Police save frat boys from sexy naked lady
In late March, Ann Arbor police were summoned to the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity house at the University of Michigan.
This hardly seems newsworthy, as frat houses are usually noisy, filthy, alcohol-soaked dens of iniquity. However, this was not about drinking on the lawn or having the band turn down the mains.
No, this concerned an unaffiliated female interloper who sat down, disrobed and began masturbating, unconcerned by the many members hanging at the house that evening.
Now, it’s been a few years since I turned my tassel and did a celebratory kegstand, but I have to ask: What kind of soft, sensitive, weak-kneed frat boy would call the cops in this situation?
I always think of frat guys as Greek system gods, wearing their letters proudly on cockeyed baseball caps and playing their Limp Bizkit CDs loud enough for the whole campus to hear (how nice of them).
By day, they’d strut through Old Main and talk about the importance of their “Greek Day” display and by night, initiate pledges with humiliating, overtly-homoerotic rituals and, most importantly, OBJECTIFYING WOMEN AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY!
If you ask me, this was a golden opportunity, guys–but it was yours to blow. How far you have fallen, Pi Kaps.
Fraternity members stated that they would promptly remove the two, ahem, “affected” sofas.
See also: You Can’t Make This Shit Up
-soylent ape
Only one thing springs to mind here, both in terms of sadness and barely-concealed homosexuality:
2 Samuel 1:25-27
25. How the mighty are fallen in the midst of the battle! O Jonathan, thou was slain in thine high places.
26. I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love was wonderful, passing the love of women.
27. How are the mighty fallen, and the weapons of war perished!
OMG! This article is so weird, it got an atheist to quote bible verses at it! :)
Soy actually has that animal house tshirt.
Even Satan himself quotes the Bible … see Matthew 4.
matthew4.wordpress or .blogspot?
The word “fraternity” has origins in the Latin word “frater” (brother). The RSV and NIV are worded a little less scandalously with regard to David and Jonathan.
Hm.
RSV: “I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; very pleasant have you been to me; your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.”
NIV: “I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.”
I’m gonna go ahead and say that the RSV and NIV are … umm … yeah. Never mind.
Scandal be damned, anyway, right? At least it appears that the fraternity ‘fraters’ are keeping their relationships along Biblical guidelines. After all, David was ‘a man after God’s own heart,’ right? How can you go wrong, when you love your ‘brothers’ in the manner in which David loved his ‘brother’ Jonathan?
That puts the O in HOTT!!
Perhaps I should read the bible more often.
Hott with two ‘t’s? I thought I worked for an intellectual, not Paris Hilton. Of course, now I can say I’ve seen the boss naked. Cool!
The second “t” indicates just how hot it was. A mere 3 letters cannot contain the hotness of man-on-man action.
“I’ve seen the boss naked”
Who hasn’t?
I’m a bad, dirty girl.
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