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Give your child the gift of Jesus

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Deluxe Jesus Action Figure

DELUXE JESUS ACTION FIGURE
Won’t He be pleased!

Could you use a miracle today? Maybe he can help. Quite possibly the first action figure to have ‘turns water into wine’ as a selling point on the box, this wonderful Jesus character stands 5 1/4-inches tall and features glow-in-the-dark hands!

He comes in an illustrated window box with 8 accessories: a jug, 2 fish, and 5 loaves of bread.

Welcome him into your home today!

The name Jesus means ‘God Saves.’ The term Christ is a title for ‘Anointed of God.’

For Muslims and some Jews, Jesus was a prophet. Buddhists say he was enlightened. Hindus call him an Avatar (the incarnation of a deity in human form), and Christians hail him as the Son of God.

The bible mentions 35 miracles performed by Jesus that range from wilting a fig tree to raising the dead. Jesus was an extraordinary healer and nearly a quarter of the gospels describe his powers over sickness in the human body. The 2 miracles represented by this deluxe action figure show that he also sought to fill the basic needs of his friends and followers.

The jug represents the miracle of turning water into wine. Jesus performed this miracle at a wedding when the lengthy celebrations exhausted the supply of wine. The fish and bread represent the miracle of transforming 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread into enough food to satisfy a hungry crowd of over 5,000 people. ( Amazon.com)

 

Want! (RationReality.com)

hahahaha.... wait, what?

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Written by The Bagel of Everything

September 19, 2007 at 10:44 am

28 Responses to 'Give your child the gift of Jesus'

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  1. ” And you will know this man is Jesus, for he shall have glow-in-the-dark hands..” (keywork12:19)

    True story, lambs. You herd it hear first. Go flock thyselves.

    keywork

    19 Sep 07 at 11:03 am

  2. I guess the stripped down version would at least come with a cross.

    keywork

    19 Sep 07 at 11:24 am

  3. If you follow the link and scroll down, they have Talking Jesus & Black Jesus. They also have :
    OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE FIGURE
    Sigmund Freud Action Figure
    CRAZY CAT LADY - ACTION FIGURE

    This is a time when I wish my mother explained the theory of “want vs. need”.

  4. I’m thrilled they explained who Jesus Christ was b/c it saved me from googling him.

    I’m digging his Birkenstocks; I have the same pair.

    If you click the link, you’ll find the Crazy Cat Lady action figure which I personally find much more interesting than this “God Saves Anointed of God” dude.

    stepher

    19 Sep 07 at 11:39 am

  5. You really must read the review at the bottom. I’m pretty sure he(I am assuming the review was written by a he based on the extensive knowledge of action figures and the MacFarlane reference) will be applying lipstick later while burning his rectum with lit cigarettes. Alone. For the rest of his existence. Alone. In the comic book store.

    keywork

    19 Sep 07 at 11:49 am

  6. keywork

    19 Sep 07 at 12:15 pm

  7. nice find, kw!

  8. the keywork works in mysterious ways.

    keywork

    19 Sep 07 at 12:24 pm

  9. The deluxe edition comes with a big loaf, a big fish and a pack of ZigZags

  10. and pixie dust.

    keywork

    19 Sep 07 at 1:03 pm

  11. Does he come with money changer table flipping action?

    And if you wash his feet does it change heart?

    Jim

    19 Sep 07 at 2:16 pm

  12. I’m having WP problems here. Can anyone see the product picture at the top of this post?

  13. Seen.

    keywork

    19 Sep 07 at 3:51 pm

  14. Weird. I can’t see it in firefox or IE. Stupid internets

  15. firefox works for me. I has ur bandwidths in my teefs.

    keywork

    19 Sep 07 at 3:53 pm

  16. Does he do like karate kicks or morph into a power ranger?

    Paul B.

    19 Sep 07 at 7:09 pm

  17. Paul: At $10.69, He damn well better!
    (Seriously, 69cents. lulz)

  18. maufactured in China. Lead paint optional

    criminyjicket

    20 Sep 07 at 8:04 pm

  19. Where ya been hidin, CJ?

  20. Jesus ain’t got nothin’ on me. Have you seen my new Ron Jeremy doll? Inspires you to suck your own dick, a skill that’s sweeter than wine and finer than the divine.

    Might want to nail down Jesus and ask if HE’S got a money back guarantee.

    hedgehog

    21 Sep 07 at 8:58 pm

  21. “…nail down Jesus … money back…”

    Jewish, much?

  22. i’m kosher and lead free and my hands are clean. Shine a light on those glow-in-the-dark hands and ask yourself if you really want that man touching your grapes.

    hedgehog

    21 Sep 07 at 9:30 pm

  23. I’m trafe-a-licious and man grape-free.

    Also, I should scrub under my nails

  24. Does it have kung fu grip?

    Arm Jerker J.

    24 Sep 07 at 7:38 am

  25. [...] Give your child the gift of Jesus [...]

  26. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Glow in the dark hands Jesus sighting HERE!

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  27. I reckognize the hands. I had an Incredible Hulk doll with those hands.
    Or they could of come from two Adams family piggy banks.

    http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Creeping-Hand-Black-Box-Bank-Addams-Family-Thing-Like_W0QQitemZ370012107917QQihZ024QQcategoryZ885QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem#ebayphotohosting

    micky2

    13 Jan 08 at 9:26 pm

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