Ration Reality

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Thanks for another blog loan!                                                                    -bagel

Discouragement Kitten

Question:
Advice, Huh? well finaly, someone I can ask!
So, I didn’t technicly have sex with him, cause like that Clinton guy says oral ain’t sex, but I met this guy in a liquor store a few weeks ago, and one thing led to another and I ended up in the back of his van giving him a BJ.

He was almost handsom, sort of, and he hadn’t hit me so he seemed like a nice guy. when he blew his slipery kids a minute later I felt kinda bad about it, and wasn’t sure wether to spit or swallow, so I was just sorta holding it in my mouth trying to decide. Thats when he leand down and kissed me hard. I realy had no other option than to snowball him. he didn’t seem to mind though. Kinda creepy, but kinda hot too.

So anywayz, he returns the favor right after I snowballed him, hiking my skirt up and gnawing on me with enthusiasm. Damn that was hot. I was done a couple times before he quit. Then he handed me $50 and threw me out of the van.

Now I’m not a whore, and never done sex for cash.. not directly anyway. But he seemed to think I was, and it was a free $50 so I didn’t argue with him. besides, it was Hot!

So now to my problem, its been 2 weeks, and I ain’t gotten none since then what didn’t run on batteries, but I didn’t start bleeding on time, and now I’m craving Anchovie Icecream and Chedder cheese on my cheerios.Could he have gotten me pregnate by goind down on me after I snowballed him? I’d sure hate to blow that $50 on paying Miguel Sanchez to scrape out some pre-rug rat out of my coochie.

Answer:
Dear NeedsAHangerInTheCooch:

I hate to break it to you - but the abortion you should have will cost more than $50.00. We don’t need any of your snow cone love children running around (really we don’t) so I suggest you march your knocked up ass over to the nearest pharmacy and use some of that cash to buy a pregnancy test. Buy one that uses colors rather than symbols - we don’t want any reading comprehension skills to interfere with your understanding of the result.

It’s not likely that you are knocked up from a snowball - but as in all things it is possible. I think there is a direct correlation between stupidity and the complexity of problem situations encountered by a person - I mean really in that moment what was so difficult about deciding to swallow? I can just imagine the decision montage that scrolled through your head while holding a load of random guy skeet in your mouth. I wonder if you had thought balloons over your head - nah.. It’s as if retards sit around watching Three’s Company all day and then use that to model their daily interactions. I know I sure as hell can imagine Chrissy in this situation.

Anyway, I think if you’re not “in a family way” you should continue the pursuit of snowballs for $$. It’s probably a good pursuit for you - something you can both enjoy and profit from.

If you are carrying random jack fuck snowball spawn in your doubtlessly soiled womb you should continue to sell your body for cash - it’ll fund the vacuum job you need to have for the sake of all good citizens in this society.

Love,
Discouragement Kitten