Inappropriate Clipart
When I see an awesome bit of clip art, I save it for eventual use here at ЯR. My arts folder is getting too crowded, so I’m going to share with you some of my favorites. A few I’ve made, the rest have been ganked from various places across the innertubes. If anyone knows the origin of any of them, please let me know so I can give credit.
You might not wanna look at these while at work, unless your tech dept. appreciates cartoons of frottage, foot worship, bestiality, and autofellatio.
Oddly enough, I recognize some of those from Wikipedia.
Cody
28 Nov 07 at 6:04 am
@ Cody: First I was surprised–then I wasn’t surprised. It’s Wikipedia, after all.
Soylent Ape
28 Nov 07 at 6:58 am
Some may well have come from wikipedia. You should see all the autocompletes that pop up when I type “en.wik” in my address bar. No, wait. You shouldn’t. Not until you’re older.
I’m a bad person.
bagel of everything
28 Nov 07 at 7:52 pm
Is that bluish one Aquarius getting it on with some naked nymph?
Arm Jerker J.
3 Dec 07 at 8:37 am
AJJ: Maybe. I thought it was Narcissus, but I don’t know my myths very well.
I like to think the deer one is Mr. Tumnus (from Narnia) gettin it on with Bambi’s mom.
bagel of everything
4 Dec 07 at 6:14 am
I’m bored and this post is dead.
Keywork! I challenge thee unhygienic monkey carcass to a slapfight!
bagel of everything (thinks keywork is a loser)
16 Jan 08 at 1:36 pm
Bring it, little one. You’re about to be left alone and confused again.
keywork (there's a reason why I was an absentee father-it's you, Bagel)
16 Jan 08 at 1:58 pm
I thought you abandoned me when I learned the difference between a milk-nipple and your cock-head, daddy.
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 1:59 pm
No, I left well before you had the chance to make that one up. Look, if I wanted Dennis Rodman’s love child, I would have just paid cash like everyone else. Oh, Laurie and I tried the coat hanger trick on you. Unfortunately, that only maimed you. I wanted to name you Scab.
keywork (there's a reason why I was an absentee father-it's you, Bagel)
16 Jan 08 at 2:03 pm
Yeah, I’ve seen the home video. Memories!
I liked how you referred to it as an ultrasound when mommy screamed.
I guess, having never caused a woman to make those sorts of sounds before, you were a bit frightened. It’s ok, it’s natural.
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 2:05 pm
Yeah, the last time I heard a woman scream like that was when we dropped you off at daycare. ” Jesus, kill that thing with a hammer. Or fire.” Good times. The other thing that’s natural is your impounded asshole. High school was rough on you, wasn’t it. I guess that’s why you get mad every year when I send you a card and a broomstick.
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 2:10 pm
I said slap-fight, not tickle fight!
Sheesh, you never would play right with me. Even Candyland always ended up with me having to paint your weinus with red and white stripes.
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 2:12 pm
For some reason, “Sex With Daddy” never sold to the boys at Milton Bradley. I mean last week. Chutes and Ladders always made you walk funny, though.
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 2:18 pm
Yeah… it doesn’t take much to stretch out a 4 year old.
Try it now! We could play “Find Key’s Cock” — I could use the lil plastic magnifying glass from my Where’s Waldo books.
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 2:22 pm
Look, ‘mommy stitches’ weren’t just for mommies back then. Package deal. And if people really need to find my cock, they usually look at your ass first. Or mouth. Or open wounds.
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 2:30 pm
So are you just going to insult yourself?
I mean, that’s fine and all…I shoulda known you were too fucktarded to get the point.
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 2:32 pm
Your birth was the greatest insult to me.
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 2:36 pm
Oh yawn.
Pulling our punches are we?
C’mon! I know you got bigger balls than that!
It took me three magic markers to decorate them for easter that one year!
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 2:38 pm
And it then took you five hours and multiple blisters on your tongue to wash all of that off. I told you markers were for huffing. Not drawing on daddy’s balls. Oh, and the easter bunny still doesn’t exist.
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 2:42 pm
I heard that fumes are best huffed from a bag.
I didn’t quite understand they meant concentrated in a paper bag…
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 2:44 pm
We also had you believing my semen was a wonderful exfoliant.
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 2:47 pm
That’s cause it’s all gritty and acidic.
You should really finish your antibiotics. Even when you feel better, you gotta keep taking them, or it just comes right back.
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 2:49 pm
Nah, syphilis is a hell of an ice breaker. Most women think I’m joking. Funny stuff.
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 2:52 pm
Sweety, if you used a real pic of yourself, they’d believe you.
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 2:55 pm
Exactly. That’s why I show pictures of you. Sympathy is a hell of an aphrodysiac. I’ve never been so happy to claim you. Really. Well, when tax returns come back, I’m thrilled then too. Oh, and the family motto is most certainly not ‘Will Fuck for Drugs’. Also, ‘vaginal maggots’ are not a ‘neat feature’. Nor are they meant to be consumed, you nasty thing.
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 3:04 pm
See, that’s the kind of tough love I expect from my daddy!
As for eating vaginal maggots…bastard see, bastard do. Just keepin it real!
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 3:07 pm
Yeah, but look, you’re not supposed to consume your own. And really, you shouldn’t neglect your genital wounds on purpose. That’s the Kendrick coming out in you.
