Ration Reality

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Never trust your erection to a foreigner

with 9 comments

Ten things learned from Overheard In New York:

  1.  ”A truck ain’t a pair of jeans, son.” (Noted.)
  2. “If you miss your stop, that sucks — we ain’t goin’ back” (Check.)
  3. “A practical joker? Isn’t that just called a felon?” (In some countries, yes.)
  4. “My psychiatrist told me two important things: one, never trust foreigners; two, don’t ever waste an erection, even if you’re alone.” (…but don’t trust that erection to a foreigner!)
  5.  ”Brooklyn is not part of Long Island the same way New York is not part of America.” (I love geography!)
  6. “Journey is like crack for white people.” (…and so is Faith Hill)
  7. “They’re called privates for a reason — you’re not supposed to show people.” (…not supposed to show anyone?)
  8.  ”Tampax is the fucking mafia!” (Wow! They really do control everything.)
  9.  ”Having your dick sucked poorly for 10 minutes and then watching him fuck your girlfriend can be fun in moderation, but after a while it just gets old.” (I’ll keep that in mind.)
  10.  ”You deserve to choke on that.” (Yes, I do.)

-Soylent Ape

Related Post: The Hymen Suffered Only A Small Dent!

Written by Soylent Ape

August 29, 2007 at 12:00 am

Posted in advice, fellatio, humor, idiots, list, new york, overheard in new york

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9 Responses to 'Never trust your erection to a foreigner'

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  1. You know, New York is so wonderfully, beautifully fucked-up! Have you ever seen a website called Overheard in San Antonio or What did you say, Portland?? Didn’t think so!

    Soylent Ape

    29 Aug 07 at 8:43 pm

  2. Everything is true! Journey is like crack for white people. Ever been to a hockey or baseball game when Dont Stop Believing comes on? It’s like they’re freebaseing Steve Perry.

    dANGERmOUSE

    30 Aug 07 at 6:37 am

  3. Uhhmmm, Ape, you’re right. But, there is this: http//overheardinhouston.net/wordpress

    Nothing against NY, but I’m pretty sure an Overheard in Austin would stack up.

    keywork

    30 Aug 07 at 8:41 am

  4. Overheard in Austin would be fucked-up, indeed–but not beautifully so. It’d be more heavy on self-absorbed hipsters arguing over whether or not Neutral Milk Hotel was better than The Olivia Tremor Control.

    Still, I like Austin and do my bit to “keep it weird”. See ya at SXSW!

    Soylent Ape

    30 Aug 07 at 8:45 pm

  5. yeah, that’s the right call.

    keywork

    31 Aug 07 at 8:15 am

  6. Someone should write a song from OINY quotes

    bagel of everything

    3 Sep 07 at 6:42 pm

  7. I think someone already did. That great man’s nake was Wesley Willis!

    Soylent Ape

    21 Oct 07 at 9:36 am

  8. someone found me through this post and it reminded me how awesome all you all are.

    there’s wisdom in these quotes you know . . . .

    seohack

    9 Oct 08 at 12:18 pm

  9. Thanks, SEO. I’m glad you still have a heart of ol’ RR. I miss it. I really do. Thanks for coming around. Happy Yom Kippur!

    Ghost of Soylent Ape

    9 Oct 08 at 8:35 pm

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