No Masturbating in Manitoba
On Aug. 4, 2007, a 26 year old bum was caught rubbing one out to internet porn at a University of Manitoba library. When asked to stop by security, he begs “can I finish?”
He plead guilty and was given time served plus 6 months probation.
That’s the story told by The Winnipeg Sun. Yeah, whatever. They skimmed right over the good part:
“I’m not in the business of keeping people in jail longer than they need to be. You’re 26, you’ve got a long life ahead of you. I’m just saying you should keep the peace and be of good behaviour. That means not masturbating in a library or anywhere else. Got it?” – Judge Tim Preston
That’s right kids. Good behavior means not masturbating ANYWHERE. Guess I’ll be taking shorter showers from now on.
You’d think a founding member of the Gay and Lesbian Lawyers Association would be more enlightened, wouldn’t you?
O, Canada? I think: Lol, Canadia!
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I’m no jurist, but I’ve watched enough Law & Order to believe that the unreasonable nature of the judge’s ruling could mean an overturn on appeal. Of course, American judges don’t wear wigs, so that logic could be completely out the window.
Soylent Ape
September 8, 2007 at 10:06 am
they dont really still wear wigs as judges up in canada do they? hahahahahaha
Stona Lisa
September 8, 2007 at 12:32 pm
I’d like to give the judge the benefit of the doubt and think that he just forgot to add the “…in public” part.
stepher
September 8, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Stona: I think they do
Stepher: Yeah, I get that it wasn’t his intention. He’s a judge. He of all people should know to be careful with his words, right?
bagel of everything
September 8, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Thank god I live in the the United States where it’s my god-given right to masturbate in a library.
rexmoond
September 8, 2007 at 5:56 pm
[...] 8th, 2007 by justenjoyhim This story is pretty horrifying for an academic librarian to read. Sheesh! and *shudder* Don’t do that [...]
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September 8, 2007 at 7:27 pm
Very interesting and funny!
The judge clearly did not feel any happenis in showing his iron fist. And that is a seminal truth!
rambodoc
September 8, 2007 at 8:15 pm
Can’t a person just get their rocks off anymore? I mean people want us to have safe sex. This seems like a really good on the go solution. Shit. I can do it just standing in line…no hands!
Arm Jerker J.
September 8, 2007 at 9:02 pm
AJJ: Seriously? I’ve heard of women who can do that. Teach me your jedi ways!
bagel of everything
September 9, 2007 at 12:23 am
I’ve always wondered where the “Arm-Jerker” name came from…
Soylent Ape
September 9, 2007 at 1:36 am
Ah…
Magicians never tell you if they really cut the lady in half…
Arm Jerker J.
September 9, 2007 at 2:56 am
AJJ: Yeah, I think they kinda do…by not going to prison for murder
bagel of everything
September 9, 2007 at 3:16 am
yeah. yeah. yeah.
hey, btw. you were like no. 38 today on the top posts. must be nice. (sighs…)
Arm Jerker J.
September 9, 2007 at 5:07 pm
[...] a certain Manitoba jurist needs to get down wit’ dis . . [...]
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September 9, 2007 at 9:20 pm
AJJ: It is nice, thanks!
Don’t make with the sighs…I saw you on that list too!
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