Ration Reality

Trashy Dumpster Humping Whores

Posted in advice, animals, contributors, humor, idiots, life, mature, nsfw, relationships, slut by The Bagel of Everything on June 25th, 2007

One of my favorite bloggers, Discouragement Kitten, has loaned us the use of another of her blog entries. 

-bagel


Trashy Dumpster Humping Whores


 Discouragement Kitten


Question:

Dear Discouragement Kitten,
I have a perplexing conundrum of sorts. I am in a committed relationship of sorts with a very nice woman that while considerably bitchy, anal and at times rude to me I very much love and would like to continue seeing. The other half of this though is that her ex-roommate, whom is quiet fergilicious (her body stays vicious because she is always up in the gym just working on her fitness), is attracted to me and has told me on several occasions that she is.


My problem with this is that both women have, to put it nicely emotional problems. Current girlfriend is very moody and breaks up with me on a regular basis. Like clock work we fight on Saturday nights before we tramps to one of the marry parties we are invited too. Girl number two though is a wee bit mentally unstable and prone to mood swings and love feelings far too easily.I enjoy both ladies company for different reasons. My current I am relatively comfortable with and for the most part enjoy hanging out with when we are not fighting and she is not giving my self esteem a kick in the balls. Lady number two is very intelligent, reads watches the same films that I do and laughs very much at my sense of humor.
Now my problem is that I wish to pursue both. The latter lady knows that I am with my current girlfriend but has no qualms being the other woman.

I have a few moral qualms about this, because it feels like it is setting me up for a karmatic ass kicking. I am really just asking if I should go with one or the other, and when chose how should I break the news that I am an asshole to one or the other.

Sincerely,
Worried About Violent Retaliation

Answer:

Dear Worried About Violent Retaliation:

Fuck both of them up their high maintenance, conniving, stupid, piss guzzling and lovin’ it, shit encrusted turd baby release valves.  You must be a fucking shit fucking idiot OR your self esteem is so low that you’d lick dried cum off of a bar floor in the French Quarter for 3.00 and the laughing approval of your buddies.  Let’s look at what you think your two options are:

1.  Penis shredding, cunt stuffing bitch.  Why would you want to continue in a relationship with someone that (by your own admission) regularly rapes your self esteem - and then picks fights to top it all off?  What about this inspires feelings of love in you?  You probably fucking love it - well just so you’re aware being a raging irrational cunt is not normal feminine behavior.  (To be fair to her you probably to some degree inspire this type of behavior..)  There are alternatives - that apparently you are not investigating..  Either you get off on her abusive, erratic ways OR you are a verifiable fucking pussy fart that needs to be in a relationship all the time.  Do yourself a favor - next time she breaks up with you let it stand.  If there’s anything worse than a vicious cunt - it’s a vicious cunt that drinks drama like strawberry slurpees.  Fuck her - oh and fuck you too.

2.  Easy Pass Girl - I think all I have to say about this trench infected twat is - why would you want to date a girl that’s OK with fucking the boyfriend of a friend (even if it’s not a close friend) on the sly.  I think that says it all right there.  In addition to being slutty puss fuck she’s also a backstabber.  Do you really want to stick your dick in that?

My advice to you would be to drop both and find yourself a nice girl - you know what though; I doubt a nice girl would want to date you.  You get trashy, dumpster humping whores because well that’s what you deserve.

Love,
Discouragement Kitten


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5 Responses to 'Trashy Dumpster Humping Whores'

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  1. deearreeem said, on June 25th, 2007 at 6:56 pm

    i am so tired. this is what a comment looks like when i havent slept for days….

  2. Soylent Ape said, on June 25th, 2007 at 8:24 pm

    Damn, D.K., you’re hardcore (slowly steps back a few feet).

  3. Stona Lisa said, on June 26th, 2007 at 3:58 pm

    If i could give KUDOS here i would give D.KITTY a Hundred! That was great. Ballsy-ass-bitches are my fave! right bagel!?!

  4. Bagel of Everything said, on June 27th, 2007 at 1:45 am

    Right, SL!
    We should start a girl gang!
    Girl blogging gang!
    Except that we’d be stoned all the time…

  5. Stona Lisa said, on June 27th, 2007 at 8:24 am

    maybe THATS my problem…. ;-)

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