Word of the Week: Cordyceps
Cordyceps: Killer Dicks
Cordyceps Sinensis are fungi used for centuries in Chinese medicine. The ingredient has been showing up in the U.S. as a health suppliment, and even in mass market energy drinks recently. The phallic appearance is defiantly a plus, but that’s not enough to earn their place as this week’s !WORD!.
A quote from Wikipedia, which I’m sure you won’t bother reading:
All Cordyceps species are parasitic, mainly on insects and other arthropods (they are thus entomopathogenic fungi); a few are parasitic on other fungi like the subterranean, truffle-like Elaphomyces. The mycelium invades and eventually replaces the host tissue, while the elongated fruiting body (stroma) may be cylindrical, branched, or of complex shape. The stroma bears many small, flask-shaped perithecia that contain the asci. These in turn contain the thread-like ascospores, which usually break into fragments and are presumably infective.
That’s right friends. Infectious killer parasites. It gets worse:
In the old days, Chinese people thought that the caterpillar fungus (Dong chong xiz cao) were worms. However, after years of study, it was found that it really is a fruiting body produced by the fungus, Cordyceps Sinensis, on dead caterpillars of the moth Hepilus fabricius. Spores of Cordyceps Sinensis grow inside the caterpillars filling the caterpillar with filaments (hyphae). When the caterpillar dies the fungus produces a stalked fruiting body that produces spores. The spores are spread in the wind to the next generation of caterpillars. Uninfected caterpillars pupate into relatively large primitive moths. ( Fun Facts About Fungi)
It’s airborne. At least it’s a quick, clean death…
When the fungus is ready to sporulate, the mycelia grow into the ant’s brain. The fungus then produces chemicals which act on the host’s brain and alter its perception of pheromones. This causes the ant to climb a plant and, upon reaching the top, to clamp its mandibles around a leaf or leaf stem, thus securing it firmly to what will be its final resting place. (Neurophilosophy - Brainwashed by a parasite)
Mind control. But that’s ok, right? It’s only ants and caterpillars!
Many infect caterpillars like Cordyceps Sinensis. Others infect beetle larvae, ants, wasps, termites and flies. Importantly, all Cordyceps (including Cordyceps Sinensis) are very specific in what they will infect. In alpine grasslands, Cordyceps Sinensis will only infect hepialid larvae. They can not infect any of the tens of other species of moths and butterflies that can be seen flying through these meadows in the summer months. But occasionally, cross-over occurs - in much the same way that Bird Flu has crossed over to humans. At some point a forest-dwelling Cordyceps, probably infecting a relative of the alpine-meadow moth, moved out of the forest and into the grassland.
(The HIV of the Insect World)
Yeah, it’s only caterpillars and ants. Sure. And China isn’t out to get us.
Luckily, fungii die when desicated and ground, right? Um, no. It doesn’t work like that.
After all this learning, you deserve a tasty, relaxing beverage. Can I interest you in a glass of Cordycep Wine?
CordyPine: Drink a glass of dicks
Previous ‘Word of the Week’ posts:
OMG-it took everything in me while reading this post-NOT to give in to the Heeby Geebies….ugh…is there even a computer term for the heeb’s? Thats the kinda stuff i can live without knowing-sorta like the sheeple…i digress…
Way too many big words…could not bring myself to watch the video…but sign me up for that wine!!!!
Stona Lisa
7 Sep 07 at 9:48 am
Stona: You should totally watch the video.
You would drink that wine after reading this?
Soy drinks Steven Seagal energy drinks. The cherry is tasty, but never ever again will I drink it.
bagel of everything
7 Sep 07 at 10:09 am
i was being fec…oh forget it-its too big a word for me to even attempt to type…lol
i love me some bagel…yummy…
Stona Lisa
7 Sep 07 at 10:15 am
fecal?
lulz
bagel of everything
7 Sep 07 at 12:32 pm
glass of dicks or cock bock?
keywork
7 Sep 07 at 12:38 pm
Fa-C-shus
Stona Lisa
7 Sep 07 at 1:13 pm
Nah, I think you meant fecal. I’m going with fecal. It’s a good word.
If you really wanna be fancy, you can spell it with an a. Fæcal.
There, that makes poop look classy, doesn’t it?
(Also, I don’t know how to spell that other FE word either. I think there’s a T in it, really)
bagel of everything
7 Sep 07 at 1:17 pm
GG Allin was a pioneer in the fecal arts.
keywork
7 Sep 07 at 1:20 pm
just watched video…things were crawling all over me the whole 3 min. must go take shower and rock back and forth in fetal postion….invaded my brain…anyone want MY cordycep riddled brain???
