Redefining Bad-Ass, One Lion At A Time
My dad is a sucker for forwarded Spam emails. It doesn’t really matter what it is - everything from ’send this to 10 people or a meteor will fall on your house’ all the way up to the classic ‘Bill Gates will give you a nickel for everyone you send this to.’ If it’s out there, and it’s a stupid annoying bullshit chain-spam, my dad has sent it to me. And I’ve gotten pissed about it. Pissed enough that I’ve come really fucking close to putting him on my spam filter.
But that all changed yesterday, when my dad sent me this one.
It seems that some time in the somewhat recent past (say, sometime since the development of color photography), a couple in Montana went out for a ride on their ranch. I don’t know what the wife was riding, but the husband was riding a mule. They had their dogs following along with them.
Any road, they got jumped by a mountain lion that decides he’d like to try the hound dog tartare. This turns out to be a really, really stupid fucking idea. The guy gets off his mule, and he’s going to take a shot in the air, try and scare off the lion. The mule, however, says ‘don’t worry about it, dude - I’ve got this one handled.’
In this first picture, the email claims that the cat was alive and trying to fight back as the mule whipped it around in circles, smashing its head against rocks and such.
After pretty well smashing its brains into the dirt, the mule bit the living shit out of the by now mostly dead cat, then went for an Edward Norton-style curb-stomp on it.
The dead cat went for another ride through the air. Note the dogs, sitting back and enjoying the show. They see no reason to get involved.
The final indignity: more hoofprints. The dogs are still just chilling out in the background. Why should they bother? Mule’s got it covered.
With the cat quite dead, the mule returned placidly to its owner, and the ride continued.
Fuck.
-jesse
Wow.
and the moral is - watch out for that killer piece of ass.
hrm, that made my ears burn, FFE :)
This is awesome. They should turn this ass-kicking mule into the main character of a Disney movie. It could be called: You don’t messa with-a the Mule.
Your Dad is my Aunt in Arakansas - who knew? I swear every time she sends me anything I send it back to her w/the Snopes link.
Wow! Talk about overkill.
You play with the mule, you get the hooves.
[...] Redefining Bad-Ass, One Lion At A Time [...]
The dogs were not “chillin’ out” I think they would have jumped right in. At which point Mr. Long ear would have trashed them too! Mules being not very discriminatory whilst on the fight. Smart dogs, good mule!