TLDR Biographies: Thomas Edison
A contribution from the mind of ZachAction. All of RationReality is one collective screaming ZA fangirl!
Thomas Edison holds like ten million patents. BFD. Oooh, he created lightbulbs. Well guess what, GOD created light, and what credit does He get? That’s not even my point. Don’t get me started on God’s lack of props.
Anyway, Thomas Edison was A) a racist, B) a pedophile, and C) an alcoholic. I could have invented the telegraph too if I had enough sex with minors. I too could have come up with the carbon microphone if I could just drink vodka like it was Tang. Believe me, I sure could have thought up the fluoroscope if I was able to just sit and think in a New Jersey prison for eight months for beating, raping, and killing a Negro waitress.
Thomas Edison, troubled genius? Psh. More like Thomas Edison, fucking asshole.
Guys, go visit him at ZachAction.com; Ladies, click to myspace.com/zachaction — I hear he’s single!
Zach Action can have my babies! :O
Beverly
22 Aug 07 at 3:11 pm
He can? Really?
I had no idea.
I’ll add that to my list of ZachFacts.
#193: Zach has a uterus.
;b
bagel of everything
22 Aug 07 at 5:35 pm
Don’t worry, Beverly. It’s just that territorial time of the month for Bagel…but, enough about the Head Bitch™’s ovulationisms.
All welcome Zach Action! Dude is a LEGEND! You don’t even know how funny this guy can be. We are happy to have him aboard.
Soylent Ape
22 Aug 07 at 7:40 pm
He is having MY babies! I found him first!
Zach Action is BRILLIANT. LOVE HIM.
Danish
22 Aug 07 at 10:34 pm
Zach is so drool-worthy.
Gembug
22 Aug 07 at 10:36 pm
girl fight!
SQUEEEEEEE
bagel of everything
22 Aug 07 at 10:44 pm
Can you believe this guy is single? I mean really.
Meepmeeep
22 Aug 07 at 11:29 pm
sounds like sour grapes to me….go kill and beat and raspe a black waitress, do your time, and lets see what patentable crap falls out of your head
good post
criminyjicket
23 Aug 07 at 5:38 am
Meep: I expect he’ll be snapped up by one of our savvy female readers anyday now.
CJ: I wonder if your plan of beating and “raspe”ing black waitresses as intellectual stimuli is patentable?
bagel of everything
13 Sep 07 at 9:05 am
Edison was a motherfucker for sure. Just ask Nikolai Tesla. Oh, wait, he’s dead too.
keywork
13 Sep 07 at 9:21 am
And what he did to George Westinghouse, accusing him of being AC/DC and all . . . .
Frontier Former Editor
13 Sep 07 at 9:28 am
those that like it on both sides….
keywork
13 Sep 07 at 9:33 am
well bagel, If asnyone could find a way to profit in it I have complete faith and confidence in your ability to do so.
criminyjicket
13 Sep 07 at 7:47 pm
I, too, could have drank Vodka like it was Tang, if I’d invented the carbon microphone.
bagel of everything
8 Oct 07 at 4:50 pm
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Looking back with a discerning eye « Ration Reality
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