Ration Reality

Sex, Drugs, and Stupid Lyrics

Posted in critique, drugs, lyrics, music, nsfw, sex, stds, video, youtube by The Bagel of Everything on November 9th, 2007

All of BuckCherry’s songs sound the same, are about the same thing, and the lyrics are retarded. I love them, and so do you. We can’t help it. We love sex, drugs, and hepatitis infested frontmen. But this song, Porno Star, just takes the stupid lyrics prize.


Alternates, incase youtube kills that vid: 1, 2

There are many fine songs out there that have a stupid line or an entire stupid verse, but this entire song is just fucking stupid.  

I got this pleasant view
Late night working avenue

Never had a chance to love you
Never want to see you cry

Thank god it’s quitting time
Fuck me harder kill the lights

Never had a chance to love you
Never want to see you cry
Never had a chance to love you
Hard cock nasty mind

Yeah
Well come on

Take off your clothes and shut the door
Pornagraphic monster on the floor
That’s what you like, I’ll cum some more
Don’t you know we fuck for money
I’m a big dick mother fucking porno star

In my face, on top again
Dead lay lover never wins

Never had a chance to love you
Never want to see you cry

The best fuck you’ll ever have
Could come from a working man

Never had a chance to love you
Never want to see you cry
Never had a chance to love you
Hard cock suicide

Yeah well come on
Do you like that baby?

 By Kayla, 5th Grade. Seriously, 5th grade? Kayla, I sure hope you’ve at least got looks. You’re gunna need em.

You gotta see these masterpieces!

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20 Responses to 'Sex, Drugs, and Stupid Lyrics'

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  1. Stiletto said, on November 9th, 2007 at 6:31 pm

    “Never had a chance to love you
    Never want to see you cry
    Never had a chance to love you
    Hard cock suicide”

    Would it be awful to admit I…got turned on reading it?

    Hard cock suicide…hari kari me, baby!

  2. skipjenkins said, on November 9th, 2007 at 6:32 pm

    That really is one of the dumbest songs I’ve ever heard.

    I think Kayla was smoking something, maybe it was really 15th grade and she was just higher than giraffe pussy.

  3. Soylent Ape said, on November 9th, 2007 at 8:50 pm

    BuckCherry songs always make me feel dumber for having heard them. This new single sounds like it was written by Fifth Graders. (They probably did the cover art, too.)

    Tiger Claw!!!

  4. keywork. said, on November 10th, 2007 at 12:56 am

    It’s too bad, I can admit that I listened to the entire album repeatedly. I guess I’m more of a Josh Todd fan than I am of Buckcherry. Jesus, I bought his ’solo’ album. I tend to idolize people that have more tattoos than I do.

  5. keywork. said, on November 10th, 2007 at 12:58 am

    Oh, I was talking about ‘Time Bomb’. ‘15′ is fucking garbage. He should have done another side project. Actually, as much as I enjoy Weiland, I think Josh would have been a better frontman for VR. Josh does a much better job of staying out of legal trouble. And rehab. And Puerto Ricans.

  6. Soylent Ape said, on November 10th, 2007 at 12:50 pm

    @ Keywork: You might be onto something there… Weiland is sometimes to pretentious for the style VR plays. Josh Todd doesn’t even know what “pretense” means–literally! (Just get someone else to write the lyrics.)

  7. bagel of everything said, on November 10th, 2007 at 1:29 pm

    Stiletto, I think you’ve got a hard cock nasty mind.

    Soy: Yeah, well come on…

    KW: Do you like that baby?

  8. keywork. said, on November 10th, 2007 at 7:01 pm

    bagel: do you remember all our love?
    Soy: a change of pace could really do some good. Also, do you really think Weiland is still writing lyrics? STP was great but I’m pretty sure the heroin is done with him.
    stilleto: the Carolinas where I want to lay.

  9. SEOHack said, on November 13th, 2007 at 1:26 pm

    Umm, is this about being a gay porn star? not that there’s anything wrong with that. But it sounds like he’s on the receiving end . . . .

    Am I missing something here?

  10. bagel of everything said, on November 13th, 2007 at 2:52 pm

    Holy hell, SEO! That’s just fucking brilliant!

    Never had a chance to love (top) you
    Never want to see you cry (cuz buttsecks hurts)

    Poor Josh Todd (the name alone should have given it away). He should find a more versatile sodomy partner.

  11. keywork. said, on November 13th, 2007 at 3:05 pm

    I think the cloud of hep C that surrounds Mr. Todd would be enough to keep anything away.

  12. bagel of everything said, on November 13th, 2007 at 3:22 pm

    KW: You know there are lines of groupies just waiting to pounce naked on him. Me, I would piss myself before using a toilet after him.

  13. keywork. said, on November 13th, 2007 at 3:31 pm

    I would sooner eat at another f’ing Bojangles before I would let my neighbor use the same restroom as Mr. Todd. And I’m not too fond of my neighbor.

  14. keywork. said, on November 13th, 2007 at 3:33 pm

    Bagel: so that means you would still use the toilet? I’m confused.

  15. bagel of everything said, on November 13th, 2007 at 3:39 pm

    “piss (on) myself” , not “piss, my self”.
    Maybe it’s a southernism?

  16. keywork. said, on November 13th, 2007 at 3:40 pm

    I was giving you shit about ‘before’ and ‘after’.

  17. bagel of everything said, on November 13th, 2007 at 3:42 pm

    ah…
    The temporal has always been a mystery to the raccoon kind.

  18. keywork. said, on November 13th, 2007 at 3:46 pm

    indeed, bagel, indeed. (raccoon shame)

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  20. The Bagel of Everything said, on February 23rd, 2008 at 5:51 pm

    Don’t be ashamed, KW. Dead lay lover never wins.

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