Jesus Saves … guitar picks?
Jesus Saves Guitar Picks 4 Pack
@ Amazon.com
God: Hey, JC! Whadda you say we go down to Earth, spend some quality time?
JC: Um, no.
God: C’mon, it’ll be fun. We’ll go fishing for men.
JC: Yeah, that sounds great and all, but I gotta update my blog.
God: Jesus, son! You need to get a hobby!
JC: I have my blog, Dad. You just don’t understand my generation!
God: A real hobby! Maybe you could collect something.
JC: Yeah, sure. Whatever. Bring me a Fillet O’ Fish and some Dansani before you go, k?
And that, brothers and sisters, is how Jesus began saving guitar picks. At a current total of 4, it’s not much of a collection. It’s tragic really. With all the dexterity of a carpenter’s son, he’d be a great shredder, if it weren’t for those horrible hand injuries.
Related posts:
Joshua-ben-Joseph: carpenter’s son indeed. To add insult to injury, the term “carpenter” in Christ’s time subsumed, among other things, stone masonry. All of which is mentioned only because it expands your intriguing notion of Christ’s hard rock proclivities.
antisocialist
25 Oct 07 at 12:03 am
Who needs picks when you can use your nails?
Metro
25 Oct 07 at 12:46 pm
Anti, Metro: That’s so funny you might not even go to hell for it!
bagel of everything
25 Oct 07 at 1:31 pm
…and they used to say, “Clapton is God”. Pfft!
Believe it or not, pick collecting is a huge business. Steve Vai and Paul Gilbert’s picks from previous tours sell for $40-$75 each!
Soylent Ape
25 Oct 07 at 10:00 pm
Maybe we can adopt picks as the new Canuckistanian currency!
Gotta go check my desk drawers–I may already be a millionaire!
Metro
26 Oct 07 at 4:48 pm
Are you a player, Metro? (Note that I said “player”, not “playa’”. I think we all know the answer to that.)
Soylent Ape
27 Oct 07 at 1:02 pm
I rather like the idea of using an artifact as currency. One could literally make money.
The Bagel of Everything
31 Oct 07 at 2:42 pm
@Soy:
I’m strictly a three-chord player; the trouble is, I’m never entirely sure which three.
We could adopt Ace Frehley picks as the new dollar. Heck, they’re even cheaper to produce than the loonie! And I suspect there are more of them in circulation.
Metro
2 Nov 07 at 12:48 pm
Can I pick my nose with it?
Stiletto
2 Nov 07 at 1:35 pm
Stiletto, that’s between you and Jesus. They’re his picks, afterall.
bagel of everything
4 Nov 07 at 11:37 pm
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