Ration Reality

As our faithful readers know, we at RR are moderatly entertained by incomming searches. I often google the more interesting ones myself. I suppose it’s ego-surfing for bloggers.  When a search came in for “crack reality”, I had to check it out. Alas, we were not the number one google result. Something much better was.

CrackReality.com’s list of Things Crackheads Say!

A little find/replace action and we’ve got:

RationReality.com’s list of Things Bloggers Say!

• “I am using cocaine to wean myself off the blog!! You just do not understand!”
• “When you say blog it sounds so bad, that’s why I call it coke”.
• “That’s all in the past now; I realized I could either have you or blogs, and I love you too much to lose you”
• “You know, I don’t say anything about that Paxil you take.  It’s the same thing. Your addicted to Paxil.”
• “I am the king”
• “There is someone in the bushes again”
• “Get this straight: I am a blog addict.  But I am not a blog head. Believe it or not, there is a difference.”
• “I don’t have sex with the women.  We just blog together.”
• “It’s really just like a chocolate craving”
• “It’s not a physical addiction.”
• “I just have to go there one more time, just to say good-bye to my friends.”
• “I cant help it, it calls me…….”
• “What makes you think you’re entitled to the truth?”
• “I’m not addicted - I haven’t got an addictive personality.”
• “I wouldn’t touch any of them. Have you seen what they look like?”
• “My life isn’t nearly as exciting as you seem to think it is.”
• “I get such a rush out of controlling other people’s minds, I am so much smarter than everyone else, and I can control anyone’s mind” (said during a blog binge)
• “I am not strong enough to quit”
• “This is the last post, I promise.”
• “You think you own me.”
• “I have missed too much of my kids life, I promise I am not blogging ever again.”
• ” Why do I have to report to you? Who do you think you are? “
• “I am a blog addict because you don’t trust me!”
• “If you give me more freedom I can quit!”
• “Can you look for another job for me? I know you’re at work, but I’m tired here at home…”
• “Why don’t you trust me? I’ve never blogged! I know I told you I blogged but I made it up!”
• “I do it to help me sleep.”
• “You have serious issues.”
• “I love you madly, however I am a very unhappy person.”
• “I want you to have my babies.”
• “I’m just a recreational blogger.”
• “Can you pay tonight?” (For whatever….
• “I didn’t get to a bank machine today so I don’t have any money on me.”
• When I blog I have no feeling in my groin area whatsoever.”
• “Things are looking up.  I worked three days this week.”
• “Don’t be giving away the family secrets.”
• “I drank some energy drinks and they made me feel funny.”
• “My stomach is upset. I think I have diarrhea.”
•  “We need to build trust. Why don’t I take that $100 bill, go get Taco Bell, and bring you the change?”
•  “I wish I were dead!!!”
• “I know I’m such a failure. Why do you have to remind me?”
• “My friend owes me money. Borrow me some and I’ll pay you back.”
• “Growing up I had child hood problems.”
• “blog addicts are filthy people, I’m not like that”
•  ”I know I’m an addict,  Why are you being so mean to me telling me that?”
•  ”Why are you trying to change me?  I don’t do that to you”
• “I know judges and lawyers that blog, how bad can it be”

-bagel

See also:

Yo momma, in 500 jokes

You people disgust me