although the logs are another issue. Blogstat seems to reset at 4:30 PST local, and I have no idea what analytics or the server logs are at.

    LOL Heathen

    6 Dec 07 at 12:37 pm

  20. But is it relevant to my time zone ?
    I have to know where everyone lives to make sense of things sometimes(often times)
    Or is their a conspiracy directed my way by all of you by always changing your time stamps ? Huh ? huh? huh?

    micky2

    6 Dec 07 at 12:54 pm

  21. Hey, thats the price you pay for living on an island paradise.

    Well, that and your impending doom from a volcano eruption.

    All in all, seems like a fair trade.

    LOL Heathen

    6 Dec 07 at 1:31 pm

  22. Oy vey, olé.

    golfwidow

    6 Dec 07 at 1:53 pm

  23. The price I pay is 8.00 for a gallon of milk.
    I thought gerbil warming was impending ? I live on Oahu, no volcanos.
    Plenty of moonbats.
    My neigbor, shes married to Rep. Akakas nephew. She wraps 3′ wide masking tape around feet and walks around the house all day with that shit on her feet so she doesnt have to run her vacume cleaner.
    Swear to God.

    micky2

    6 Dec 07 at 2:15 pm

  24. Micky, according to the timestamps on your site, it’s August. Quit yer moanin

    Golf widow: Indeed.

    Lolheathen: You don’t have to like time, but you do have to love it. It’s a relative, afterall.

  25. Moonbat? Do you listen to Boortz, Micky?

    @ golfwidow: Clever!

    Soylent Ape

    6 Dec 07 at 8:27 pm

  26. Actually a friend of mine ” Black Tygrrr” turned me on to the phrase.
    I am debating one right now over there as we speak.
    See here > http://blacktygrrrr.wordpress.com/2007/12/06/light-a-candle-smack-a-woman/#comments.

    Moonbat: See here > http://www.moonbattery.com/archives/pinkmoonbat3.jpg

    Bagel sweety, do you cum with cheese ?

    micky2

    6 Dec 07 at 10:25 pm

  27. It’s back:
    http://loltheist.com/2007/12/07/errr-happy-ummm-hanuchihuahua/

    lol @ golfwidow :) Your Ministry of Silly Walks is absolute win!

    Micky: “Oahu, no volcanos” <– that’s in the brochure isn’t it?

    KW: I peed in your shoe. Sorry. It was dark.

  28. We have craters on oahu, extinct volcanos. Vacant dry orifices. That may not be in the brochure.
    Have Google earth ? Google Temple valley, Kaneohe, Hawaii.
    I live in a fucking extinct volcano

    Keywork, it wasnt pee. Are you missing a leg ? I couldnt find the other shoe.

    micky2

    7 Dec 07 at 10:45 pm

  29. Perhaps Hitler was an environmentalist.

    Stiletto

    8 Dec 07 at 12:08 am

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