Foiled again!
Washington, D. C. police and an extremely cordial family are perplexed by an event that took place just blocks from the seat of American government, wherein an intruder came for the home invasion but stayed for the lo-o-o-ove.
On June 16, an armed adult male came upon a group of friends eating on the patio of an upscale D. C. residence in the Capital Hill neighborhood. The intruder ever-so-swifly put a gun to the temple of a 14 year-old girl and announced, “Give me your money, or I’ll start shooting.” It was about that time that one of the guests replied, “We were just finishing dinner. Why don’t you have a glass of wine with us.”
The would-be hostage-taker took a glass of Château Malescot St. Exupery and complimented, “Damn, that’s good wine!” (Which, I believe was the exact comment the Bourdeux Wine Official Classifications board used when they classified it as a Second Growth label.)
A guest offered him a bottle, but, apparently, it was the Camembert cheese that sealed the deal. After sampling the fine dairy product, he must have realized that it’s uncivilized to brandish one’s glock in the midst of dinner and tuckked his armament back into his waistband. He then apologized for his uncouthness and asked for a hug. The gracious dinner guests obliged with a full-on group embrace. An obvious breach of dinner etiquette, to be sure, but are you going to gamble that your dry cleaner will be able to get the brains out of your new Alain Figaret? Didn’t think so.
-Soylent Ape
http://pressposts.com/Politics/Foiled-again/
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Oh yeah…read all about this and meant to put this up but you beat me to the punch.
That guest sure has some balls. Big ones. I’d like to meet him. Of course I’m assuming it’s a he - could be a crazy woman like my mother but I think she’d just jump on his ass and pull some gook in the jungle moves.
You know, it never turns out like that in the movies so that negotiator must have been drink as hell. Usually, when a hostage speaks, the bad guy shoots and then screams, “Shut the fuck up! Anyone else wanna talk?”
Maybe the armed intruder was Roy Pearson?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_L._Pearson,_Jr.
He’s not doing anything these days is he? Plus he needs the money to buy new pants? I smell a winner!
hahahah
That guy was such a fucking loser. Who the fuck thinks they’ve got standing to sue for $57 million over a pair of pants?!?!?!
Oh that guy makes me so mad! I hope Roy Pearson’s next outing to the dry cleaners results in all his clothes smelling like kimchee.
(Personal Opinion Notice) Roy Pearson and everyone that wields civil law like an offensive weapon needs to be shown the error of their ways. As to how they should be shown–I’ll leave that up to your imaginations.
What a worthless, megalomaniacal waste of a human being. Legal-types like the “Honorable” Roy Pearson, Jr. are more a threat to our country than Saddam Hussein was. My contempt for him knows no bounds. Fuck that black-robed douchebag. Fuck him hard.
[...] Foiled again! [...]
Cheese wins again!
I’d kill for cheese right now, but I don’t know if I’d not kill for cheese, however delicious it may be