Ration Reality

We’ve often heard the securities market likened to a wilderness and traders, brokers and such said to be predators. Well, at least one stockbroker knows that’s all bullshit, because no one’s ever died a violent death on the floor of a stock exchange. Well…outside of Pakistan, that is.

Last week, Australian broker David George got a lesson about short futures in the croc market.

Thrown from his horse on his vast ranch property in Northern Queensland, the dazed and injured George scurried up a nearby tree when crocodiles from an adjacent swamp spotted him and encroached.

Every night I was stalked by two crocs who would sit at the bottom of the tree staring up at me,” Mr George said yesterday.

All I could see was two sets of red eyes below me and all night I had to listen to a big bull croc bellowing a bit further out. I’d yell out at them, ‘I’m not falling out of this tree for you bastards’.

In total, George spent seven nights in the tree with little food or water before being found by a rescue effort that involved the Australian army, bushmen and Aboriginal guides. “It was the worst experience of my life, apart from when I mistakenly racked into the commodities exchange and got my left leg bitten of at the knee by a bloke in dungees and a Pal Joey cap.” (I made that last quote up.)

The London Times August 15, 2007

Famous Person Gets Away With Vandalism

Also in Australia, a shopper in an Alice Springs, QLD bookstore noticed a man walk in from the street. The pedestrian then picked up several books, wrote in them, re-shelved them and left. She notified manager Bev Ellis, who inspected the books and then immediately followed the man out to the street, but not to accost or detain him. It turns out the strange man was well-known horror writer Stephen King, which still makes him a “strange man”, one supposes. King had autographed 7 copies of his latest book  Lisey’s Story. Ellis said King’s act was not particuarly outlandish for an author, stating authors often have impromptu autograph sessions at book stores. (OF course, they usually tell management and sign the copies for specific customers but, hey…). The store will auction 6 copies of the book with proceeds going to charity. The Seventh copy…was sold to the customer who spotted King. As of press time, no charges were filed against King.

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