Hey Young World - Slick Rick The Ruler
Indeed I am the one and lonely J. Eugenius Wilson. I like snakes. I’m 32. I’m a Cap. I love to love to love love…
None of that is true. Except the two in the middle. The truth is I’m evil. I’m habitually sarcastic, cynical and just plain mad.
I’m a Musico, as they say in Mejico. I’m double jointed. I’m a DJ. I’m DJ Double Jointed. I do Bat Mitzvahs. Exclusively.
I live in the greatly over-rated northwest. Don’t come here. It smells funny. Like burnt oatmeal cookies.
I’m under exclusive contract to Ration Reality.
We’re like Foreigner. But way less sucky. Despite what your hipster fuck friends might say…
I love you all like every good Jewish boy loves his mother… angrily.
-Jody Eugenius Wilson
“We’re like Foreigner. But way less sucky”
That was as cold as ice, my Friend.
Someday you will pay the price, for being willing to sacrafice…my love.
A.J. Valliant
11 Jun 07 at 11:02 am
hey hey hey hey … That’s our belt. Give it back.
Jesse Custer
11 Jun 07 at 11:08 am
Yeah, I’m just workin’ for the weekend… no Jody, that’s loverboy. And loverboy has always sucked.
Jody Eugenius Wilson
11 Jun 07 at 11:30 am
What’s up with Jewish dudes and snakes? When I was 15, I bought a baby Burmese Python from an instructor at Governor’s School. My mom made me give it back–which leads to the whole “loving mother angrily” thing.
(”The Great Adventures of Slick Rick” was practically the soundtrack of my 8th grade year. Nice!)
Soylent Ape
11 Jun 07 at 9:30 pm
I used to catch cute cuddly little baby snakes in our yard and hide them from mom. I’d catch fireflies to feed them. I wanted to make the snakes biofluorescent.
I’ve never been good at being a girl.
bagel of everything
12 Jun 07 at 12:40 am
I think they have biofluorescent snakes in Australia. If they don’t yet, I’m sure they’re workin’ on it.
Soylent Ape
12 Jun 07 at 10:15 pm
IThe truth is, I find snakes to be creepily erotic… and I’m not even gay. I think it’s my reptilian brain responding to the cold, slithery scales on my hot, white flesh. Or maybe it was that really old hooker I was fucking when the snake was wrapped around my neck…
jody eugenius wilson
13 Jun 07 at 1:00 am
There was a snake involved? Way I remember it, that hooker just had really bad psoriasis … I think she was the one that had the scales.
Jesse Custer
13 Jun 07 at 1:13 am
Aw man… psoriasis? That’s just gross. Hookers and snakes= HOT. Psoriasis= well, psoriasis. I bet you got that shit and you pick at it and roll around it and then you bathe and susequently eat it. Thanks for dragging me deep into the darkside. Yuck.
jody eugenius wilson
14 Jun 07 at 5:00 am
J. Eugene is full of ten awesomez!
Soylent Ape
18 Nov 07 at 1:09 pm