Ration Reality

 Entourage, Season 4 Premiere

Tonight was the first episode of season 4 for HBO’s Entourage.  Season 3 ended only about 3, maybe 4 weeks ago,  so I’m not quite sure what happened with the off-season, but I’m not complaining.

Anyway, when last we left the boys, Vince and Eric had just finished raising the money for Medellin.  Billy Walsh was onboard as director.  Ari was skeptical, Nick Rubenstein (with the money) was pissed, but he signed the check anyway. 

 Well, we come back and … it’s a little different.  They’re getting ready to film the movie, and this episode was done in the style of a behind-the-scenes documentary, the sort of bullshit thing that’s a special feature on a DVD but you never watch it.  Some little British poof narrates, but we never see him.  It was a good idea, but the execution of it was off – they used it for throwaway gags, and to allow them to squeeze 3 or 4 months into one half hour.

 This episode covered way too much territory.  At the start of the show, they’re just arriving in Colombia, still casting locals in the role.  By the end of the show, they’ve wrapped principal photography on the movie and they’re ready to head home and edit.  There were too many separate storylines that all had to come together in only a half-hour, and the results seemed just entirely too pat.  This should have been at least an hour of television, maybe an hour and a half. 

Here’s the plot lines:

1.  The ending of the movie.  Walsh decides that it sucks, so he wants to rewrite and he’s got nothing.  They call in Oscar-winning screenwriter Steve Gaghan (Traffic).  The night before Gaghan gets there, Walsh has a brainstorm and finishes the script.  It’s genius, they send Gaghan home with $275,000 and with no work accomplished.  Gaghan was entertaining, seems to have a good sense of humor.

2.  Pretty young Colombian girl.  I’m not sure what part she was playing in the film, but it doesn’t really matter.  She was hot.   Think Salma Hayek at age 18, that kind of hot.   Walsh wants to fuck her, and she’s having none of it (or maybe is just too oblivious – at one point she says ‘I only have a couple scenes in this movie, um, this film.  I do not know why the director wants to take all his meals with me.’)  Walsh can’t stand the thought of anyone else fucking her, since he’s not, so he bans sex on the set.  This one ends with Vince promising Walsh that he’s not slipping her the salami, and that’s the end of the storyline.

3.  Funding for the movie.  Things that Walsh wants are going to add to the pricetag on the movie.  Nicky Rubenstein is in celebri-jail on a cocaine charge, bank accounts frozen, so there’s no money.  Finally Walsh compromises and gives up some things he wants.

 There were a couple other things going on as well, but this was the important stuff.  It was a little too crowded – too much info in not enough time.  I didn’t see any sharks on screen, but my wife wonders if maybe there was an action scene that happened off-screen, involving Vince and the shark and some water skis?  I’m giving it some time, though. The preview for next week looks like it’s back to old tricks, so  I’m optimisitc.  I’ve loved Entourage since Season 1, and I’m looking forward to the rest of Season 4.

Cynical Commercial Links:  Buy Entourage on Amazon.com, and we get paid!

• buy Complete Season Two DVD Set      
• buy Season Three DVD Set (Part 1)     
• buy  Complete First Two Seasons DVD Set
• buy Entourage Original Soundtrack     
• buy Entourage Poster

Flight of the Conchords, Series Premiere

This show is retarded. 

Everything about it sucks. 

The people in it, they’re characters straight out of Tard Blog.   

The show opened with a 5 or 6 minute long song that sounded like it came out of a bad musical.  The photography and costumes looked like they were straight out of the 1970’s, and not in a good way.  Then something about  whether some girl got weirded out and left because someone turned on a light when she was alone with this guy, or if it was because the guy that turned on the light was her ex-boyfriend.  It wasn’t even that it was a well-written exchange - just ‘it was this,’ ‘no, it was that;’ ‘no, it was this;’ etc., etc., etc., ad infinitum nauseamque. 

I made it 9 minutes into this show, maybe 10.  HBO has used up its allotment of stupid this season.  They keep fucking up like this and I’m going to start having problems justifying the amount of money I spend for them each month.  I wish I’d had a Nielsen box.

Cynical Commercial Links: I refuse to help anyone sell product based on this shitty show, whether it pays me or not.