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 3:11 pm
That’s not a wound, key. It’s a the vaginal opening. It’s supposed to be there.
(It’s where the penis goes)
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 3:16 pm
Hey, whatever, I’m raccoon, I don’t need labels. Wound, vagina, whatever, it’s an opening. Oh, and keep calling that a vagina, maybe someone will believe you.
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 3:18 pm
“whatever, it’s an opening”
I always suspected you were… curious :)
Seriously, you and uncle micky ‘moved the furniture’ way too often for propriety.
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 3:22 pm
Trust me, after your birth, the thought that something as horribly disfigured as yourself could happen again almost caused me to take myself out. Speaking of inappropriate, you know he’s not a real gynecologist, right?
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 3:29 pm
Yeah, I figured that out when he spelled it ‘guynocolomnist’
Still, $10/visit is lower than my co-pay.
Since you aren’t helping with the student loans, I gotta save where I can.
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 3:33 pm
Look, I’m not paying for your ‘education’. Mostly because you were too busy with the ‘gang bang’ to show up for any classes. You could have done the same thing at home and paid me.
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 3:38 pm
Also, cuz you’re a deadbeat.
If you’d just settle for $5 crackwhores and not have to get “escorts” all the time, there’d be something for me to inherit!
Now, the only excuse I have for wanting you dead is … well, that thing we arent supposed to talk about. Get some life insurance or some savings or something!
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 3:44 pm
I go play cards with the gals and bowling with the he Ladies Auxiliary of the “Pasadenaca Pins And Needles Club” for one FUCKING afternoon and you start this shit?????
Bagel Honey…I’d say respect your father. You’re half of his wayward fucking splooge and Key, for the love of God, can’t you just once…shut the fuck up? I mean what is it with you? Open mouth, insert dick?????
All I ever wanted was a harmonious family..but no!! I get vaggie cracked by a fucking man-coon in some fucked up forest in Texas and my life ceased to be. It’s become this Charlie Mansonian garbage dump.
I’m trying to earn a living…im trying to support myself and my daughter with no support and I’m doing the best I can and that ain’t very good. Shit, if things get any fucking worse, the IRS will start garnishing my turds!!
Gimme a break, people!!!
I love you Bagel…I loathe you Key, try to get along.
LK
Laurie Kendrick
16 Jan 08 at 3:54 pm
hahahahah
Yay for Mommy!
I don’t even know wtf to say to that
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 3:55 pm
Ah, speaking of concentrated bags, nice to smell you, Kendrick.
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 4:04 pm
To quote your arresting officer on the night of my conception:
“leave that poor woman alone, you filthy animal!”
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 4:11 pm
Oddly, that’s the same thing the doctor told you while you were being delivered.
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 4:16 pm
Yeah, I never could pass up a well-lubed clit.
I think I get that from your side, don’t I?
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 4:18 pm
Yeah, it’s a curse.
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 4:21 pm
The sexual confusion, I mean…
not the love of cunnilingus.
bagel of everything
16 Jan 08 at 4:22 pm
Not surprising daughter. You’re middle name is Labia, after all.
Key, just took a shit…thought of you.
LK
Laurie Kendrick
16 Jan 08 at 4:26 pm
Laurie, I’m glad that you are able shit again. I owe the moose 10 bucks.
keywork
16 Jan 08 at 5:16 pm
Yeah, Bages…. as you know i recently had a “medical procedure” and I was in a great deal of pain. I was convinced the doctor left something up there.
Turns out it was his fist. Who knew there was more than one way to remove a fucking polyp?
Love and discharge,
LK
Laurie Kendrick
16 Jan 08 at 10:36 pm
I’m hoping you feel better soon, ma.
It’s not the scabies again is it?
Like they always say, sleep with a raccoon, wake up with a freaky skin condition.
bagel of everything
17 Jan 08 at 11:51 am
….and a half gallon of questionable fluids in your stomach. a
keywork.
17 Jan 08 at 12:19 pm
No, Pops.
Questionable means there might be something wrong with them.
There are no questions here
bagel of everything
17 Jan 08 at 1:23 pm
I was trying to imply that you don’t know exactly what is wrong with them.
keywork.
17 Jan 08 at 1:35 pm
I find myself squinting at the screen trying to see a close up of these dirty pitures..I’m such a perv..
Terrible Lie
18 Jan 08 at 12:16 am
KW: It’s raccoon spooge, that’s what’s wrong with them!
Terrible Lie: Try this: Art or Porn: Can’t it be both?
bagel of everything
18 Jan 08 at 5:01 am
Keywork: You’re falling behind! I know you’re not all that smart, so this should help you keep up: Funny Mean Name Generator
slime-specked twatherder
bagel of everything
18 Jan 08 at 12:10 pm
Bagel: leather breasted crackfondler. That’s actually not bad. Falling behind? Just waiting for you to drop something worth replying to.
keywork.
18 Jan 08 at 12:29 pm
Oh yeah! Well…uh….you’re a mother fucker!
(in that you actually did fuck my mother)
bagel of everything
18 Jan 08 at 1:12 pm
Twice. Thrice. Four times a motherfucker. You’re the one that didn’t end up on the midget.
keywork.
18 Jan 08 at 1:17 pm
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