Stona Lisa
7 Sep 07 at 1:36 pm
facetious - that liberal arts education comes in handy yet again!
Frontier Former Editor
7 Sep 07 at 3:00 pm
jenkelicious?
keywork
7 Sep 07 at 5:07 pm
Frankly, I’m quite the maven of Cole Linn, the famed fecal doodler. He seemed to have a direct path, or chute, if you will, to rea
lly making incredible fecal art.
I know in later years, he stopped loving his craft and felt obliged to create.
He did so out of a sense of doody.
With turds and whey,
Laurie Kendrick
lauriekendrick
8 Sep 07 at 12:11 am
Keywork, you seem to know a lot about pop musicians and their excremental activities…
That being said, GG was the Jackson Pollock of shit-flinging.
Soylent Ape
8 Sep 07 at 2:16 am
Tee hee
Poop.
bagel of everything
8 Sep 07 at 4:38 am
This reminds me of an X-Files episode (Season 2) called ‘Firewalker”. The Mechanics of the fruiting body and spore-delivery are exactly the same. (I think it may even reference cordyceps, too.
Soylent Ape
8 Sep 07 at 5:02 pm
I love the narrator’s voice. I could fall asleep to him every night.
So, can someone nutshell this:
Sugar-free Red Bull - okay to drink or I’m going to die if I do?
stepher
8 Sep 07 at 8:38 pm
ehhh … the LD50 on caffeine is somewhere between 8-11 grams, depending on which study you look at and how much you weigh. A can of Red Bull - regular or sugar free - contains just over a 80 milligrams or so.
So, yes, you -will- die from drinking Red Bull. But I think you might have a bladder explosion first. Or at least you’d be so jittery that you couldn’t open the next can without help …
jessecuster
9 Sep 07 at 12:03 am
Stepher: I don’t think there are cordyceps in red bull. Check the ingredients tho. If they’re in there, the label will be proud of it. It’s an expensive ingredient.
Soy still insists on drinking Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt..
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
bagel of everything
9 Sep 07 at 10:24 am
Lightning Bolt is the ultimate energy drink! It has guarana, b-complex vitamins, ginseng and even goji berry extract, whereas most energy drinks just give you a shit-load of caffeine and taurine. They metabolize rapidly and you “crash” after a few hours. Ol’ Steve just lets you down easy.
Cordyceps are used in modern pharmaceuticals and in other foods and beverages, so unless I climb the pear tree in my backyard and clamp my jaws on the bark, I won’t be concerned. That being said, cordyceps tends to be a dubious ingredient choice, since it hasn’t been shown to have anything to do with energy. Take it out, Seagal!
Soylent Ape
9 Sep 07 at 11:18 am
@Soy: yeah, pop excrement, or culture, is about the only topic I can remember anything about. Quite an unfortunate thing for me, I can’t even remember when my dad’s birthday is. But I do know that Shane McGowan once bit off a piece of someone’s ear at a Sex Pistols show.
keywork
10 Sep 07 at 10:48 am
I just drank one of Soy’s Lightening Bolt drinks. I was out of cold cola, and he had some in my fridge. The cherry charge is tasty and good and I couldn’t resist.
Excuse me while I go find a tree to climb.
bagel of everything
11 Sep 07 at 1:42 pm
or a school bus to lift.
keywork
11 Sep 07 at 1:45 pm
Don’t make me angry, KW. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
bagel of everything
11 Sep 07 at 1:47 pm
I’m a salesman, I heart angry people.
keywork
11 Sep 07 at 2:35 pm
@ Keywork: Angry people can be fun!
Soylent Ape
11 Sep 07 at 4:20 pm
Ape: agreed.
keywork
11 Sep 07 at 5:02 pm
someone give Bagel another Lightning Bolt.
keywork
11 Sep 07 at 5:03 pm
I’ve drank 3 Lightening Bolts since this post. Down from nearly 1 every day, so it’s not bad. I swear I can taste the fungus now.
I have this mad, uncontrollable urge to write a post about how cordyceps are our friends and we should cultivate them and eat them and snuggle with them at night.
I think I’m a pod person.
bagel of everything
10 Dec 07 at 12:46 am
[...] posts: Word of the Week: Cordyceps - Homemade Sex Toys - The Blessed Virgina « Band of the Month: [...]
Love Carrots « Ration Reality
9 Apr 08 at 1:24 pm
[...] !Word!s: Mondegreen - Blepharoplasty - Cordyceps - Jenkem - CILF - Fursecution « For all your Entertainment and [...]
Word of the Week: Odious « Ration Reality
23 May 08 at 7:01 pm
Article very interesting, congratulations for analysis.
Roverella
25 May 08 at 3:24 am