The Chicago Bulls Logo Conspiracy
When I was a child, someone showed me the Chicago Bulls logo, upside down, and pointed out that it was, in fact, a robot sitting on a park bench reading the bible. My little mind was blown. 20 plus years later, I look at the logo and no longer see the bull. Just an upside down robot priest…
You, dear reader, have seen the proselyting robot menace, haven’t you?
I’ve made an art to clarify the danger we face:

The trippiest triptych
Why are they doing this? What do these robot overlords want from us?
Please, America. Rise up against the cybernetic oppressors before it’s too late!

Everything makes more sense when poorly animated.








Darling Daughter,
I see it now. Yes…a robot priest with a protruding beer gut reading Second Corinthians on an altar with side stabilizers.
Plain as day.
As you know I’m A HUGE Texas Longhorn fan, as is my ex-lover KeyCoon. As much as I hate to admit it, the longhorn logo looks a hell of a lot like a woman’s uterus and fallopian tubes.
If I knew how to insert an image here in the comments section I would.
I love the Horns and hate like hell that it looks like a woman twat, but so be it. The fucker always give me cramps when I look at it.
Oh yeah, I’ve fucked a Longhorn—player!
LK
…and killing babies. You forgot that part. Babies. He’s killing them. Damned robots.
Mommy, you’ve had alot of gentlemen friends. I sure wish I could be as popular as you.
Unfortunatly, you can’t put pics in comments, but you can put the link to the pic and ppl can click to see it.
http://www.sportslogos.net/logo.php?lo=2653
@Bagel, you will be.
@Robot: don’t fuck with raccoons.
@LK: Fallopian tubes indeed. You have fucked alot of things.
Maybe the robot is Iranian and actually reading the Koran and not the bible…at least that would help explain the destruction of the WASP baby?
Perhaps, chris.
I wish I was better at the arts. The scene needs dead baby rape.
Yes Keywork and if by “things” you mean a dead homeless guy, Marcel Marceau’s gay butler and of course, the varmint that IS a raccoon, then yes..yes I have fucked a lot of things.
jealous?
Awe, mommy and daddy come to visit me and start name calling and fighting right away…just like a real family!
@Bagel: this is exactly why things never worked out between your mother(whore) and I.
@LK: Remember that I wash and eat with the same tongue.
It’s OK Bagel.Mommy and Daddy are just as you say…perfectly normal, as human/raccoon connubially bestial relationships go.
Here, take some of your child support money and buy something shiny.
Stupid raccoon lawyers.
Yessir….’twas the best work that Bostcoon Legal EVER DID!!!!!
“Here, take some of your child support money and buy something shiny.”
Child support?
Ohhh…you mean your liqueur money.
Goldschlager is shiny…
Now go play my game with me!!!!!!
I knew that shit was happening. Damn this furry existance!
So KW! You finally admit it!
You’re one of them!!!!!
I was playing and I gotstuck on the questions about RR’s presidential endoresement.
For some reason, Hillary Clinton won’t fit in the allotted squares!!!
BTW, you know how Hillary and Bill met, don’t you?
It was back in college. They were both dating the same chick.
[...] dwachtel wrote an interesting post today!.Here’s a quick excerptWhen I was a child, someone showed me the Chicago Bulls logo, upside down, and pointed out that it was, in fact, a robot sitting on a park bench reading the bible. My little mind was blown. 20 plus years later, I look at the logo and no … [...]
@Bagel: woah, daughtercoon, don’t go throwing your father in with that bunch. I still have feelings sometimes. And I thought Zombie Reagan was your candidate of choice. I may have suspicious habits but none of them involve dressing up like an animal.
looks more like a robot overlord giving Eeyore the ol’ oral exam, if you catch my drift.
Thank god this ain’t a Rorshach test or something . . . .
They should assign a robot priest to every human priest…
Cut down on those lawsuits.
@ jim: or just eliminate religion altogether - that would solve a whole helluva lot of problems…
Jim:
-Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency - Douglas Adams
you sure it ain’t reading Hustler? If I were a robot sitting on a park bench, I’d be reading Hustler. And if someone were to get all pissy with me for reading pornography in a public place I’d just tell them “Hey, I’m a robot. I know nothing of this pornography you speak of” and keeping reading Hustler.
ONLY IN AMERICA
the dead baby at the end is a nice touch, bagel.
why would you apologize in advance for a robot priest freak post?
FFE: “looks more like a robot overlord giving Eeyore the ol’ oral exam”
Yeah, I don’t see it. Sketch it for me?
SEO: lulz! But then, there would be no decapitated baby, and that would just be wrong.
Stepher: Yeah, I was thinking of you.
CJ: To win you back!
Just imagine Eeyore on his knees before his robot overlord
Wow! I can totally see Eeyore fellating a robot! The power of suggestion is an amazing thing.
I’m a traitor. I’ve been worshipping their leader for years…
http://dodgebullets.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/michaeljordan3clr_tif.jpg
“SEO: lulz! But then, there would be no decapitated baby, and that would just be wrong.”
well, if the robot was programmed with a protocol that had an erection function, perhaps then . . . .
I KNEW those crafty bulls had more going for them than just Michael Jordan. Thanks for bringing this to the forefront of the blogosphere where it belongs.
@ Frogster: Welcome to Ration Reality! Now we know the truth about Da’ Bullz. All that “Zen” stuff Phil Jackson was doing–it was really his method of relaying information back to the invading force. …and don’t get me started on Rodman!
This blew my mind. My mind is blown.
I need to sit down..
FFE: Still not seeing it. I’m not good at the spatial. Help me to SEEEEE!!!
AJJ: Did you get probed?
SEO: If you build it, they will cum.
SA: Rodman is so not an alien. He’s a wanna be. A wannalien, if you will.
Frog & Kev: Join us in the fight to save humanity!
Okay . . . .
The robot’s holding Eeyore’s ears. Eeyore’s mane is parted and the back of his head is furrowed - most likely in anticipation of (all together, class . . . .) a donkey punch or just the gag reflex of swallowing an alien robot schlong.
@ FFE: “Donkey Punch” is coming up more often on ЯR. At least it’s better than, you know…that
.
Wait…a donkey punch to the cartoon tiger giving you head is not a smart idea.
Unless you’ve planned ahead and knocked out his teeth.
Bagel: I wish. And I would have let him do it just about anywhere.
Is it no coincidence that Sylvester Stallone was behind that 80’s masterpiece of pseudo-historical overdrama, F.I.S.T. ?
nothing to ein back Bagel. I’ve been busier than a singapore whore when the fleets in town is all.
I lived and worked in Chicago during the second championship threepeat. I even walked the streets some evenings in a jersey with a prominent Bulls logo. Now I am aghast to think that I might have unwittingly advanced the clockwork Christians’ agenda. Curse you, St. 3PO-D2!
@ Demonweed: Kinda like that movie They Live, isn’t it?
that looks like a drewid reading the satanist bible
And killing babies, sata. Why do you people keep leaving that out? It’s like crucial.
We’re famous!
Goto answers.com and search for Chicago Bulls (or just click this link) - scroll way down to ‘external links.’
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