Looking back with a discerning eye
Mr. Zach Action is our friend.
His right to self expression we do defend.
But if by this post you are offended,
Remember: He wrote it, we didn’t!
-Soy
You ever have one of those moments where suddenly you realize that something from your childhood is insanely messed up?
I was walking from the bedroom to the living room yesterday, humming a song that doesn’t usually come to mind: Jesus Loves Me. I can’t even tell you the last time I heard this song. But there I was, walking and humming. Then I started singing it. And then I realized…
OH. MY. GOODNESS. What in the WORLD did they have us singing as children?!?
“Jesus loves me, this I know,
for my butthole tells me so.”
Is it just me, or is this wildly inappropriate? First of all, I don’t even understand what it’s supposed to mean, and second of all, no religious song for kids should have the word “butthole” in it. It’s amazing I turned out as okay as I did.
ZachAction.com is one of ЯR’s fave websites, cuz we’re cool like that. Wanna be cool and read ZachAction.com, too? Well you CAN’T!
More Zachlusives: What did you pay for “In Rainbows”? - Catcher in the Rye is a real good book
Gary Coleman: Model Railroader, Model American - The Wooden Rose - TLDR Biographies: Thomas Edison
I recall a song from Sunday school named, “Teenager, are you lonely” It was as ridiculous as it sounds.
kristiane
3 Dec 07 at 11:16 pm
Zach, when you die and go to Hell for this, will you have to play that “Two Guys Named Chris” music trivia game over and over throughout eternity?
Soylent Ape
4 Dec 07 at 12:40 am
Kristiane: I’d love the lyrics if you can remember them!
Soy: You’re a bully!
bagel of everything
4 Dec 07 at 1:12 am
My favorite messed-up childhood rhyme/song/thing is “Rock-a-bye Baby”. Kids falling from trees? Seriously, wtf?
Cody
4 Dec 07 at 4:26 am
@ Cody: I remember the first time I listened to that rhyme with complete understanding of what it meant. Creepy.
@ Bagel: You’re just now coming to that conclusion?
Soylent Asshole
4 Dec 07 at 6:33 am
Soy: Are you referring to the trivia game in general, or the time I was on it and got my ass kicked?
Action
4 Dec 07 at 10:00 am
@ Zaction: I was referring to the time you were on it and made me 5 minutes late for work. Don’t feel bad, I think 4 of the questions were about Aerosmith. I don’t know how many lines of cocaine Joe Perry had to do to write “Sweet Emotion”, either. Chris Demm is a smug motherfucker.
Soylent Ape
4 Dec 07 at 9:52 pm
They were all fucking multiple choice, like “Which member of the Eagles likes two sugars and cream in his coffee” and stuff. When I went to pick up my “prize pack,” I took them an SH DVD and Chris Kelly wrote us a really nice e-mail saying how much they enjoyed it (with specific examples, so he wasn’t just being fakey).
Action
4 Dec 07 at 11:59 pm
I’ve never met him, but Chris Kelly seems like “good people”.
Soylent Ape
5 Dec 07 at 12:29 am
The fact that he enjoyed Seriously Hilarious only proves that he isn’t a retarded robot.
No offense to retarded robots…
bagel of everything
5 Dec 07 at 1:00 am
None taken.
Soylent Ape
5 Dec 07 at 7:28 am
Perhaps you just played Bioshock and are having flashbacks? It’s in there.
LOL Heathen
6 Dec 07 at 10:22 am
Teenager, are you lonely?
Do you need a friend?
Take Jesus as your savior
He’ll be with you til the end
He’ll be your guide
Stay by your side
Teenager, take Jesus, today.
I cannot believe I still remember that :)
kristiane
6 Dec 07 at 5:36 pm
Take Jesus? Two of him, call you in the morning?
Action
6 Dec 07 at 8:01 pm
[...] Zachlusives: Catcher in the Rye is a real good book - Looking back with a discerning eye What did you pay for “In Rainbows”? - Gary Coleman: Model Railroader, Model American The [...]
What Charles Dickens’ Day means to me. « Ration Reality
7 Feb 08 at 7:50 am
LolHeath: ‘Jesus loves … my butthole’ in is BioShock? I’d very much like to play this game.
Kristiane: That seems threatening, somehow
The Bagel of Everything
9 Feb 08 at 6:43 am