It’s been an interesting week …
So yeah, Bagel mentioned that I was sick, but I don’t think she really conveyed the full fucking horror of how sick I really was.
On Monday, 20 August, at about 12:30, I ate a Big Mac for lunch. It tasted good. I mean, it tasted really good. It was as deliciously yummy as I imagine Stiletto’s naughty bits must be in my fantasies, although it probably has a slightly higher fat content. But, for all my love of the Big Mac, it did not love me back.
By about 1:15 or so, I started to feel a little sick. Things only got worse as the day wore on, and I threw up for the first time at about 5:30. I spent a big chunk of Monday night laying on my side in the bathtub, uncontrollably vomiting and shitting everywhere. I haven’t lost control of myself like that since the first time that I actually gained control over those functions. It was … less than ideal. (It did, however, re-enforce why I love my wife … anyone that’ll hose you down after that, and still loves you … yeah, that’s a good thing, in my book.) Anyway, I stopped puking on about Wednesday. I’m still not fully recovered yet, but at least I’m finally eating solid food again. I still can’t force myself to choke down a full meal yet, though, and I still seem to get very tired, very easily. I’ll probably need to take a nap after I finish writing this, no shit.
But anyway, that’s only part of what I wanted to tell you about today! Bagel’s been getting a little pissy about the lack of comics lately, but there’s been a good reason for it! I’m hard at work on what has been, until now, a completely black project. Sooper-dooper highly classified Secret Squirrel kind of stuff. I’m still not going to give you any real details, but I’ll tell you that what I’ve been working on is Ration Reality’s first book! The working title is ‘Monkeys with Infinite Typewriters,’ and it’s non-fiction. It’s very nearly ready to go to press, and it should be available for your reading pleasure sometime in mid to late September! I know that all of our loyal minions out there in teh tubes will be qeueing up to purchase it, right?
This is exactly why I stay the hell away from temperature-sensitive condiments. I’m sure you’ve heard this, but I feel the need to tell you that, if you haven’t already, try Gatorade. That’s my cure-all. And pictures of swans. Congrats on the book.
Hooray for not being dead!
And here I thought I was going to have to interview for new artists!
Thanks for not dying, Jesse. You really saved me that whole hassle.
Kids, the book is full of win!
So I take it you’ll be the one mugging Ronald McD in the next ad?
Man, I know that had to suck.
I’m not sure if I wish to read a book by a wussy that lays in the bathtub shittin, puking and whining. Where I come from if you get food poisoning you shoot yourself in the stomach and move…crybaby
glad your better.
Is the book free? It oughtta be..you wouldn’t believe the wonderful restrooms your stickers are now in.
Consider yourself fortunate, JC, the Hamburglar didn’t live to tell his story.
C’mon JC! Die or get off the pot already. Sheesh
You ate a Big Mac?
Having someone love you enough to hose you down is, indeed, a good thing.
OMG! Jesse’s wife just sent me a picture of his sick-in-the-tub experience!!!!